Let It Go
by Beatle44
Summary: A/U. Sequel to Let It Be. Can Callie & Arizona find a future together or will personal history prove to be too much of an obstacle to overcome?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** This is a work of fan fiction using characters from Grey's Anatomy. The characters are created and owned by Shonda Rhimes and ABC. The story is for entertainment only. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story.

 **Author's Note:** This story picks right up where _Let It Be_ ends. This short sequel (approximately 10 chapters) has some implied abuse. Though it's not graphic, it may be a trigger for some. Please don't read if it's an issue for you. In terms of the medical aspect, I know nothing but what Google tells me. My sincere thanks to Cycworker, she has read all the chapters – at least once and I appreciate her input.

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 **Let It Go**

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 **Chapter 1**

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Arizona begrudgingly woke from her deep, peaceful slumber. Her body whined having been unwillingly roused from its cozy state. Fatigued muscles reminded her that if the next forty-eight hours proved to be anything like the last, she'd need more rest.

Arizona spent every moment since her beloved brunette appeared at the door greedily drinking in everything Calliope. Initially, she was fearful if she shut her eyes she'd wake to find this was nothing but another pathetic dream. But it wasn't a dream. It was real. Calliope Torres was here, in her bed. Arizona hoped the last two days were a precursor of what was to come - a future she'd never dreamed possible with a woman whom she connected with on so many levels it seemed uncanny. She was sure every today, every tomorrow and every day after that could be shared with Callie.

Screaming jarred Arizona's body once more, "Stop!...Don't touch me!"

Arizona propped herself up onto her elbows, grogginess still fogging her senses. She squinted, forcing her eyes to adjust to the dark. Moonlight glistened through the bedroom window, allowing her to take in the room's contour. Still drunk with sleep, Arizona feebly gazed to her left, realizing the noise was Callie. Callie was yelling...at someone. Arizona watched for a moment as Callie's head thrashed on her pillow and her body flailed about. Callie was having a nightmare.

Resting on her left elbow, Arizona leaned over and with her right hand, she shook the brunette gently on her shoulder. "Callie...Calliope...Wake up. C'mon hon, wake up," she gently prodded the distressed woman.

"Get your hands off me," Callie roared. "I said don't touch me!"

Arizona tried to pull back, but she was too late. Before she could react, Callie's strong hands planted themselves on Arizona's upper arms, gripping each fiercely. The next thing Arizona knew, she was violently shaken and then shoved forcefully away.

Arizona frantically reached out in a desperate attempt to grab something, anything to hold on to as she tumbled backward. Something turned out to be the lamp on the nightstand. It loudly crashed to the floor, with Arizona toppling upon it a split second behind. She shrieked, "Calliope!" as her body collided with the lamp and floor.

Startled by the shrill sound, Callie abruptly woke, dazed and confused as her heart raced furiously. She looked to her right, discovering the empty space, and hazily queried, "Arizona?"

"I'm here," an invisible voice shakily replied.

Disregarding her own state of distress, Callie crawled across the mattress. The moon acted as a spotlight, showcasing a teary, naked Arizona sitting on the floor surrounded by shards of glass twinkling in the moonbeams. "Oh my God! Arizona."

Callie watched Arizona's hands run up and down her arms, as she tried to soothe herself. "Arizona, what happened?"

"You...err...I...aah...I don't know," Arizona softly answered, still trembling from the incident. In the dark room, Arizona stared at the profile of her arms, feeling pain radiate from where Callie's hands angrily handcuffed. "I think you were having a nightmare. Are you okay?" she worriedly asked.

"I'm fine," Callie blurted. It was a panicked response to being anything but. Taking note of the lamp and the displaced blonde, Callie pieced the scene together. "Did I knock that over, too?" she quizzed, pointing to the lamp.

"No, not exactly. You knocked me over and I knocked the lamp over. Domino effect," Arizona weakly explained.

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No," Arizona fibbed. Her arms throbbed with pain. "I'm okay."

Callie hopped out of bed, still disturbed with the knowledge she had a nightmare with repercussions. "Let me help you up. Then I'll get a broom and dustpan," she offered. She flicked the light switch on, then grabbed a robe she spied lying on a chair and threw it on as she circled around the bed.

"No, I got it," Arizona decided as she was about to push herself up.

"Don't move!" Callie yelped. "Seriously Arizona, one wrong move and I'll be pulling glass slivers out of your pretty little...bottom."

Arizona smiled, glad for the distracting humor. The moment was awkward and strange. Neither woman knew quite how to handle it because they were still so unfamiliar with each other.

Callie leaned over and unplugged the broken lamp, moving it to the side. She gingerly pulled Arizona up, dodging the shattered glass from the eclectic glass lampshade and lightbulb, helping Arizona back to the bed. After, Callie picked up what was left of the lamp and placed it on the nightstand, leaving the smaller glass pieces on the ground. Her frantic mind was desperately trying to recall details about the bad dream. Not remembering the specifics was unsettling. The only remnants were the frightened feelings stirring in the pit of her stomach. Once again, her stealthy nightmare eluded her and all she was left with was the residual feeling of panic and fear.

Still shaken, Arizona sat on the bed, with her legs pulled to her chest. Feeling exposed and confused, she wrapped the sheet around her. It was a weird moment. This was the first time she ended up on the butt end of a lover's nightmare, literally. She waited nervously for Callie to return.

They hadn't yet discussed the specifics of their newfound relationship. This was the first night that allowed for sleep in earnest. The previous evenings left little time for sleep. Tonight, fatigue easily took charge and the women found themselves perhaps not sated sexually, but certainly sated with contentment. They evolved to an unspoken understanding that there was no rush to get it all in, tomorrow they could just pick up where they left off, and time was no longer their enemy, but their ally. Sleep was welcomed and the two snuggled in easily, each soaking in the comfort of the other in the shared bed.

Callie returned a few minutes later with the broom and dustpan, sweeping up as much as she could. "I'll vacuum in the morning. Are you sure you're okay, Arizona?"

"I'm good. Let's get some sleep. We want to be ready for the big day, right?" Arizona teased.

In the morning, Callie was keeping her promise. Callie reserved a car so the two could drive a couple hours north and visit Arizona's parents for a few days. Arizona couldn't recall how many months it had been since she last saw her folks. Part of her was apprehensive; part of her was overjoyed. The trip felt less daunting now that Callie was joining her. Callie had been so patient about the whole thing. Arizona tried to convince Callie she could manage the trip...on her own...at some point...in the future. Callie responded to Arizona's overtures with raised eyebrows and skepticism. "Hmmm...," was her standard reply to the blonde.

Arizona marveled at how Callie handled her mother's incessant intrusions, never fazed by the inane questions. Did she have allergies? Did she like fish? Did she eat meat? Favorite vegetables? Arizona was excluded from the texting conversations. Once Barbara Robbins got hold of Callie's cell phone number, she never bothered to even contact Arizona. Or maybe she did, but Arizona had not bothered to even find her cell phone and charge it. The only person in the world who mattered to her at the moment was Calliope Torres and she was right here. No cell phone was necessary.

As she processed the events of the night, it occurred to Arizona perhaps the trip weighed more heavily on Callie than she let on, thus the nightmare. Callie gave no indications she was anxious about the pending visit. For some wild ass reason, Callie actually seemed to be looking forward to it.

Arizona looked at the clock. It was late or rather early, just a few hours until daylight. It was hard to make sense of anything at the moment. Arizona wanted to blame her mother for infusing anxiety into their trip, but she couldn't shake the niggling reminder of the last time she saw Callie in a senseless state. In Bata, she learned the fever did not create those haunting images; it merely opened the gate to what already existed. Had the bad memories returned?

"Get in," Arizona said as she patted the empty space beside her. Callie was still in the robe, standing beside the bed. Seeing Callie's hesitation, she added, "Please."

"I'm just going to get some water. I need a few minutes to clear my head." Callie leaned over and kissed a weary Arizona. "Return to your visit with Ms. Sandman without me. I'll catch up," she jested. "We do have a big day and you need your sleep."

"Okay," Arizona yawned. "Hurry up. You've spoiled me. I sleep better with you."

Callie glowed at Arizona's words. They held true for her as well. After adjusting the sheets and tucking Arizona in, Callie shut off the light and closed the bedroom door, making her way to kitchen where she poured a glass of cold water from the refrigerated pitcher. The only items in the fridge were the pitcher of water and white wine. They were so busy consuming each other, there was no time for shopping or cooking. Nights were spent strolling down the sidewalks after romantic dinners out. Breakfast was entirely neglected. Lazy mornings led to brunches at a nearby cafe.

Callie plunked herself down on the couch in the living room, still grappling with her nightmare. Why? She thought they stopped. Clearly, they didn't. After leaving Africa, she prayed once she resolved the unresolved and tracked Arizona down, her anxiety would depart and the bad memories frequently plaguing her nights after leaving Bata would peter out. They hadn't. Arizona could have been hurt. It was frightening. Callie tried to remember the specifics of the awful dream. All she recalled was fear. "Breathe, Callie. Just breathe," she said, trying not to hyperventilate.

Africa haunted her. Not Africa exactly. Rivas and the jail haunted her. The more she willed it to go away, the more fiercely the memories returned. It was always at night when she was least prepared to fend off the unwanted remembrances. The nightmares ceased once she arrived in Miami. She assumed they had stopped. That belief allowed her to make the trip to California. It was never Callie's intention to get involved with Arizona if she remained in this stranglehold. She specifically stayed in Miami a few extra nights to assure herself that she was okay. But she was not okay. Tonight, the dark memories returned with a vengeance. Callie glanced at the closed bedroom door. She knew it was unfair and even selfish to drag Arizona into her broken life. She wasn't sure what to do.

Sipping her water, she tried her best to oust the horrific thoughts from her brain. She was happy. She knew she was falling in love with Arizona. The blonde was everything she yearned for in a soulmate. Compassionate, fun, selfless were just the beginning of a litany of words that came to mind when she thought of Arizona. Yet, Callie was also swimming in fear. Staring out at the nebulous sky only reminded her mind of her dark times. She had been so caught up in the pleasure of the last few days, she forgot about the nightmares. Perhaps not forgot; she just was so preoccupied by the moments of happiness that she denied their existence. Denial - such a tricky place to navigate.

Unable to sleep, Callie turned on the TV. Muting the volume, she blankly stared at the screen, waiting for the sun to rise.

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It was a beautiful day for a drive. Sunlight filled the bedroom. Callie walked out of the bathroom, towel clad. She just showered. Though short on sleep, the water reinvigorated her. She gazed longingly at Arizona, who was still peacefully asleep. Callie sat down on the bed next to her. After kissing Arizona on the head, she cheerfully added, "Morning, sleepy head."

Arizona couldn't help but smile. She liked waking up like this. Stretching her arms to the ceiling, shaking the sleep from her body, she grinned, "Morning."

Arizona watched as Callie's face turned from happy to panicked. "What?" Arizona innocently asked.

Callie drew in a breath and reached out to take one of Arizona's arms in her hand, examining it closely. She placed her right hand over the handprint on Arizona's left arm, the two were identical. "I did this," Callie stated factually. She gently released the left arm and picked up the right. This time her left hand mirrored the bruise on her right arm. The black and blue marks matched her handprint perfectly. The sight was paralyzing.

Arizona looked down, surprised to see fresh bruises, finally remembering what transpired. She winced as she lightly pressed her own fingers against the contusion. "Look, Calliope, it's nothing. It's just a small mark. It doesn't mean anything. It was a freak accident." But the look on Callie's face begged to differ. It did mean something.

Callie shook her head, "I'm not sure I agree with you. And they're not small." She stood, taking a few steps backward, needing to create some distance between them.

In that moment something changed. Arizona sensed it. "Calliope, look at me. This changes nothing. It was a nightmare. You've been through so much. It's to be expected."

"Hurting you is _**not**_ to be expected. I thought I only damaged the lamp. Why didn't you say anything? I hurt you! What if I broke your arm or did something even worse? We're visiting your parents. I'm sleeping under your parents' roof tonight. What are they going to think?" Callie challenged. "I hurt their daughter. No parent would find that okay."

"It won't matter. They'll understand. If it makes you feel better, they don't need to know. I'll just wear long sleeves," Arizona offered.

"Oh, right. Very inconspicuous. It's hot out, Arizona." Callie was beside herself, mumbling in what Arizona thought sounded like Spanish as the brunette paced about the room.

Arizona exited the bed and came up behind Callie, pulling her to a stop. She felt the tension in Callie's body. Wrapping her arms tightly around her, she could feel the woman relax. "Trust me. Trust us, please," Arizona begged.

Callie nodded in response. She didn't know how else to respond. She promised Arizona's mother they would visit today. She knew Arizona wouldn't go without her.

Arizona, not wanting to leave Callie with too much idle time, rushed through her shower. She changed and was ready in no time. Now she was glad to have the trip on the agenda for the next few days. They left the departure date open ended. Arizona wanted or rather needed some wiggle room. There were a few old family wounds still festering. She hoped this would be a healing trip. But if the cure was worse the ailment, Arizona had no issues hightailing out of there.

Callie believed Arizona was making a mountain out of a molehill with regard to the visit to her parents' home. She told Arizona that in all likelihood her fear of the unknown created a nonexistent problem, worrying deep down the real problem right now was her, not Arizona's fear of family-time.

As they walked down the street, their overnight bags slung over their shoulders, Arizona suggested, "Let's grab some coffee and muffins for the road. I'm hungry. I need breakfast."

Callie, who seemed less pensive than earlier - much to Arizona's relief, countered, "Would you do that? I want to pick up a hostess gift."

"Really, Calliope? You're bringing me. In my parents' eyes, there is no better gift. Believe me. My mother may already have written a letter to the Vatican, nominating you for sainthood."

"I don't think it works that way; I'd need to be beatified first and of course, already dead. But, I appreciate the thought," Callie joked. "I am not showing up empty-handed. Emily Post would be appalled. It won't take me long. I'll meet you at the rental place in twenty minutes."

"Fine," Arizona agreed, reluctant to leave Callie alone. But it was only for a few minutes. They said their goodbyes with a kiss and went off in different directions.

Callie returned with a Vera Bradley tote jam-packed with goodies. "Calliope, what did you do? This is not a simple gift. It's...too much. And you bought a fancy bag to boot." The bag was filled to the brim with expensive wine, elegant chocolates, gourmet cheeses, epicurean crackers and even decadent cookies. Logically, Callie knew she hadn't intentionally hurt Arizona, but she couldn't help feeling responsible. Though Callie only intended to purchase a couple items, her guilty conscience went on a shopping spree.

"Well, the chocolate chip cookies are for you," she said. "And I needed a more secure bag to carry all this in. It's not like I bought a Kate Spade or anything. Plus, it looks better in a real tote." Callie then second-guessed her selection, "Do you think your mother would rather have the Kate Spade?"

"Callie! Enough already. She'll love the Vera Bradley; it's more her style. But I guarantee you she'll try to give it back to you. She's going to tell you it's too much."

Feeling a burst of confidence, Callie grinned, "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Continued thanks to Cycworker for reviewing.

To those taking the time to read, follow, favorite and/or review _Let It Go_ , I truly appreciate it. **_Thank you_** _ **!**_

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 **Chapter 2**

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It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in sight and the sky was a stunning cornflower blue. Arizona squealed in surprise when she rounded the corner and saw Callie dangling keys as she leaned against a red Mini Cooper. "What better way to start our adventure?" Callie challenged. "A fun trip starts with a fun car."

Arizona beamed; thankful this morning's woes were behind them. Though the dark circles under Callie's eyes, now disguised with makeup, told Arizona that Callie did not go back to sleep last night. Under the guise of being a thoughtful friend, Arizona snatched the keys and hopped behind the wheel of the sporty coupe, teasing Callie that her driving was on par with Stella Bridger.

Callie arched her eyebrows, questioning, "You know she's not really driving?"

Arizona pouted as her bubble burst, "Well, do I at least look as sexy behind the wheel?"

Callie couldn't contain her laughter at the question, replying, "Sexier".

Arizona Robbins rarely drove. That much was soon obvious. The duo had traveled not even a mile when Callie nearly spilt her precious coffee three times as Arizona jammed on the brakes. "Just getting the feel of it," the blonde said reassuringly.

Seeing Arizona's playful yet confident demeanor, Callie tossed aside her worries that the journey would mimic an _Italian Job_ car chase gone bad. There was no point arguing with a woman who looked as good as Arizona did behind the wheel. Arizona's familiarity with the route made it a logical decision for her to drive. Truly, Arizona's enthusiasm outweighed her lack of skill in Callie's mind.

Deep down, Callie knew she was in no condition to drive. She needed a bit more sleep, especially if she wanted to be on top of her game and successfully navigate the parental maze she'd soon be entering. Callie was a tad nervous about meeting Arizona's parents, curious as to what they would be like. Based on multiple texts from Arizona's mother, the woman seemed very down to earth, quite unlike her own. Arizona' mother came off as welcoming, friendly and overjoyed about their visit.

Arizona shared very little about her father. She did advise Callie that her dad liked to be addressed as 'Colonel'. Though now retired from the Marines, her father was still in the habit of scheduling his day and everyone else's. Guests often were taken on arduous hikes or other walking adventures. It was enough to leave Callie feeling slightly intimidated at the thought of meeting the older man.

This was certainly a switch from visits to her own parents' home, where formality reigned. Spontaneity and informality wasn't her mother's style; everything was planned and orchestrated. Lucia Torres certainly didn't casually text guests she never met before. She didn't text, period. A simple overnight bag would never suffice. The outfits required to get through three meals, let alone three days demanded at least a suitcase. The only place her father took his guests was to the library for a good Cuban cigar. Having already spoken to and texted with Arizona's mother, Callie felt like she already knew the woman, but she still believed a good first impression mattered when meeting in person, thus the butterflies. Callie could actually see this trip being a regular part of their future. Their future. It had a nice ring to it.

The road trip started with small talk, allowing the two to continue to learn bits and pieces about each other. They discussed various jobs they held, favorite foods, memorable travels, successfully avoiding the topic that needed discussion most - last night. The absence of discussion about what transpired left lingering awkwardness in the air. Alas, such was the challenge with new and blooming relationships; neither were quite sure what topics were allowed and which were taboo.

An hour into the drive, as the conversation lulled, Callie dozed off. Arizona was content to turn on the radio. The road to the canyon home of the Robbins was picturesque. It never failed to take her breath away, especially as she drove the last mile. Her parents' home was far enough away from the city for privacy, yet close enough so as not to feel isolated. She pulled into the driveway and put the car in park.

Arizona reached to rouse Callie, but quickly recoiled, thinking better of it. An encore of last night's fiasco was definitely not the way to start the visit. She placed her hands in her lap and spoke softly so not to frighten the brunette. "Calliope, we're here. Callie..."

Callie's eyes slowly opened. She blearily looked at the foreign scene before her, momentarily having no clue where she was or why she was here.

"Time to wake-up, Calliope. We're here, at my parents'."

Callie looked to her left and saw Arizona sweetly smiling at her. "Hey. Sorry about that. I wasn't much of a driving companion," Callie apologized. "How long did I sleep?"

"Just an hour or so. I'm glad you were able to rest. Who knows what my dad has scheduled and my mother can be exhausting with her endless questions."

The women opened their respective doors and stepped from the rental car. "Wow, Arizona, it's beautiful here," Callie said, as she admired the picturesque landscape of dirt trails winding between sycamore and oak trees, with the mountains serving as a grand backdrop. She reached behind her seat to pick up the gift tote and her overnight bag.

"It really is. I forgot how nice it is to come home," Arizona said pleasingly.

As the women made their way to the walkway, they were preempted by an overjoyed Mrs. Robbins, who came at a fast clip from the side of the house, her left hand waving fresh cut flowers. "Arizona!...Daniel! They're here! Daniel," Barbara Robbins excitedly yelled out.

Callie grinned at the pure joy on Mrs. Robbins' face. It made her feel good all over. Just then the front door opened and a solemn looking man walked out. It only took him a second to replace his scowl with a smile. "Arizona," he warmly spoke. In just a few long strides, he was hugging his beloved daughter, lifting her from the ground.

Before Callie knew it, Arizona's mother was right there as well, having dropped the flowers on to the grass. Callie watched the family moment unfold, full of hugs and kisses. She knew, at least for now, all was right in Arizona's world, leaving her to wonder why it was so hard for Arizona to visit in the first place.

Barbara Robbins, wiping her happy tears from her face, started rambling, "Get their bags, Daniel." Returning her attention to Arizona, she said, "You must be hungry. Or thirsty. Would you rather coffee or ice tea? I can make lemonade..."

"Mom!" Arizona tilted her head to the side, reminding her mother they had a guest.

Mrs. Robbins turned around and stared admiringly at the taller woman behind her. "I'm sorry. I've totally ignored you. It's just been so long, I got carried away. You must be Callie." Barbara Robbins grasped Callie's hand, vigorously shaking it.

"I am. Callie Torres. Thank you so much for having me, Mrs. Robbins," Callie said as she handed the older woman the overflowing tote.

"Callie, for me? You shouldn't have! This is too much. Much too generous. You'll need to take some of this back with you. Bringing Arizona was more than enough," Barbara said. Callie blushed with the accolades.

Callie turned to her right, "Colonel Robbins, so very nice to meet you, sir."

"Ahhh, the mysterious or should I say, magical Callie who has managed to get my AWOL daughter to actually appear on her parents' doorstep. No small feat, my dear," Daniel remarked.

"Arizona deserves most of the credit. I'm just along for the ride. It was my fault she wasn't here sooner. I kept her busy with some work related...issues," Callie explained, trying to sidestep the particulars of her incarceration in Africa.

Scooping up the flowers with one hand and holding the tote in the other, Barbara Robbins invited the women in, "Let's go inside, shall we? Daniel, don't forget their overnight bags."

Mrs. Robbins took the lead and entered the house. "Sit. You didn't eat yet, did you? I have lunch all ready," she said as she placed the flowers in a waiting vase resting on the counter. "Arizona, would you get the drinks? Your father and I will have ice tea."

Callie sat down, smiling as Mrs. Robbins haphazardly bustled about the kitchen. She was just as Callie imagined her. Arizona took the seat across from Callie after setting the drinks on the table. As Mrs. Robbins served lunch, Colonel Robbins came around the corner. Standing behind Arizona, he placed his hands on his daughter's shoulders. Leaning down, he said, "Your bag is in your room, honey." Looking across the table, he added, "Callie, I put yours in the guest room, just down the hall from Arizona's bedroom. She'll show you."

"The guest room?" blurted Arizona in surprise. It never occurred to her they would be sleeping in separate bedrooms. This wasn't part of her plan.

"Thank you, Colonel," Callie interjected, quickly realizing Arizona's parents had no idea the two were more than friends. Why would they? While the last few days together seemed so natural, it was still fresh and untested by time and experience.

Arizona turned to her mother, her blue eyes pleading. A baffled Barbara asked, "What?" The older woman looked from Arizona to Callie and back to Arizona again. "Am I missing something here?" Barbara naively asked. She leaned in and whispered to her daughter, "You said she wasn't that kind of friend."

Arizona blushed. "I thought you, I mean, I just didn't want you to make a big deal of it," she huffed.

Callie, relieved to have her own room after last's night ugly event, quickly interceded. "Actually, the guest room is perfect. I'm feeling a bit off. Maybe I'm getting sick, I would be more comfortable." Callie wasn't certain how she was going to manage the night and Colonel Robbins' solved her dilemma by setting her up in the guest room. At least tonight she didn't need to worry about lashing out at Arizona again.

Hurt covered Arizona's face. She liked sleeping with Callie. She thought Callie liked sleeping with her. Why would Callie say that? Actually, she knew why, but Arizona thought she had successfully convinced Callie this morning that the situation last night was no big deal, an aberration. Callie didn't as much as grumble this morning during her snooze. Truthfully, Arizona was upset more with herself for not sharing with her mother that Callie wasn't ' _just a friend'._ But her mother was intrusive. Callie would have been harassed with questions beyond food preferences.

If Arizona had been honest with her mother in the first place, this sleeping arrangement would never have come up. But, she didn't want her mother getting all crazy over the girlfriend thing, especially since it had only been a few days. Though it was new, it was real and felt so right. The two still hadn't labeled their relationship yet, but that was more of formality anyhow...wasn't it?

Arizona chalked it up to Callie being uncomfortable in her parents' house and most likely being respectful of her parents, not aware of their position on things, such as unmarried people sharing beds. Callie did say she wanted to make a favorable first impression.

She would talk to Callie later, in private, and explain her parents would have no issues if they wanted to sleep together. They were actually quite liberal for a military family. "Okay. Let's eat. I'm starved," Arizona said, anxious to change the subject.

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After lunch, Arizona suggested to Callie they take a walk. The trail she had in mind was peaceful and quiet and away from her mother's overactive ears.

As they were walking out the door, Mrs. Robbins called out, "Hold on you two, don't forget water." She grabbed two bottles of cold water from the refrigerator. "Arizona, it's very warm out. Don't you think you would be more comfortable in short sleeves?"

Arizona stiffened, "Mom, I'm good." She accepted the water, handing one bottle to Callie. Grabbing Callie's free hand, she pulled her swiftly to the door before her mother continued the conversation. "We'll be back in a couple hours."

Once outside, Callie wondered, "Arizona, we just got here. Don't you think it's too soon to take off?" Her fingers instinctively intertwined with Arizona's.

"Calliope, trust me, we'll have lots of quality time with my parents. We'll be back in time for cocktail hour."

"Cocktail hour, huh? That sounds like a throwback to the fifties or sixties."

"My parents are creatures of habit. Some of my father's cronies from the military were into the cocktail thing. It's really just a more sophisticated happy hour," Arizona chuckled. It was all the same to her, just another reason to drink, except she was expected to change into something decent for 'cocktail hour'.

Arizona warned, "You'll be plied with alcohol and then subjected to twenty questions during dinner by mother. But that will be breeze. It's the after dinner drinks with my dad you should be worried about. You'll be S-O-L."

"S-O-L?" Callie questioned with eyebrows raised.

"Shit out of luck because I'll be expected to help my mother clean the kitchen and I won't be there to block for you. My dad can be intimidating," Arizona grimaced as she spoke. "I'm his little girl; I always will be. He thinks he needs to protect me or something. I think they figured out at lunch we're not just friends. By the way, I suggest choosing the brandy. It' the widest glass and hides your reaction better when he tries to rattle you...Plus, alcohol makes him less scary."

Callie laughed, "Haven't you met my father? I'm not worried about one-on-one time with your dad, but I'll opt for the brandy just the same."

A long pause entered the conversation.

No longer able to hold lingering fears and nagging questions back any longer, Arizona asked, "Calliope, we're a thing, right?"

Callie thoughtfully smiled. "Yes, I think so. I want us to be. We haven't really approached this in the normal way, have we?" Callie took a moment to choose her words carefully. "I'm nervous-"

"-Nervous? About us?" Arizona interrupted.

They tread hand-in-hand along the hiking path, heading toward a popular waterfall while they spoke. The scenic landscape was peaceful and beautiful, in contrast to Callie's insides which were surly and raucous. Callie pursed her lips a moment before answering as she kept her pace. "Arizona, there is so much I'm learning. Last night-"

Arizona interrupted again, not wanting to have this conversation, "-I told you, I get it. I unders-"

Callie stopped walking, turning her gaze to Arizona. She responded, "-I know you do. It's one of your many wonderful attributes. You need to know, it wasn't my first nightmare, not even my second or third. I hoped they had gone away. I thought they had. I'm sorry for not saying something earlier. Everything was just so great, I...I forgot about them. I never would have come to see you if I was still having nightmares," Callie divulged. "It's not fair to you."

This had the makings of a break-up speech in Arizona's mind. Arizona wouldn't allow the brunette to go there. "Stop right there! I'm a big girl. I can decide for myself what I can handle and what I can't," Arizona protested, a little too forcefully.

She saw the muscles in Callie's face constrict and quickly decided she needed to soften her approach. She didn't mean to overreact. It was just that her life was getting back on track. The thought of losing Callie again scared her. When Callie initially entered her life that wonderfully awful night in Bata, Arizona finally felt her heart finally start to beat again, like the tide rushing in. When she left Callie, Arizona felt her emotions ebb. These past few days were miraculously healing. But Arizona knew how fragile she still was. Another loss would devastate her.

She needed to help Callie understand if the brunette's presence in her life helped repair what was broken in her, wouldn't the converse be true? Couldn't she do the same for Callie? Placing her hand on Callie's arm, she said encouragingly, "They will get better. I can help you get through this. We just need to work through it. Together."

Callie tried to smile, but she couldn't. "I wish I had your confidence. I can't sleep with you tonight. Please don't ask me to. I need you to understand where I'm coming from. I'm learning about me, some of those things scare me. It seems each day I'm confronted with a new fear. I'm not the same person who went to Africa. Certain experiences changed me. I hurt you last night. What if it had been even worse? I just need time to figure things out. Can we slow down a bit, especially these next few days?" Seeing Arizona's disappointment, she added, "It's just, Arizona, I want your parents to like me."

"Seriously, Calliope, they already love you. Can't you see that?"

"Another episode like last night could jeopardize that. I'm not taking that chance. I know what it's like to have parents who don't like the boyfriend or girlfriend. I have _those_ parents. It makes everything so much harder and more complicated. I want to love you without the complications," Callie pleaded.

Arizona huffed, "Fine, but you know I'm not going to sleep well."

Callie smiled compassionately at Arizona, who stood flummoxed by the conversation. Callie decided to prudently change the subject. "Arizona, this is just a short visit and it isn't about me or us. It's for you to spend time with your family. Let's not get distracted by us right now. We should be focusing on your parents. It sounds like they've been missing you."

"Yeah, they have. I haven't been a very good daughter," Arizona confessed.

"Why is it so hard for you to see them?" Callie asked. "They've been nothing but gracious and accommodating since we've arrived"

"They really have been super." Arizona took a big breath in; holding it a moment, then released it. She gathered her willpower to explain. "I've been scarce since my brother died. It was always the two of us. We weren't just siblings, we were best friends. He died a few years back in the Middle East, killed in the line of duty. He was a Marine, like my dad. We all miss him so much. He left a void that is suffocating." Arizona's voice cracked as she explained.

She paused a moment, taking a sip of water before continuing. "There were times I would walk into the house and I couldn't breathe. They don't say it, but I feel like my parents expect so much from me. Now I'm their only child. It feels like it's on me to fulfill Tim's dreams, too. It's overwhelming sometimes. I just found reasons and excuses to stop coming home. It was simpler that way."

Callie's eyes welled with tears at the thought of a loved one dying. Arizona never mentioned her brother's death before, which was understandable - they had only been truly together a few days. The anguished expression on Arizona's face showed she clearly was still struggling with the loss. "That must be so hard on all of you," Callie sympathized. She paused a second before asking, "Can I ask what your parents expect from you other than to visit once in a while?"

Arizona shrugged, "Mostly, they want to see me more, preferably with a significant other. They don't like me going through life alone."

"Actually, I can't believe someone as smart and beautiful as you managed to stay single this long," Callie teased.

Arizona blushed, "It's not just about my love life. It's what they expect to come with it."

"What do you mean?"

"Kids, Calliope, kids. My parents dreamed of grandchildren. Tim talked about having a dozen kids. He was made to be a dad. But I can't do that. I won't. My parents know that but deep down I worry they will always be disappointed that they won't be grandparents."

"You don't want children?" Callie asked incredulously.

"Kids? No way," Arizona firmly replied. She saw Callie's expression falter. She hoped she misread it. "You want children?"

Callie shrugged, "Yeah, it's part of my dream, a few rugrats living in a house with a yard, picket fence and all that comes with it. Sure."

"Kids, plural, as in more than one?" Arizona needed confirmation.

"Yes, definitely more than one. An only child seems so...precocious I always thought, at least the ones in my neighborhood." Perplexed, Callie queried, "Arizona, why no kids?"

Arizona hesitated, sharing words rarely spoken aloud, "I never much thought about it before Tim died; I was too busy working or playing." The truth was she never dated anyone serious enough to even contemplate marriage, never mind discuss whether or not to have a child. And then Tim died. "When Tim died, a part of my parents died with him. I don't think I could survive what they went through...I don't ever want to experience what my parents did. I can't. I barely survived Tim dying." Arizona watched Callie's reaction, adding "I must sound selfish to you."

Callie felt a change in the air, as if the temperature dropped. She wasn't sure what to say, "No. Not selfish. You're still grieving. And parenting isn't for everyone. I...It's never occurred to me to imagine a future without kids. I guess I never thought about different options."

Silence took hold as the women tried to navigate the awkwardness. Callie pondered how to salvage not just the conversation, but perhaps even her relationship with Arizona. Even that was secondary. Her priority was ridding herself of the terrorizing memories, which proved to be dangerous, too. If that didn't happen, a future with Arizona would be unattainable.

As the conversation stalled, Callie chose a safer path, "Let's continue this discussion down the line. It's a bit premature to even worry about kids, right?" Callie stomach knotted as she said it.

Arizona read the expression on Callie's face loud and clear: _disappointment._

Forcing a grin, Callie pointed out, "See, this is just another reason for us to go slow."

The vague, open-ended words from the brunette were not what Arizona wanted to hear. "Calliope, you and I work. We aren't a coincidence or a passing fancy. We are supposed to be together. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Me neither. I want to believe we belong together, Arizona. But, kids or no kids, I need time to figure me out," Callie firmly stated. The quiet crept in, with each staring at the other, unsure who would break the stalemate.

"This isn't me, Arizona," Callie finally said. "I'm better than this, stronger than this. You're falling in love with a broken woman. I can't let you do that. I want you to fall in love with a whole person. Please, be patient with me until I get there."

The conversation ran its course. Children? Arizona had never dated anyone for whom children were a necessary part of the equation. She had also never loved someone like she loved Callie. Callie didn't say kids were a must. She didn't say they were optional. Callie said she needed to go slow; she didn't ask to stop.

The brunette requested space. Arizona selfishly wanted to say no, but looking at this through Callie's eyes, she understood how uncomfortable and self-conscious she might be. If Callie needed her own bed for a few days, Arizona would begrudgingly live with that. This could all be sorted out after this visit. Nonetheless, she hated letting go of what she wished so hard to reclaim.

Arizona nodded. "Hey look, Callie, the waterfall is just ahead." She strode forward, trying to hide her frustration.

Callie knew Arizona was upset. She caught up to the blonde and reached for her hand, letting Arizona know she didn't need separation, just space and time to get her head in order. The minute Callie's hand reached hers, Arizona clutched it dearly.

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* * *

After returning to the Robbins' house and freshening up, everyone gathered on the patio. As Arizona stated, cocktails were indeed served on the patio at 5:00pm. Mrs. Robbins opened one of the bottles of wine Callie brought. "Callie, you've spoiled us. This is delicious," the older woman exclaimed.

"It really is," Arizona agreed.

"How was your walk, girls? Did you get to the waterfall?" the Colonel asked.

Neither woman spoke at first, ignoring the first question altogether. Callie finally responded, "The waterfall was beautiful. It was so refreshing to dip our feet in."

"There's another hike I want to take you two on tomorrow. We can leave at 0900," the Colonel stated.

Arizona forced a smile, "Sure, Dad."

The room was uncomfortably quiet. Arizona's parents shrugged it off to everyone's unfamiliarity with each other. Callie initiated more conversation. She turned to Arizona's mother, asking, "Mrs. Robbins, what can you tell me about young Arizona, something you wouldn't mind sharing?"

Barbara Robbins beamed at the request. She rarely had the chance to indulge others with her storytelling. It didn't take long for Daniel to jump in. Arizona's parents chattered on, eventually speaking of their deceased son as well. The memories were clearly happy ones.

Arizona shifted uncomfortably in her chair initially, but soon she spilled more dirt on her brother than anyone. Her parents' were flabbergasted to learn of a few escapades they never were apprised of. Dinner passed quickly as everyone was laughing at the antics of the Robbins' duo. Arizona was surprised how easy it was to talk about Tim, and include him in their night.

Arizona missed her brother less the more they spoke of him. Even Arizona found the humor in her past. She leaned over to Callie and whispered, "Turnabout is fair play. Don't forget that when I ask your family about young Calliope Torres," she smirked.

Callie raised her eyebrows as if to say game on, knowing deep down they would never share an amusing night like this with her family. Tonight was fun, engaging and comfortable. Once dessert was done, Mrs. Robbins stood to clear the table.

Callie rose, picking up her plate and another near it when Daniel spoke up, "Callie, just leave that. Arizona will get it. Let's go sit on the porch."

As Arizona scooted around the table to grab the dirty dishes, she leaned into Callie, whispering, "Remember, brandy."

Callie forced a grin. "Sure, I'd love to sir," she replied.

Daniel led the way to the porch, holding the door for Callie, who sat in the porch swing. "How about a drink? Brandy, whiskey, cognac?" Daniel asked.

"Brandy would be lovely. Thank you, sir."

The two sat, glasses in hand, and silently watched the sun set behind the mountain peaks. "It's beautiful," Callie remarked once there was no longer a trace of the burnt orange on the horizon.

"It is," the Colonel confirmed. Daniel cleared his throat. "Callie, I'd like to know exactly what is your relationship with my daughter?"

Callie sipped her brandy, hoping to quell her panic at the question. Even she did not know the answer. "You don't pull any punches, do you sir? Start right with the hard stuff."

Daniel only smiled.

"Your daughter is extremely important to me. I owe her a great deal, perhaps even my life," Callie earnestly replied.

"She saved your life?" Daniel asked in surprise.

Realizing Arizona shared nothing with her parents, Callie explained, "I was unfairly implicated in an illegal and dangerous situation in Africa. Arizona tracked me down and ultimately got me the support I needed to get free of it. I'll be forever grateful."

The Colonel nodded, sipping his drink. "I haven't seen her this happy in years and that makes me happy. She's my only child now, my little girl. I don't want to see her hurt again. I've yet to hear the word girlfriend or love come your mouth or hers. Quite frankly, this could easily be some kind of Florence Nightingale syndrome or hero worship on your part, something that often passes sooner rather than later." He stared at Callie, unwavering, firmly stating, "It's not uncommon, you know."

Callie gulped another large swallow from the snifter, unprepared for his challenging remarks. Waiting a moment to choose her words carefully, she explained, "It's not a syndrome. I promise you that. I know love. I love your daughter, but..."

Colonel Robbins stood ramrod straight, "But? Love doesn't have qualifiers. It is or it isn't?" he demanded. His frustration with her answer and youth in general was evident by his response. "That's the problem with this generation, when the going gets rough, no one works through the problem - just….just….quit….give up…...get divorced. Exactly what is your issue with loving my daughter?"

Callie gulped another swig of brandy. Colonel Robbins may in fact be even more intimidating than her father she decided as he put her on the defensive. His comments on divorce soured her stomach, remembering she had yet to explain to Arizona about George.

Another second of silence passed as she thought how to explain. Colonel Robbins stood impatiently, waiting for her answer. "I think I may have returned from Africa with more baggage than I initially realized. In light of the circumstances, I don't think I'm ready to jump into something committed right now. It doesn't mean I'm stringing your daughter along or using her. I think it's best to go slow and not be rash. However, whatever is or isn't happening between us, Sir, is a conversation meant to be shared with Arizona, not with you." _Dammit,_ Callie thought. The brandy made her bolder than she would have liked.

Colonel Robbins grimaced. Callie braced herself for what was he was going to say next when she heard Arizona call out from the kitchen. _"I'll be right there, Callie. Don't let him spook you."_

Hearing his daughter's voice, Daniel Robbins closed out their conversation, speaking sternly, "Fair enough. But, because I know my daughter, I'm just saying make sure you in fact have the conversation. I don't want to see her hurt."

Just then the screen door swung open. Arizona walked right into palpable tension. The slamming door seemed to dissipate some of the stress. "Dad," she firmly said, "Callie's a guest. I hope you are treating her that way."

Callie reached over and grabbed Arizona's hand, "It's fine. Your dad and I were talking about Africa."

"Daniel...Daniel, can you give me a hand in here?" a distant voice called out from inside.

Arizona smiled with relief. She loved her mother and would thank her later for giving her privacy. "Well, that's my cue to leave," Daniel said. "0900 ladies?"

"Goodnight, Dad. See you in the morning," she said as she hugged her father. The two smiled in relief as Daniel left. He somewhat resembled a dog, with his tail between his legs. Her mother was so scattered and chatty at times, but tonight showed her perception and strength. She was the boss.

"Can we sit for a bit? I know it's getting late, but I just want some time alone with you before we...part for the night," Arizona asked. Callie nodded, wanting to switch her focus to Arizona. She had all night to digest Colonel Robbins' words.

The pair sat silently, enjoying the closeness when Callie anxiously blurted. "Arizona, I was married before. I want you to know that in case you don't want to be involved with...a...gay divorcee."

Arizona nervously giggled. "Are you trying to be funny because that's an awful joke?" She looked sincerely at Callie, "Since we're being honest and it makes me feel like a stalker even telling you this, but I knew you were married before."

Callie looked surprised. Arizona divulged, "That night I stayed with you, in Bata, I came across your passport when I was looking for something to sleep in. I took a picture of your emergency contact information. I called Mrs. O'Malley." Callie's eyes went wide. "You know, to learn more about you, a character reference. I didn't believe you could do anything wrong. I needed proof." Callie smiled, thankful Arizona's intuition was correct.

"I knew you were special after speaking with Mrs. O'Malley. Despite divorcing her son, she still really likes you. It was through her that I found your dad and was able to meet up with Miranda Bailey," Arizona shared.

"What? You saw Bailey?" Callie yelped in surprise.

Arizona realized there was still so much unknown between them. "Yeah, she's at LA Gen. She's the one who helped me figure out you were innocent." Callie sat silently, processing this new information.

"Look, Calliope, the point is I don't care that you were married before. It's all part of the journey that brought us here, together."

A relieved Callie merely answered. "Okay." The two swayed back and forth on the swing until eyes could no longer stay open and they knew it was time to call it a night.

At the top of the stairs, Arizona gave puppy dog eyes. Callie knew she was about to ask her to reconsider. Callie placed her finger to Arizona's lips, "Please, you promised. It's not what I want. It's what I need. Please be understanding." Arizona forced a nod, she didn't understand at all.

After kissing Arizona goodnight, Callie went left to the guest room and Arizona veered right, to her own childhood bedroom. "Thank you," Callie called after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you for continuing to read.

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 **Chapter 3**

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The guest room bed was comfy. The night air was cool. It was a perfect night for sleeping. Except it wasn't the same without Arizona. Arizona completed her in a ways no one ever had, the motherhood issue notwithstanding. Arizona didn't want children. Was it a deal-breaker?

When Callie thought about it, she might be the deal breaker, not Arizona's apprehension of parenting. Her mind kept replaying the aftermath of her violent outburst the previous night. As she lay in bed, the memories swirled about in her head.

After her conversation with Arizona's father, there was no way she'd renege on her resolve; she'd sleep alone, albeit poorly. The fact she was oblivious to her actions didn't exonerate her in her mind's eye. Last night she could have broken one or two of the blonde's bones. How could so much good and bad come in just a few days? Why wouldn't her mind leave what her body had physically fled well over a month ago?

Callie rolled over, completely drained from the day. Maybe Arizona was right - the nightmares would diminish over time. Thinking back to her days with Arizona left Callie soon sweetly snoring.

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* * *

Just down the hall, Arizona found nothing cozy about her own childhood bed. She glared at it, resenting its very presence. She refused to even roll down the covers. She paced back and forth along the expanse of the room. Why couldn't Callie see what was plainly obvious and just accept they were meant to be? How difficult was it to accept? The distance Callie requested had to be reinforced by the kid thing.

Children. Arizona smiled as she thought about her own youth, even chuckling as she thought about the stories shared a few hours earlier over dinner. The memories of Tim made her smile. When did that change? It was somewhere between dinner and dessert. The weeks after his death, the thought of Tim only brought endless tears. Yet tonight, she was laughing with his memories. They all were laughing. If anything, the childhood recollections seemed to close the chasm between her and her parents. Even her parents seemed like their old selves, reveling in the happy tales.

Standing by the window, she stared out at the stars, wanting to believe one of them was Tim and he was winking at her. Arizona now regretted stuffing thoughts of her brother so far back in her brain, pretending her confidant and best friend never existed. It was a disservice to him and even to her. It wasn't fair to forget him. He knew what he did was dangerous. He would say: W _hatever happens, remember the good times because I'll always be there - memories are timeless_.

Truly, Tim would hate to be relegated to an improper thought, stored away, rarely mentioned and eventually forgotten. If he appeared before her as an apparition, he would ream her a new one, boasting that he was far too important to be packed away in mothballs. All the mischievous deeds of their youth would be for naught if they were shunned and forgotten. Tim would be right. The expressions on her parents' faces tonight were priceless when they learned of the late night gallivanting and party-going of twenty years back. Arizona was ashamed to have spent so much energy forgetting instead of remembering.

In just a few short hours, Arizona felt less grief than she had in years. Her relationship with her parents was less strained; it was almost as good as it was when Tim was alive. Tonight was a good night, inspired by a catalyst named Calliope Torres.

Calliope. The woman made her feel good all over just by being in her presence. Loving Callie was remarkable medicine.

Why couldn't children be a possibility in her future...their future? Her reasons, fears more like it, seemed foolish after tonight. _Their future_ _ **,**_ it sounded nice and exciting. Thoughts of a mini Tim, a ball of energy and antics, and an unbelievably adorable young Callie, with a beautiful head of wavy, dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes filled her head.

Callie's dream wasn't so far-fetched as she thought about her own childhood. Even though she didn't see herself as a great mom, Callie would be an unbelievable mother, so nurturing and loving. She scrambled to the door, placing her hand on the knob, ready to burst out to the hallway and into the guest room, spilling her change of heart. But she stopped, remembering she promised to give Callie her space tonight. Creeping into the guest room, startling the sleeping brunette as she spouted her revelations may not endear her to Calliope at this hour.

Arizona accepted tomorrow was another day, full of futures and possibilities. Tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, she would share her change of heart. Eagerly, Arizona crawled into bed. She squirmed under the covers, trying to get comfortable. It reminded her of the Christmas Eves of her youth, when her parents' would point out the sooner she fell asleep, the sooner morning would come. Arizona was out like a light in no time as visions of Calliope Torres danced in her head.

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Arizona bounced from her bed the minute she felt the warm sun rest on her cheeks. She dashed from her room, down the hall. When she arrived at the guest room, it was empty. The bed was even made. Callie really was a disciple of Emily Post, Arizona mused.

The aroma of fresh-brewed coffee wafted up the stairwell, making Arizona eagerly smile as she bounded down the stairs. She rounded the corner, stopping short when she saw her mother holding Callie's hands as the two huddled at the kitchen table. Callie's eyes were red and bloodshot. She had been crying. Her mother looked troubled.

The sight frightened her. "What's wrong? Callie? What's the matter?" Callie looked at Arizona, but no words formed.

Barbara Robbins spoke, "Sit down, dear. I'll get you some coffee," her mother offered as she stood and walked to the counter.

As Arizona walked closer to the table, she noticed Callie's overnight bag sitting by the back door. "Why is your bag down here?...Callie?" Arizona shot a look to her mother, then back to Callie. "Someone needs to tell me what's going on," the blonde demanded. Tears welled in Arizona's eyes.

She stared at Callie. Unwilling to wait for a response, she challenged, "You're leaving? You can't leave. What about us? It's the kid thing, isn't it? But it's not an issue anymore. I want kids. I knew last night I wanted a family with you, picket fence and all. I can see my future with you. Please Calliope. I should have told you last night. I'm sorry," Arizona begged.

"Arizona." Callie finally spoke, her voice raw and gravelly. She reached, taking Arizona's hands in her own. "It's not about the kids...It's about me. Last night...I had another nightmare. It was a really bad one."

Staring at Arizona, Callie silently recalled what transpired as she woke up, cradled by the strong arms of Barbara Robbins. For the second night in a row, Callie's nightmare caused the night table to be wiped clean.

 _Barbara Robbins, whose first floor bedroom was directly beneath the guest room, heard the noises. She first thought Arizona had snuck into the guest room and the two were boldly enjoying each other. She was embarrassed by the thought. But when she heard Callie yell, "Stop" and "No," followed by a loud thud, Barbara couldn't ignore the ruckus any longer. Barbara Robbins had no idea what was going on upstairs. Had a bat snuck in again, creating havoc? She hustled up the stairs and noticed the closed door of Arizona's room. She peeked in. Her daughter was sleeping like a log, unaware of the turmoil just down the hall. Now, even more alarmed, Barbara rushed to the guest room where she saw Callie struggling not with a vexatious flying mammal, but with an invisible demon. Wrapping her arms securely around the distraught woman, Barbara brought Callie out of her dream-like state. It was then Callie remembered more of what her mind tried so hard to forget. She broke down, hysterical, in the arms of the older woman._

Staring at the disheartened brunette, Arizona remained perplexed, "So? It's a rough patch. We'll figure out the nightmare thing. Together."

Callie shook her head, stating, "This is something I need to sort out by myself. It's very complicated. I'm not sure I fully understand it all. It's changed me, making me someone I don't like very much. I need some time. Alone."

"You can't leave. You're not going! Calliope, please, no," Arizona pleaded.

"I'm sorry," Callie said as she sadly shook her head. "I won't involve you in this. I don't trust me. I promised myself at the start that only once I sorted out the mess I put myself in, only then would I track you down. I'm discovering this mess is far from over. I'm not well. I need help, professional help. There is no way I'm going to be an albatross on your neck - or anyone else's."

Arizona's fear was ejected by anger, which now took control as she tried to avoid having her fragile heart splinter. "You can't do this to me. You tell me you love me, but you still walk away from me. That's not how love's supposed to work. That's not how any of this is supposed to work. Who the hell do you think you are, Mary Freakin' Poppins? You show up with your fancy bag, full of treats and you go about fixing us, just to walk out the damn door once we all get attached?"

"Arizona, no. Let me exp-"

"No! You don't understand. Do you know how hard the last month was for me? I put everything on the line for you. It nearly broke me. You saw that. Remember the state you found me in? Now you're the one being selfish. I know it's only been few days, but I gave you all of me." Arizona was furious; she dropped her guard just long enough to be hurt again. "I knew it was too good to be true."

"Arizona, I know how much you did for me, how much you sacrificed. I'll be forever grateful. But, you need to understand where I'm coming from. I'm beyond scared. I'm paranoid. I don't know who I am or what I'll do. It's getting worse. I will not risk hurting you or anyone else right now. I can't be around you until I get some answers. I'm asking you - _**begging**_ you - to give me some time...alone."

Arizona stared at Callie; both women had tears streaming down their cheeks. Arizona shook her head in disbelief. "You say you don't want to hurt me, but you are. And I'm not talking about the bruises."

What had her daughter meant by that comment, especially after seeing Callie's jaw drop in horror, Barbara Robbins fearfully wondered. Callie stood at the table, and reached out for Arizona, but the blonde stepped backward.

Barbara Robbins stood silently as the scene unraveled. Callie had no idea what to say anymore. It didn't matter, Arizona wasn't finished. "The going gets a little bumpy for you, Calliope and you run for the door. Is that it? I see the pattern now. You escaped to Seattle, to Africa and now where? Perhaps a new continent this time? How about South America? Of course, you couldn't escape in Africa, could you? It was a little hard to run away in jail, so you just kicked me out of your life."

Callie tried to explain, "No, Arizona. This isn't the same. Of course, I want us," Callie barked. "It's why I came to California! But can't you see it my way? I need to fix me first. I need time. I don't have the energy to worry about anyone else but me right now!" she said, exasperated.

Arizona, annoyed by Callie's single-minded thought process, continued venting her frustration. "I want to understand, but I don't. You didn't learn anything from the last time, did you? Are you so damaged that you can't trust anyone with your heart? Is that it?" Arizona questioned. She didn't even bother waiting for an answer she already knew she wouldn't like. "For the second time, you just dismiss me. I don't get to have any say in us?"

Callie looked at Arizona. She knew how hurt Arizona was hearing her words. She tried to soften the blow. "I know how this must look to you. You think I'm giving up on us - before we've even gotten started. But I'm not. And you have every right to be angry with me right now. I'm angry with me!"

Arizona stared at the forlorn woman. It irked her at how well she knew Callie. She knew the brunette was completely spent from this past episode. Callie was at her breaking point. Arizona shrugged, accepting defeat. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she conceded, "Okay, Calliope, you win." Shoving her hands in the pockets of her shorts, she accepted, "If you need to sort this out alone, go do it. But, I can't watch you walk away from me. I'm not that strong. You are so wrapped up in your own problems that you fail to see what it will do to me when you walk out that door. It's too hard, so I'm going first. You can watch me walk away." Arizona turned around and walked out the front door.

The tears held at bay all morning let loose, rolling down Callie's cheeks as she saw the back of Arizona disappear from sight. She looked apologetically at Mrs. Robbins, "I'm sorry, so very sorry." The older woman pulled Callie into an embrace, leading her to the couch.

After some time, once Callie seemed more composed, Barbara firmly questioned, "I need to know what Arizona meant when she mentioned bruises. What bruises?"

Callie sadly nodded, "Two nights ago I had a nightmare. I thought they were gone once I returned to the States, but they weren't. They came back when I arrived in LA. I don't even know what happened. I woke up and Arizona was on the floor along with the lamp. In the morning, I saw the bruises. I must have grabbed her arms because she has serious bruising on both," Callie shared. "We didn't talk about it. She didn't want to and neither did I. We were so happy and I didn't want to lose that feeling after I waited so long to see her again. I hoped the nightmare was a fluke. It wasn't. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt her. That's why I can't stay; it's too much pressure worrying whether I'll do it again." Callie sincerely added, "I love Arizona too much to risk hurting her again. But I guess I did that anyway."

Barbara nodded. "She's hurting. But so are you. I've seen a lot of PTSD and this has all the markers. Callie, none of this is your fault. You do need help, I'm glad you see that. Arizona will understand...eventually. You turned the tables on her. She's not used to that. She's usually the one who runs. She definitely did after Tim died. It will take her some time until she's ready to see it from your perspective."

Both women stood, knowing it was time for Callie to leave. "As much as I hate to admit it, because I like you and I like you two together, you do need to go. After years of watching families struggling to heal from trauma, I've learned entering a relationship broken and fearful never bodes well. Like I said, take some time to sort it out. Figure out what you want and need." Callie paused, struggling to take the first step. Barbara prodded her, "Go on, my dear. No time like the present to get started."

Callie drew the older woman into another long, much needed hug. It surprised her how non-judgmental Barbara Robbins was under the circumstances. She knew her own mother would never be as understanding. Callie had hurt her daughter physically and emotionally, but the woman passed no judgement, just encouragement. "Thank you," Callie replied.

"Good luck, Callie. I hope we see you again someday," Mrs. Robbins offered.

"Me too," Callie woefully replied. "I hope so, too."

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* * *

Four hours later, Colonel Robbins found his daughter sitting by the waterfall, her feet swishing around in the cool water. He sat down next to her and pulled her into a big hug. Arizona only cried at the gesture.

Daniel said, "I gave you too much distance with Tim. I'm not doing that this time. Whether you want me to be here or not, I'm not letting you go."

Arizona angrily sobbed, "Oh, Dad. I can't do this again. She left me."

The Colonel let Arizona vent her anger and frustrations as he held her tight, not saying a word. He wasn't too happy with the situation either - Arizona was his little girl. Exactly what he worried about had transpired - his daughter was abandoned, leaving her heartbroken. At least Arizona was here, with them. This time he would make sure he was there for her, supporting his daughter as best he could, being the father she needed him to be. He was not impressed with the brunette if this was how she managed her problems.

After returning to the Robbins' house, Daniel and Arizona were greeted by a spread of food on the table, a late lunch or early dinner depending on how you looked at it. "I'm not hungry," Arizona said.

"And I'm not you mother," Barbara responded.

Arizona's eyes darted to her mother. "I hope your joking because I can't believe this day could get any shittier."

Barbara raised her eyebrows, rebuking her daughter on her word choice. "Yes, of course I'm kidding, and yes, I know you are hungry. You haven't eaten a thing all day. That _I'm-not-gonna-eat_ game got old years ago, Arizona. Sit down," her mother commanded. "Not eating solves nothing."

Arizona pondered her options. Her lonely bedroom seemed the less desirable of the two choices so Arizona dropped into her seat, still sulking like a twelve year old. She picked up her fork, playing with her food.

"Just try it, dear," her mother pushed. Barbara Robbins already knew one bite and Arizona would not be able to resist another. It was her daughter's favorite dish, strategically cooked in anticipation of a hunger strike.

While the three were eating in silence, Arizona finally spoke, "You did that on purpose."

Barbara feigned innocence, "I don't know you are talking about."

"You cooked my favorite meal knowing I wasn't going to be able to resist. Very under-handed," Arizona accused, thankful her mother cared enough to go to such effort for her.

"Think of it as comfort food," Barbara suggested.

"Mom, we shouldn't have let her go. She needs us," Arizona suddenly offered. "I didn't even say good-bye. I told her she was selfish. Who does that?"

"You were upset. You both were. We all deal with our issues differently. You know that, Arizona. Callie understands. She's not going to hold those parting words against you. I suspect it hurt Callie at least as much to leave us. You're a doctor. You know not to dismiss her fears. She wants to figure this out before anyone gets hurt, and not just physically. Respect her wishes, honey."

"I'm not Callie's doctor. I'm supposed to be her girlfriend. It's easy for you to say those words, but I'm the one with the broken heart," Arizona angrily replied.

Daniel interrupted the mother/daughter conversation. "What do you mean girlfriend? You've been dating for what, not even a week? Rather hasty to make those kind of claims, don't you think?"

Barbara shook her head at her husband's insensitivity. Discounting the significance of Callie in Arizona's life was the last thing their daughter needed to hear right now. She reminded her daughter, "She didn't exactly leave you, Arizona. She said she needed some time to sort things out."

"She also didn't say she'd be back. Calliope left things open-ended. What if she doesn't come back? Maybe what she has to figure out is me."

"Arizona, don't make this about you. She's trying to manage something horrible that might have happened to her, I'm afraid," Mrs. Robbins scolded.

"I know, but you're not making me feel better, Mom," Arizona bitterly answered, "Don't you understand how much I'm hurting right now?"

"I do, Arizona." Barbara cautiously shared, "Callie did tell me more about the bruises on your arms."

"What bruises?" Daniel interjected. It was the first he heard of them. He missed the morning's drama while he was out for a run.

"It's nothing, Dad."

Barbara Robbins raised her eyebrows, disbelieving Arizona's assessment.

"Let me see," her father demanded. Arizona hesitated. "Now," he insisted.

Arizona pushed the sleeves up on both her arms, revealing a mélange of vibrant black and blue. Daniel's jaw clenched. Arizona blurted, "She never knew she did that. In her dream someone one was hurting her, she was just defending herself. When I tried to wake her, she thought I was the bad guy."

After inspecting both arms, satisfied the marks were just bruises, Barbara concurred, "Callie is scared of something. Your father and I have seen a lot of post-traumatic stress; this seems to be exactly that. Don't you think so, Daniel?" Barbara asked, wanting her husband to be more sympathetic to Callie's predicament. "I can only guess she put more of the puzzle together last night. It certainly frightened her," Barbara noted.

Daniel mulled over the conversation. He quashed his agitation, finally adding his two cents, "Look honey, Callie seems like a nice enough person, but this whole relationship thing... well, it came on rather suddenly, don't you agree? Maybe it's for the best."

"Dad, I've never felt like this about anyone before. You've seen how good we are together. We work," Arizona explained in earnest.

"Arizona, are you sure this isn't some hero worship on Callie's part? She said you saved her. It happens all the time. One person falls in love with their rescuer after being saved from a life crisis. You must have seen it when you worked in the hospital. A patient has never had a crush on you?" Daniel prodded.

"Dad! That's not it. This is the reason I don't share stuff with you. You always try to find the negative. Did you tell Callie that last night, that you thought it was some lame infatuation?" Silence took hold of the room. "Did you?" Arizona barked.

"It may have come up in discussion," her father honestly answered.

"It's bad enough something is haunting her. Now you have to put doubt in the mix, too. You're sabotaging my love life. You're my father, you are supposed to love ME, support ME!"

Daniel looked over to his wife for some moral support but instead he was met with two glowering eyes. "You, Daniel Robbins, of all people, know better!" his wife scolded. "Callie is a nice girl. I like her. More importantly, Arizona likes her. I've seen enough of Arizona with her to know this relationship could actually go somewhere but not until Callie gets the PTSD gets under control. You know this," Barbara said sharply. Daniel stood quietly, stewing over his wife's reprimand. "Daniel, give Arizona the support and understanding I've seen you give your soldiers. She deserves at least that," Barbara reminded her husband.

Turning his attention back to his daughter, "Honey, I do support you. I'm sorry that I didn't come across that way. It's just that I...I just don't like to see you hurting," Daniel sheepishly answered. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, Callie didn't buy my theory either...She said she loved you."

"She did?" Arizona eagerly questioned.

Daniel nodded.

"Well, that settles that," Barbara decided.

Arizona looked confused, "What do you mean, Mom?"

"It's essentially that quote. You know the one - If you love someone let them go, if they come back to you, that one."

"Not helping, Mom," Arizona scowled.

Barbara looked lovingly at her daughter. "I'm sorry, honey. I feel terrible this happened to you, to both of you. You know, if I could fix it, I would. But there's not a thing any of us can do to help Callie, but give her time and space. She knows how to find you. She will contact you when she is ready."

"Wait, you still have her number, don't you? On your cell phone, you have Callie's phone number," Arizona excitedly remembered.

Barbara shook her head, "I don't. Callie knew you would try to call her. She asked if I would delete it this morning. I didn't even know how to do that. Callie took care of it. Give her the separation she asked for. Respect her wishes. You know, Arizona, you're the one that's saying it's meant to be. If it is, then let nature take its course. You would save yourself a lot of heartache."

"Right, so you're encouraging me to do what I did with Tim and just push her out of my mind and pretend she never existed-"

"-No!" Barbara interrupted, clearly hurt by Arizona's accusation. "We all struggled with Tim's death. Your father and I did not support you as well as we could have. I regret not being as supportive as I should have been with you. It's okay to miss Callie and to be sad she is not here. I expect you'll shed plenty of tears. But, your father and I are not going to let you stop living. We are a family and we are going to help you get through this. Ultimately, you need to accept that Callie is going to sort things out at her own pace. Whatever happened in Africa damaged her. She needs more help than you or I can give her. If and when she returns, she wants you as an equal, as a partner, not as a caretaker or therapist."

Barbara plated the gourmet chocolate chip cookies from the pseudo Mary Poppins carpet bag. "Here, maybe these will help." Arizona groaned at the sight, but it didn't stop her from eating a few.

* * *

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Quote referenced: "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."  
― Kahlil Gibran


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N 1:** Many thanks to Cycworker who has served as beta for this story. Any mistakes are mine, since I always change things even after she looks it over.

 **A/N 2:** Some implied abuse. Please don't read if it's a trigger for you.

Thank you for reading

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 **Chapter 4**

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* * *

Callie turned on her GPS to find her way out of the canyons and to the Los Angeles airport. She needed to get away, and Miami was the only place she knew to run to. It was the only spot the nightmares had not invaded. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She gave up trying to wipe them away.

Since her incarceration in Africa, her nights were haunted. The nightmares followed her from Africa to France. She assumed they stopped once she stepped back on American soil. The last two nights had proven her wrong. Her Dementors showed shadows of their wretched faces. She remembered bits and pieces of what her psyche tried so hard to protect her from.

 _She remembered being allowed to go to the bathroom. The guard said, 'Wait here when you're done,' and he disappeared down the hall. She used the toilet and proceeded to wash her face and hands as best she could. As she leaned over the basin, the lights went out. Hands. She felt hands come around her. She pushed back, trying to escape their grip. There was pushing and pulling. Cool metal slapped her face. Her head crashed against the steel basin. Another voice. Another person. Then...nothing._

It was all she could remember. Was she attacked? How could she forget being attacked? Why would she forget such a thing? Her body never revealed any unexplained bruises. Had she missed them? Everything she came in contact with in that jail was grossly grimy. It easily found its way to her clothing and skin. Add in the day to day bumps and bruises she got from being shoved and pulled around, it was hard to suspect anything unusual - not that she looked very hard. She didn't believe anything happened, but she had done a psych rotation as part of her medical training. She knew there was always the possibility a situation could have been pushed to the inner recesses of her mind. It was easy to do; late the following day her father appeared, turning her life into a whirlwind.

Bile rose in her throat as she thought about the potential consequences. She was supposed to get a thorough check-up when she returned stateside. Her father insisted once he saw her. He wanted to take her straight to the hospital. But she put that off, not trusting _that_ hospital, and she was desperate to flee the country. She assured her father she would see a doctor once she returned to the United States. She was a physician; she believed her injuries were just superficial. Callie was convinced she was fine. But her last period, when was that? She tried to do the math. It was more than four weeks, but it was always more than four weeks. Now that she calculated the days, it occurred to Callie that she hadn't had a period since before she was arrested. She assumed it was the stress. The same thing happened during her residency until she went on the pill. Fuck. She couldn't be pregnant. Her body would tell her as much. The only thing her body divulged these days was fear and uncertainty. She needed a pregnancy test.

Callie trembled, thinking of what may have happened that night. Africa was turning out to be a bigger problem, an inescapable personal tsunami. It was slowly killing her. She needed to see a doctor and resolve at least one issue, before her insides were lined with ulcers or worse. She didn't know who to call. Her mother would know people in Miami. Shaking her head, _'I won't involve my mother in this, at least not yet,'_ she thought. The last thing Callie wanted to hear was _'I told you so,'_ which is exactly what her mother's tone would imply.

Following the signs for the airport, she noticed the blue hospital signs for LA General. Remembering Arizona's comments about Miranda Bailey, Callie thought, ' _Bailey, she'll help me'._ Callie flipped her right blinker on and darted to the inside lane, a move that would make Alvaro proud, she thought as she reminisced about her former driver. "I wonder how he is?" she mulled aloud. The signs on the freeway indicated the LA General exit was coming up. Callie took the next exit, following the blue H. She located patient parking and pulled into the lot.

* * *

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* * *

Entering the building, she approached the information desk. "May I help you?" a kindly gentleman asked.

"Please. I'm looking for the office of Dr. Miranda Bailey," Callie asked.

He searched his directory. "She's on the sixth floor, Office 615. Elevators are to your left." He pointed the way.

"Thank you," Callie replied.

Callie took the elevator to the sixth floor and quickly located Bailey's office. The door was shut and locked. Callie debated what to do. It was a big hospital with lots of places she could be.

Noticing an unfamiliar woman loitering around the office door of Dr. Bailey, a female employee approached, "May I help you? You look lost."

"I'm here to see Dr. Bailey," Callie tersely responded.

"Is she expecting you? the woman asked warily.

At least Bailey's here, thought Callie in relief. "She's not expecting me, but it's urgent." Callie replied, fearful that the woman was about to dismiss her. Why shouldn't she? Callie was casually dressed in jeans, with her hair pulled into a casual ponytail. She wore no makeup and carried no briefcase; definitely not the appearance of a drug rep or other medical professional. Harried in appearance, the woman surely assumed Callie was a needy patient, pushing boundaries by tracking down the dedicated physician in her office.

Callie decided to name drop, knowing this woman would be more helpful if she knew Callie was a doctor and acquainted with Miranda Bailey. Using her doctor voice, Callie announced, with as much authority she could muster, "I'm Dr. Callie Torres. It's important I see Miranda today. Do you know where I can find her?"

The woman perked up, not entirely sold on Callie's story, but unable to dismiss it outright either. "She's in a meeting for another hour. There's a coffee shop on the first floor. Would you mind waiting there? There's no real waiting area on this floor. It's more comfortable there anyhow. I'll let her know you're here," the woman offered. "You said your name was..." The woman looked at Callie, pen and paper in hand.

"Callie Torres. **Dr.** Callie Torres," Callie firmly stated, emphasizing doctor. "Thank you."

Callie grabbed a bowl of soup and a cup of coffee, not that she was all that hungry. But she knew she needed to eat at some point. Despite Barbara Robbins' heartfelt attempts, Callie couldn't eat a morsel this morning. As she was finishing up her coffee, a familiar voice caught her attention, "Do my eyes deceive me? Is the one and only Callie Torres in my hospital?"

Callie's grin stretched ear to ear. "Bailey!" Miranda Bailey walked to the table, arms outstretched, embracing Callie wholeheartedly as the long-time friends reunited. It only took mere seconds before Callie folded in the shorter woman's strong arms, sobbing.

"I take it this isn't a social call," Bailey said as she held the forlorn woman securely. "Let's go to my office," Bailey suggested, as she wrapped her arm around Callie's waist.

* * *

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* * *

Once inside the private office, Bailey recounted, "First a blonde shows up and tells me you're in a bit of trouble, convincing me to tell her personal information. Now you show up, sitting in my office in tears. That's no coincidence. It's so good to see you, but please tell me what's going on."

"I don't even know where to start," Callie cried.

"How about explaining why the hell you went to Africa in the first place," Bailey demanded.

Callie shared the events leading up to her presently sitting Bailey's office, having a complete meltdown. "Wow," was all Bailey could manage at first. "We need to talk more, but let's get you into see someone first."

"No, I'm here to see you," Callie insisted. "You're a doctor. You've done this before."

"Callie, we both know you need to see a real gyn. I have just the person. She does a terrific job. Let me be your friend, not your doctor, through this." Bailey looked at the sad, brown eyes staring across from her, encouraging Callie just a little bit harder, "Please."

Callie reluctantly nodded, "Okay."

Bailey made a phone call and quickly escorted Callie to the Obstetric/Gynecological Department. "Callie, this is my friend and colleague, Dr. Pam Martin," pointing to a tall, lean, eye-catching woman. One would guess that Dr. Martin was once quite a basketball player just by her tall, athletic look. Bailey turned to Callie and placed her hand on her shoulder, "This is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Callie Torres. She's a doctor as well, but orthopedics is her thing. "

"Call me Pam," the tall woman said, as she reached for Callie's hand to greet her. "Nice to meet you, Callie." Sizing up the brunette a moment, Pam asked, "You wouldn't be Cartilage Callie, would you?"

Callie blushed. "Guilty, though I'm surprised that tidbit made its way to babies and vaginas."

Pam chuckled at Callie's humor, "Oh, we get around. But Miranda may have dropped your name here and there."

Bailey shifted uncomfortably. "You both know me well enough to know I do not do accolades or compliments. I'm sure it was purely in medical context." Callie sported a smug smile, giving Bailey a look that basically said, ' _Busted'._

Pam's demeanor shifted, changing to professional. "It's best we get started. I'm sure you're anxious. I don't need to sugar coat this for you. You know how the process works, correct?"

Callie nodded. Pam continued, addressing the two women, "Callie, this next part is up to you on how you would like to handle. Would like Miranda to stay or...,"

"No, I'm good. Bailey go finish your rounds," Callie encouraged.

"Are you sure? I do have some things to take care of. I'll check back in a bit." Bailey placed her hands on Callie's shoulders, "You good, girl? I'll stay if you need me," she said assuredly.

Callie couldn't help but smile. "I can handle this. You're a good friend, Bailey," Callie acknowledged. "Thank you."

"Don't be blabbing that," Bailey chided as she strutted out the door.

Once alone, Pam asked Callie to explain her concerns and what she remembered happening. "Callie, regardless of what the results show, I'm recommending you see someone, a therapist. You've had a rough go of things. Even if everything is negative, the way you were mistreated in jail was still assault. It had to be traumatic. You mentioned returning to Miami. I'll get you a few names of therapists there. Don't wait too long to call them. In the interim, if the pregnancy test is negative, I will give you something to help you sleep. The prescription is just for a week, until you tie in with someone else. I can see you're dragging. The nightmares only worsen with fatigue."

Callie readily conceded, "Thank you. A good night's sleep would really help. Seeing someone is a good idea."

Once they finished talking, Dr. Martin led Callie to the exam room. "Let's get the blood work done first. The results from pregnancy and rapid HIV test will only take a bit. We should have them before you leave. The testing for other STDs will take a few days. I'll need to do a vaginal swab. Have a seat." Pam pulled out the needle and vials, prepping Callie for the blood draw.

"I'm getting the VIP treatment," Callie noted.

"Well, the treatment is not exceptionally VIP. Normally, in sensitive situations, I prefer to handle this part. I like keep the number of personnel involved to a minimum. Though, any friend of Miranda's is a friend of mine...Small stick, it might hurt a second..."

"Okay, all set," Dr. Martin said as she placed the stickers on the vials. Dr. Martin handed Callie a gown. "You know the drill. I'll give you a few minutes. The restroom is just out the door, to the right. I'd like to get a urine sample. It wouldn't hurt to run a few other routine tests. It's been my experience that doctors are the worst patients, never timely in getting their annual check-ups. We'll cover all the bases today. While you change, I'm going to run these to the lab. I'll be back in ten," Pam said.

* * *

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* * *

Miranda Bailey found Callie sitting in the coffee shop two hours later. "Do you want something stronger? We don't have Joe's, but we have some decent options here. You're over two hurdles, a good reason to celebrate."

Callie only offered a sad smile. Callie's pregnancy test was negative and the rapid HIV was as well.

Callie nodded in agreement. "Raincheck? I'm actually good with the coffee. I want to get back to Miami tonight if possible. The sooner the better. I'm hoping going home will make me feel more grounded. Not that Miami is exactly home, but it's all I have at the moment. I'm going to try and catch the red-eye. Do you have time to talk now, for a bit? I've managed to throw a wrench into your day, haven't I?" Callie said apologetically.

"Well, that's nothing new for you," Miranda teased. "I was happy I could make the time. I've missed being part of your crazy life." Bailey looked at Callie and sincerely spoke, "I've missed you." The two shared a silent moment, each feeling guilty that they both let their friendship wane, but happy the bonds were merely stretched, not severed. They were picking up almost where they left off.

Bailey perked up, "I would like to hear more about this Dr. Robbins. She seems to keep popping up not just in my hospital, but in conversation. Is she a just friend or a very friendly friend?"

"Arizona," Callie said, a twinkle returning to her eyes, which soon liquefied and dripped down her cheek.

"Oh right, I forgot about the funky name," Bailey teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Callie pulled herself together, remembering her resolution and explained, "She is a very friendly friend. If I ever get my life in order, I actually think she could be the one. Right now she's not too happy with me. Things were great, actually awesome, but the nightmares. They are making me someone I'm not. The other night, I left her with bruises. I was sound asleep! I never knew what I'd done until the next day when I saw her arms. She never said a word. So, I up and bailed."

"Since when does badass Callie Torres give up so quickly?" Bailey asked with surprise.

"A relationship needs to be based on trust and if I don't trust myself, how can expect Arizona to trust me? I need to figure this out, Bailey. I don't know what happened or why it's happening. Maybe it's nothing. I don't think I was attacked; there would have been signs. I would have suspected something. But there was no indication. I don't know what happened. Arizona didn't sign up for that."

"Do you love her?" Bailey quizzed.

Callie glowed at the question, "I do, too much to risk hurting her."

"You're sure? This is rather sudden," Bailey pointed out.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Callie snapped. "I know my track record is less than stellar. We haven't run off to Vegas yet," Callie bitterly joked. "Bailey, this isn't some passing fancy. I've been in lust, smitten, infatuated, and even in love. This is none of that. I loved George, just not enough. What I feel for Arizona is a hundred times stronger. But sometimes, love's not enough. I won't hurt her by including her in my messy life. I want her to fall in love with me, not this damaged version we need to spend a lifetime fixing or her walking on eggshells every time I have an episode."

"Well, I happen to disagree with you. I do think love's more than enough. You know the funny thing about love - it's a team sport. It doesn't sound like you're being a team player. You could sort this out with her," Bailey suggested. "It sounds like she jumped through hoops to help you. And all she had to go on was feelings - her feelings for you. Her instincts appear spot on."

"I can't, Bailey. I'm not including her, not until I know what happened. I'm not dragging anyone else into my screwed up life."

"What am I, a nobody?" Bailey yelped at the implication.

Callie wrapped her arm around Bailey's shoulders, "Bailey, you're family, my family. Families play by different rules. You know me, and all my trials and tribulations. You don't count."

"Hmmph," was Bailey's response. "Since families should be honest, I'll be the first to point out you haven't made the best choices in your love life. You've let others dictate what you should want. That perky blonde certainly has gone to great lengths to help you, more than anyone else. It seems to me she's drawing the short stick here."

"Bailey, don't you get it? Every relationship I touch goes bad. George. Erica. You don't even know about Emmeline or those poor children I was supposed to help in Bata. I'm bad karma. And it's not like I outright dumped her. I just told her I need some space and time alone."

Bailey stood as tall as she was able, placing her hands on her hips. "What you are doing is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. And this self-deprecating attitude has got to stop now. Sure, you've had some bad luck. But you are part of the problem because you have never gone after what you wanted. You are in the habit of accommodating other people's wishes, including your parents. There comes a point when you need to put yourself first. I do know a thing or two about love. If you think this Arkansas-

"-Arizona," Callie interrupted.

"Right," Bailey replied. "If you think this Arizona is the one, then don't shut her out."

Callie shrugged. "I need to try to sort this out on my own. Then I'll make things right with Arizona."

"What if you need Arizona to help you sort it out?"

"Seriously, Bailey? Haven't you heard a thing I've said? I think I know what I can and can't handle at this stage. I won't risk hurting anyone else," Callie curtly explained, "and that means I try to do this without Arizona. Okay?"

Bailey put both hands up defensively, clearly touching a sensitive spot for Callie, "Alright. But you, Callie Torres, can be so pigheaded sometimes. I'll stop harping on this for now. But I think you're underestimating one Arizona Robbins."

"Maybe. But allow me time to regroup and regain some control, please. These last couple days have given me a lot to think about. Maybe it's just the exhaustion. Miami sun has always rejuvenated me. It could be all I need, just a few days of sunshine," Callie justified, "and perhaps I can see things more clearly."

* * *

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* * *

Callie turned on the car radio, blasting the music. It was a desperate attempt to think of anything but the sadness consuming her as she drove out of the hospital parking lot into the dusk. Her knuckles gripped the steering wheel as she zoomed on the freeway, heading for the airport. She never loosened her hold until put she placed the car in park at the LAX Airport car rental location.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, did you fill 'er up with gas?" the young attendant asked.

Callie remembered she drove in on fumes; the tank was almost empty. "No, just charge me. I'm in a hurry," Callie said to the young man without looking up as she distractedly scrolled on her phone, searching for flights.

"Ma'am, I need to tell you that there is an extra charge for dropping it off at a different place than where you originally picked it up," he dutifully explained.

"I said I'm in a hurry. Just charge me. And stop calling me Ma'am, do I look eighty or something?" she yelped as her eyes bore into the attendant.

"Yes, Ma'am," the young man said, regretting the words the moment he uttered them. Callie's icy glare kept the attendant silent for the remainder of the check-in process.

Once inside, Callie scanned the departure board, trying to figure out which airline had the next flight departing for Miami. She located one leaving in forty-five minutes. She rushed to the airline's counter to purchase a ticket.

"Do you have any seats left on the flight to Miami leaving at 7:58pm?" she hurriedly asked.

The agent looked at his screen, "We do."

"I'd like a first class ticket, please," Callie requested.

"Round-trip or one way. Honestly, it's not much more if you buy the round trip," he suggested.

Callie pondered his words not even a second, "One way, please," she quickly decided.

The flight to Miami was long. She was tired, very tired. She hadn't slept much since she arrived in Los Angeles, or in the last few months for that matter. When she was working in Africa, she was out straight between the soccer team, the hospital and the clinic. Then there was her stint in jail, followed by Paris, Miami, LA and now back to Miami. Callie was beyond exhausted. As much as she wanted to, she refused to shut her eyes, fearing she might cause an in-flight incident.

Her thoughts instinctively drifted back to Arizona. It was her happy place. She smiled when she recalled her time in LA. Her first few nights were...awesome. But the last two nights...She moved uncomfortably in her seat as she felt imaginary hands reach from behind. She hated not knowing. She hated the fear growing within her of the faceless assailants. It made her cold and callous. She hated being plagued by fear, so much that she had no space in her head or heart for anyone. As the wheels touched down in Miami, she scooted to the exit. Relief filled her as she exited the claustrophobic plane.

Leaving the airport, Callie debated whether to go to her parents' house or just grab a hotel room for the night. She couldn't avoid her parents forever. At least at this hour, they would most likely be sleeping, allowing her a stress-free entrance. Upon her return from Africa, her father gave her a new key and the most recent security code. Plus, the help all knew her; they wouldn't mistake her for a trespasser. She hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of her parents' estate.

The taxi pulled to the gate at 3:45am. She greeted the familiar guard, "Hi Robert."

The man was surprised and nervous seeing her. "Miss Callie, it's the middle of the night. Too late for you to be out all alone, arriving at this hour."

Callie smiled, "No worries. I'm good, Robert. I ended up taking the redeye from LA. I wasn't all alone, I had the cab driver to keep an eye on me," she said.

Robert, clearly upset by her unplanned arrival, voiced his concerns, "Your father will not be happy to hear you took a taxi. He would have sent a driver. You should have called. I would have picked you up. He will not be happy," the loyal guard reiterated.

Callie nodded her head in acknowledgment. "I know. We both know what my father is like. My plans changed last minute. I'll handle my father. Thank you for caring enough to worry, Robert." She left him with a wink and the taxi was allowed to pass through the gate, dropping Callie off at the front door.

Callie entered the large house. It was quiet, only a few small lights remained on, enough to keep the hallways illuminated. She was relieved to be home, but that wasn't to say she didn't miss Arizona. She thought of calling her. The idea taunted her, begging her to find the beloved woman in her contacts and press the phone number. Callie couldn't cave. She was barely holding it together. Hearing Arizona's voice would make her crumble. Callie needed every ounce of strength to fight for her own well-being. Callie was determined to maintain her resolve - no further contact until she had a handle on all this. She would not add anyone else into her life until she had a plan on how to put herself back together.

Callie couldn't help but chuckle when she thought back to being called Mary Poppins. No one had ever made that comparison before. As much as she felt more like a witch at the moment, at least she wasn't accused of being Almira Gulch, riding out of town on a bike or a broomstick. Callie knew she lacked some of the eclectic character's traits, like Mary Poppins' prim and proper personality. She was certain Mary Poppins wasn't in the habit of swearing like a truck driver on occasion either, but if she did help Arizona's family heal some, then she didn't mind the analogy.

Entering her childhood bedroom, Callie headed straight for the adjoining bathroom. She desperately wanted a shower, needing to wash away reminders of the day. She donned a pair of pajamas found neatly folded in her bureau drawer. Before crawling into bed, she took the sleeping pill prescribed by Dr. Martin, craving undisturbed sleep.

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It was afternoon when Callie finally made her way to the kitchen. "Miss Callie, so good to see you," the cook said as she pulled Callie into a warm embrace. Anna had cooked for the family for years. She was an older woman, a bit plump, and very energetic. Her specialty was Mexican dishes, which was why the family hired her in the first place. Her wonderful demeanor kept her employed for years. Raising her eyebrows, she added, "Your mother was surprised to hear you arrived in the middle of the night...without letting her know," Anna shared.

"I guess I better pay my respects, huh?" Callie reluctantly noted.

"You have some time. She told me to tell you she would be back by four, plenty of time for you to eat a good meal. You slept through breakfast and lunch. You have some catching up to do, my dear. Go sit in the dining room, I'll bring you your coffee."

"Anna, you already know I hate sitting at that monstrous table alone. Unless you plan on joining me, I'm going to sit right here, in the kitchen, and keep bothering you," Callie playfully declared.

Anna smiled, enjoying the normal banter revolving around Callie's habit of eating in the kitchen. "You're never a bother. Here you go," she said as she placed a cup of coffee on the kitchen table.

Callie savored each sip of the strong brew, trying to shake the lethargy in her system from the potent sleeping pill. The next thing Callie knew, a Spanish omelet was sitting before here, with toast and fruit on the side. "Thank you, Anna. This looks delicious."

Callie decided to enjoy the afternoon sun and put her bikini on, lounging poolside. She knew her mother would seek her out when she returned. It was a conversation she was not eager to have. Her mother didn't quite understand her. Though Callie never doubted her mother's love for her, they just saw life differently. They always had.

Callie opened her eyes as she felt the warmth of the sun disappear, presumably behind a cloud. Looming overhead was Lucia Torres. "Hi, Mom," Callie said as she popped up to greet her mother properly.

"Mija." Lucia kissed Callie on the cheek, linking her arm with Callie's. "Calliope, dear, I didn't expect you back so soon. Let's have a cold drink and you can tell me about your trip," her mother firmly suggested, code for ' _we need to talk'._

Callie threw her shift on and followed her mother to the veranda. Anna soon arrived with two tall glasses of refreshing ice tea. "How was your trip? Did it not go well with your friend? You're back rather quickly," Lucia pointedly questioned.

"Her name is Arizona. She is well, very well," Callie replied. Lucia furrowed her brows in displeasure.

Callie did not let her mother's reaction fluster her. She reached across the table and took her mother's hand in hers, sharing, "Mom, I know in your wishful thinking you hoped my early return was the result of things not panning out."

Callie sighed, "And I know this is not what you envisioned for me - a life where I fall in love with a woman instead of a man. Truly, I don't know where this relationship with Arizona is going. I know where I would like it to go. I'm a people person, Mom. You've always known that about me. Social standing means nothing to me. You hate that I choose to eat in the kitchen with Anna or any of the staff and not in the dining room or I've had a fling with the Jimmy, the very hot gardener who used to work here. I know it's hard for you to accept I can love a man or a woman. It's what's inside a person that attracts me most, not their status, or race or gender."

Lucia held her hand up, halting her daughter's soapbox speech. "You certainly didn't complain about your social status when your father secured your release from that awful third world jail." Lucia saw Callie's eyes well.

"Mom, do we-"

Pangs of sadness filled Lucia; she immediately regretted her harsh words. She loved her daughter, but she just couldn't come to terms with her lifestyle choices. Lucia rebuked herself. She needed to soften her approach before Calliope left again. Her husband would not be as understanding of his wife if she drove Calliope away a second time.

"-Enough, I get it," Lucia conceded. "We've had this conversation before...I was just wondering, since you returned rather abruptly and without notice. You know your father was not happy to learn you took a taxi last night from the airport. He doesn't hire all these people for you to take a cab."

 _'Nice segue, Mom,_ Callie thought, ' _make this about Dad now'._ Callie dolefully replied, "I know, Robert already scolded me. Sorry, Mom."

Lucia stared at her daughter's troubled expression. Normally, her daughter was feisty, unafraid to challenge her. Yet Callie sat there, accepting her mother's lashings. Something was not quite right. "Calliope, why the sudden return? I know you weren't sure on the length of the trip, but you did say not to expect you before next weekend."

Callie stiffened at the question. A long pause rested between the two. Callie stood and started pacing about the veranda. "Remember the nightmares I mentioned I was having before I returned?"

"What about them?" Lucia brusquely questioned.

"I thought they were gone, but they aren't. Well...," Callie pursed her lips as she formulated her answer. "I'm having some unnerving recollections. I may have blocked out some difficult, scary things...from Africa," Callie cautiously explained.

Lucia stood straight up. "What are you saying?" Once her eyes met Callie's, Lucia's sixth sense panicked.

"I may have been attacked in prison," Callie confided softly. Lucia gasped upon hearing the words. Callie held her hand up, stopping her mother from speaking. Callie only had the energy to say it aloud once and letting her mother butt in with one of her self-righteous diatribes would break her. "Yesterday, I went to see a friend at LA General. I had a pregnancy test and was tested for HIV and other STDs." Callie dropped her hand, allowing her mother to speak whatever words the older woman was holding at bay.

Lucia stood, grappling with her daughter's bombshell. "Are you-"

Lucia was not able to get the words out before Callie interrupted, "- I'm not pregnant. I don't know yet about the STDs, I don't think..." Callie choked on her words. "The first HIV test was negative-"

"Thank God," Lucia blurted. "Calliope," her mother gasped loudly.

"Mom, don't overreact," Callie insisted, unsure how to manage her presently emotional mother, a woman who had been a virtual stranger these last few years.

The normally stoic Lucia Torres was beside herself, "Don't overreact! You are telling you might have been raped, that you might have contracted some vile disease and you tell me not to overreact!"

"Mom, I don't know what happened. Maybe nothing happened. I vaguely remember something, but the memory is incomplete. As time goes on, new pieces show up. That's what happened with Arizona. I apparently was fighting someone off in a dream, and I ended up hurting her. The following night, during another nightmare, I remembered a man, actually two men. The memory stops there. It's why I left - I don't trust myself." Callie sat back down, grabbing her glass, needing a cold drink to soothe her throat.

Lucia Torres stood dumbfounded. One of the few things in her life she could not control was her daughter, Calliope. For years, along with her husband, Lucia was able to undo and fix the inappropriate actions of their spirited daughter. But this...there was no undoing what may have been done in Africa. Carlos may have been able to get their beautiful daughter out of jail and away from that despicable creature, but this...there was no undoing this. The older woman finally spoke, "I don't know what to say." Her words were pained and vulnerable.

Callie rose from her chair and approached her mother, hugging her, "Mom, you don't have to say anything or do anything. Just support me. I'm a big girl now and this is mine to sort out. I've seen a very good doctor, one of the best in her field. I'm going to make arrangements to see a therapist to see if I can get to the bottom of this. Just be here for me. Please."

"I have some names-" Lucia volunteered.

"-I've got this, Mom. I really do. The doctor in LA gave me some names of counselors in Miami who specialize in this kind of thing. I'm not happy about it. I cried almost the whole day yesterday. At the moment, my life is just one more disaster."

Callie turned away from her mother and looked up, as if she was speaking to the sky instead of her mother, unwilling to see her mother's reaction to her words. "I walked away from the one person who totally gets me and who loves me for me. Hopefully, our separation is just temporary. I'm relieved not to have tested positive for HIV or to be pregnant. One day we want children, but not like-"

Lucia's jaw dropped. "-Children? You want children...and with that woman?" It never occurred to Lucia her unmarried daughter would ever bring children into her life but to do that with another woman - it was immoral and unthinkable.

Here was the mother Callie knew. She shook her head at her mother's ignorant and prehistoric thinking. Sadly, Callie was unsurprised by her mother's comments. She turned about and glared at the older woman. "Mom, it's the twenty-first century. Times have changed whether you like it or not. Yes, I plan to be a mother, but only if I can put this horrific mess behind me."

Callie's thoughts again drifted to Arizona, and her tearful reconsideration. Arizona said she changed her mind about kids, which made Callie's heart swell, but it was also irrelevant if their relationship couldn't survive this nightmare of a hurdle.

Remembering Bailey's admonishments about her habit of placating her parents, Callie stated with determination, "If I have children, they may have two mothers." Seeing her mother's horrified expression, Callie firmly added, "It's going to be your choice whether or not you and Dad want to be a part of my life and extensionally theirs."

Callie looked at her mother. She suspected the older woman was stewing over her next comments. Callie's disclosure had left her mother speechless. Before their conversation became anymore heated, Callie opted to take the high-road. "Look Mom, this parenthood conversation is truly premature. Seriously, it's the least of my problems at the moment. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. Last night I was given a sleeping pill to knock me out before I turn into basket case from insomnia. I can't have anyone in my life that I could risk hurting, which means a girlfriend and children are not even on my radar. At this point, I just need to wait for all the test results. I pray for them all to be negative. The doctor is optimistic so far. I just want be whole again, if that's even possible."

Staring at her mother, Callie softened her approach. She loved her mother despite Lucia's warped perspective. "Your love and support would really help," she added.

Lucia dejectedly nodded, "Calliope, I may not understand you. I may not agree with you. But I will always love you, though I'm sure you doubt that. I will support you as best as I am able...Perhaps time will benefit both of us."

It wasn't exactly a win, but the conversation with her mother certainly went better than she anticipated. They were still talking. No threats were made or ultimatums given. It was an improvement. Callie accepted the fragile truce. She hoped the conversation with her father would go as smoothly. She knew her mother would grab his ear the moment he walked through the door. She would just wait and see what dinner included.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Continued thanks to Cycworker for her beta efforts. My appreciation to all of you who continue to read.

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 **Chapter 5**

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Daniel opened the back door, entered the kitchen and poured himself a glass of juice. Barbara sat at the kitchen table drinking her morning coffee while reading the newspaper. Seeing her husband enter the house alone she asked with concern, "Where's Arizona?"

Daniel frowned. "She's not here?" he gruffly inquired. Barbara shook her head, clearly concerned.

"Damnit!" he barked as he slapped the counter, knowing the events of the previous day resulted in his daughter mimicking Houdini with Arizona reverting to her disappearing act. "This whole girlfriend thing came on too fast. Of course, Arizona just has to save the world. I never thought I'd say this, but it was a helluva lot easier when she just had all those flings, a new flavor every month."

Barbara stood, shaking her head in anger. "Daniel Robbins - you listen to me good. Had you'd bother to pay attention, you would know that those _women_ were just placeholders - each a nice person with a warm body so our daughter didn't feel so lonely. Arizona didn't care one iota about any of them as far as her heart was concerned. But Callie? Callie is different. Don't you see what she does to our daughter? Arizona radiates in her presence. And Callie adores our daughter."

Daniel dropped into the chair. His wife's stony glare eroded his rugged emotions. Barbara proclaimed, "I won't have you discourage Arizona from loving someone because she might risk a broken heart. Love is all about the risks because in the end it can be worth it. I wouldn't trade one minute I had with Tim, even if it wasn't enough. And you, you are worth it, even if you are a big lug sometimes," she added with a warm smile.

Daniel humbly grinned. "I know you're right. But it doesn't make a damn bit of difference if this Callie deserts her. I don't want to see Arizona suffer again," he honestly shared. "She's almost over Tim's death."

Barbara walked behind her husband and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. "Honey, none of us are ever going to truly _'get over'_ Tim's loss. Do we really want Arizona to go through life avoiding relationships or love because something terrible might happen? Anyhow, Cupid's arrow has already been shot. It's not a question of if. It's a question of when. Our job is to help Arizona get through the waiting until Callie sorts things out. Come on now, tell me one woman who Arizona's dated that even holds a candle to Callie?"

Daniel shrugged his shoulders and grumbled, "None."

Barbara smirked, "I'll feed you, but then you go track her down. Talk to her. I'm the nagging mother. You get to be the understanding dad. Callie's only been gone twenty-four hours; this is still raw and painful for Arizona. She needs your love and support."

Daniel mumbled something resembling ' _Fine'._

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Two hours later Daniel found Arizona in the same spot he found her yesterday. He handed her a bottle of water.

She looked at him with her bloodshot eyes, accepting the bottle. "I don't want to talk about it," she bitingly said before Daniel could utter one syllable.

"Good, neither do I," Daniel responded nonchalantly. "Let's see how out of shape you really are. Can you beat your old man up Magoo's Mountain?" her father asked as he extended his hand. It was a mile high trail of rugged and rocky terrain. It was worth every sweaty, torturous step. Once there, the views were spectacular.

Arizona returned a smug smile and offered a ' _you've got to be kidding_ ' look. Reaching up to grip her father's hand, she hoisted herself up. "Let's go old man. Catch me if you can." She turned and started sprinting up the trail.

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Callie entered the dining room precisely at seven-thirty pm. Her parents were already sitting. Carlos stood when his daughter walked in. "Mija, so good to see you," he said pulling her into a secure hug and kissing her cheek. Her father's compassionate expression confirmed he knew the backstory on her early return. Without a doubt, her mother fully informed her father of their conversation on the veranda.

In typical Torres fashion, neither of her parents were about to broach the controversial subject over the evening meal. Callie strode in, knowing she could enjoy Anna's delicious meal in peace because good manners called for conversation to be light and pleasant. Etiquette suggested guests stick with topics like food, music, or even fashion. Weird dreams, jailbird anecdotes and discussing her violation of her parents' precious religious beliefs were not main course conversation.

Callie couldn't help but smile upon seeing her father beam at her entrance. She was always his little girl, even when she drove him crazy - which happened more often than not. She certainly kept him on his toes over the years. This year was no exception.

"Daddy." She immediately hugged her father, unquestionably overjoyed to see him again. She made sure to greet her mother, too. "Hi Mom," she said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

Carlos dominated the conversation over the scrumptious meal, talking about his day, sharing with Callie the progress of his new hotel in Bata and the few minor headaches at work he was managing. Lucia explained her most recent social cause, a literacy initiative to improve the reading level of inner city children. The lull in the conversation finally came as coffee and dessert were served. The meal was done. It was Callie's turn to share.

Her parents' probing eyes explained the expectations. Now was her moment to speak. They wanted to hear what was going on in her life. She already knew her abrupt return raised their eyebrows and more of an explanation was expected. Dreading the forthcoming conversation, she inquired, "What do you want to hear about first, what's making me happy or what's making me sad?" It was a question bitterly posed. Either topic was going to lead to an uncomfortable conversation.

"Mija," her father responded. "We love you. You know that. How is your girlfriend, Ariz-"

"-Carlos!" Lucia rebuked her husband.

"What, Lucia? I can't ask my daughter about her trip?" Carlos snapped.

"That you can do. But can we just leave it at that?" Callie's mother sternly requested.

Carlos knew what the issue was. It placed him in an untenable spot. He stared intently at his wife, "Call the woman what you want, Lucia. It won't change a thing. We both know they aren't just friends. This Arizona is certainly better than that O'Malley fellow. He wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to help her."

He struck a raw nerve with Lucia. The conversation continued as if Callie was invisible. Lucia stiffened, caustically replying, "She wouldn't have even been in Africa if she stayed with George. She would have been married, a mother, home safe and sound. Who knows, maybe George would still be alive."

Callie's eyeballs all but popped from their sockets. "I can't do this anymore," Callie angrily barked, storming from the dining room. It was a low blow, a new level of blame for her mother, laying George's death on her.

Carlos was mortified. "Lucia, was that necessary? We both know George had an unfortunate accident. To imply Calliope could have prevented his death had she not divorced him is idiotic!" Carlos angrily replied.

Lucia hung her head, ashamed, "I know, I know. I didn't mea...It's just...I don't understand. I don't know my own daughter," she confessed.

Carlos softened. He initially struggled with Calliope's choices as well, but her obvious happiness helped him understand. "I know this is hard for you to accept. But I want my daughter alive and in my life. You might be happier if she stayed married to that cheating bastard, but Calliope wouldn't be. Talk about diseases, she could just as easily contract something from a philandering husband. At least this Arizona woman is a decent person. Look at our Calliope, didn't you see how happy she was when she spoke of her. Doesn't she deserve to be happy? Who are we to deny her that?" Carlos asked.

"It's not what God-" Lucia challenged.

"She just went through Hell. Are you saying that's God's plan?" Carlos forcefully demanded. Why couldn't his wife see things from his perspective?

Lucia knew she risked alienating her husband, a risk she couldn't afford to take. Carlos warned her before not to make him choose between mother and daughter. He told her he was no Abraham, loving Calliope too much to sacrifice her in God's name. If Lucia ostracized Calliope one more time, it would devastate him. Furthermore, Carlos refused to accept all those sanctimonious rules were truly from God's mouth.

Lucia hung her head, accepting the reprimands, "You're right, Carlos. I know that. We'll lose her for good next time. But her ideas are...wrong. She told me today if she can sort out this mess that she's planning on having children someday with that woman, did you know that? Carlos, this isn't what the Church accepts," Lucia reminded her husband.

He hated being caught in the middle, yet he was. Carlos' eyes bore into his wife. Her inflexibility was pushing him to his limits, "Well maybe it's time it did. The one word that repeats in the bible, over and over, is love." Carlos slammed his fist down on the table "If you love her, dammit, then accept her!" He stood and left the room.

In all their years of marriage, he rarely fought with his wife. The few arguments they shared often were spurred on by their free-spirited daughter, who certainly lived outside the status quo, never content with the privileged life his professional success afforded her. In the past, he refused to choose between his wife and daughter; he loved them both. Had the time finally arrived where a choice was necessary?

Carlos knew where to find his daughter. She would be outside, watching the moon and stars. He saw her silhouette in the distance, by the rose bushes. Callie sensed her father's presence as he drew near. She spoke sharply, "Don't come here to make excuses for her. Putting George's death on me? _**Really?**_ That's a new low for her."

"It wasn't right. We both know your mother speaks her mind without thinking through the consequences." He paused a moment, reminding his daughter, "I know someone else like that." Carlos smugly smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Callie stood, unwavering. "Yes, she spoke without thinking. Change is hard for her. It was hard for me, too at first," he said, as he placed him hand on her shoulder. "Give her some time, Mija."

Callie turned to face her father. "She can have all the time she needs. I'm leaving in the morning," she angrily replied.

"Calliope..."

"Don't, Dad. It will be easier this way," she justified.

Carlos put his hands into his pants pockets and shrugged, "Easier for whom? Not you. Not me. Not even for your mother. You're running away again. You don't need to leave. Your mother has said her piece. She will now pretend the situation doesn't exist by avoiding the issue. Where do you plan on going? This is your home, Calliope, for as long as you need one. It's a big house. It's very easy to dodge someone here if one wants." He paused, adding, "If I recall, you used to be quite good at that." Carlos smirked.

Her father's comment could not help but bring a smile to Callie's face as she thought back to her wild teenage years. She was certain her father lost most of his hair because of it.

Carlos pleaded, "Please don't leave just yet. I know you won't be here long. I don't expect to see you settle down here, in Miami. Something tells me the West Coast still holds your interest." He raised his eyebrows, emphasizing his hypothesis. "Give me a little longer to enjoy you. Please, Mija. I know you have some challenges ahead. While you sort those out, let me be here to help."

Callie quietly considered his words. She never could deny her father. She didn't have anywhere else to go. "Okay Daddy. I'll stay a little longer. But if Mom gets to be too much, I'm leaving."

He drew his daughter into a hug, having mended a break in the family bridge. "Fair enough. Just give your mother another chance, please. She's trying," he requested.

Callie whispered, "Okay" as she held him tight.

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	6. Chapter 6

****A/N:**** My appreciation to Cycworker for her patient beta efforts. Mistakes are mine. I'm always changing things at the last minute. Thank you to those who continue to read.

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 **Chapter 6  
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Callie lingered outside after the conversation with her father. Once the cool night air settled in, she ventured back inside the now quiet house. Seeking a distraction from the evening's turmoil, she stopped by her parents' library. Her father tended to read biographies of successful males. Her mother liked classical literature. Callie preferred a dicey mystery. Not much on the shelves grabbed her attention, but she spied a copy of _Sense and Sensibility._ She read it years ago in college, during her party years, which meant she probably didn't read it at all. Why not, she thought as she pulled the hardcover book from the shelf.

Walking back to her bedroom, Callie stared at the book jacket, wondering what part of her present life made any _sense._ Yesterday, she was in LA, today in Miami, what would tomorrow bring? Her _sensibilities_ were running rampant; she prayed it all circled back to Arizona.

In hindsight, Callie acknowledged she should have told Arizona why she left. With the scant details still unraveling, exactly what should she have said? Her mind revealed vague outrage and horror. Until she understood the depth of it, she was not burdening Arizona with her drama. Callie remained resolute, standing by her decision to leave and she had no regrets in doing so. When and if Arizona returned to her life, it would be as her partner, her lover, her soulmate. Not as a caretaker or therapist - which was what Callie apparently needed at present. Callie's only regret was in not explaining why she fled. Arizona deserved her honesty.

Callie opened her pocketbook and pulled out her phone. Locating Arizona's number, she wondered what she should say if Arizona actually answered. The call went immediately to voicemail, where she was advised the voice mailbox was full - still. Arizona must not have returned to her apartment yet. Her sole consolation was Arizona probably wasn't alone, and most likely remained with her parents. Callie shut off her cell, justifying it wasn't to be.

Preparing for bed, Callie couldn't shake the guilt of leaving Arizona without sharing the reasons behind her abrupt departure. Feeling the need to atone, Callie sat down at the desk and pulled out some stationary.

 _ **Dear Arizona,**_

 _ **Hello. It's me.**_

Callie crumpled the paper and tossed it in the bin. Those words sounded a lot better coming from Adele, she thought. How sincere would she be viewed if her letter was nothing more than plagiarized lyrics?

She opened the desk drawer and pulled out a clean sheet.

 _ **Arizona,**_

 _ **I tried to call you, but no luck. I'm hoping you're still with your parents and that you are okay. Me? I'm holding it together, barely. I wanted you to know why I ran back to Miami. Since I couldn't leave you a voice message, writing you this letter seemed to be the next best option. You really should clean out that mailbox :-P!**_

 _ **You know about the nightmares, but you don't know why I am having them. Actually, I don't know exactly why either. That night, at your house, I figured out something happened at the jail, but I don't know exactly what. Maybe nothing happened. But, there's a possibility I was**_

Callie paused a moment, struggling with her next word.

 _ **attacked. I had a pregnancy test. It was negative. So was the rapid HIV. I'm still waiting on a few more test results, results you are entitled to know about. I promise to get them to you.**_

 _ **This must be a lot for you to take in. When I told your dad I had some baggage, I didn't realize how much. Please, I beg you; allow me some time to sort this out on my own. I know you'd help me in a heartbeat, but I need to do this in my own way. I've told my father, at least for now, I would stay in Miami while I try to recover. Please understand, I can't have you here. The stress my mother would inflict would truly destroy me. Tonight, she almost succeeded.**_

 _ **Arizona, you are an amazing person. I'm so lucky to have met you. Whatever happens, know I will never forget you and I will be eternally grateful for having you in my life, even if it's not forever. Reading this, you must think I've given up on us. I'm trying not to. I'm scared. Scared I won't bounce back from this. Scared I'll be a different person - one I don't like very much. Scared all this baggage is too much for you to handle.**_

 _ **There is nothing I want more than to be with you. You are the best thing to happen to me. I pray this works out for us.**_

Callie paused, trying to decide how to close out the letter. She wanted more than anything to tell Arizona she loved her, but what if her life continued to spiral out of control? Callie put the pen to paper and signed the letter.

 _ **Always, Callie**_

After sealing the envelope and addressing it, Callie popped a sleeping pill, crawled under the covers and started to read, hoping the combination, along with her clearer conscious, would lead to a much needed sound sleep.

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A sluggish Callie meandered to the kitchen in search of Anna, coffee and food. Again, she slept through breakfast and lunch. "Anna, where do I put the outgoing mail?" she asked with a big yawn as she held up the envelope.

"I'll take it," the cook brusquely offered as she took the letter, tucking it in her apron.

"Are you sure it's not a bother?" Callie asked, observing that Anna seemed put-off.

Anna waved her hand, dismissing the younger woman's concerns. Anna started to say something, but thought better of it and turned her attention back to the pot on the stove.

"Anna, what is it? What's bothering you?"

Pausing a moment, Anna finally responded. "You didn't like the meal I served you last night, Miss Callie?" the cook asked dejectedly. "You know, you can always tell me," the older woman reminded her young friend. Her words were spoken in earnest.

Callie looked at her strangely, unsure at what Anna was getting at. Sure, she ended up with some indigestion after last night's dinner, but it had nothing to do with the food, just the company. "Anna, your cooking is the best. I ate everything you served last night. What makes you think I didn't like last night's dinner?"

The older woman pursed her lips. "Last night…..you mentioned...you said to Robert you were ravenous, joining him for a snack in the kitchen," Anna warily explained.

"Me, ravenous? Maybe Robert has a new girlfriend he snuck in. It wasn't me," Callie replied jokingly. Anna furrowed her brows. They both knew Robert was far too loyal to sneak anyone in.

Callie observed the expression on the woman's face. She knew that look. Anna was serious. "What? Not possible, not after the meal you served. I was in bed by 9pm, reading. He's mistaken." Callie shook her head. "This is the first I've left my room," she argued.

Anna stared at her beloved brunette. Robert was clear; he ate with Miss Callie around midnight. Something did not make sense. Anna shrugged, "Okay, Miss Callie. But if you don't like something, you'll let me know, right?" Anna warmly asked.

Callie clenched her jaw. Anna did not believe her. Was she now losing time? Last night she was in bed with a book. Surely, she would remember if she got up to eat. But Anna and Robert have known her for years; they don't make mistakes. "You don't believe me," Callie nervously stated.

Anna nodded. "Of course I believe you."

"But you also believe Robert," Callie whispered.

Seeing Callie's panicked reaction, Anna shook her head, anxious to change the subject, "Let's not worry about that anymore. Tonight, I'll make your favorite. Sit down, Miss Callie. Here's your coffee," she said as she gently guided Callie to the chair.

Callie sat, uneasily drinking her coffee. She needed help, fast. This uncertainty needed to stop. How could today be worse than yesterday? She was now missing time. It gnawed at her. Desperate for answers, Callie found the card from Dr. Martin and dialed the first therapist on the list. An appointment was scheduled in two days' time. All she could do was wait.

Callie was glad she wrote Arizona. Calling Arizona now was tantamount to stringing the woman along. Last night's incident firmed her resolve. What would she say, especially after last night, "Hello, how are you? Guess what? I'm not just violent, I'm crazy, too!" It was good she gave the two some space in light of the new developments. Callie was getting more paranoid by the day. Needing a change in scenery, she decided to take a ride.

As she headed out the front door she ran into her mother, who also was on her way out. "Calliope..." Lucia nervously said. Her mother's tone was heavy with misgivings.

"Hi Mom," Callie replied dryly. This was the last person she wanted to talk to.

A momentary stalemate was in effect, neither one confident of her next move. Lucia spoke first, "I'm heading downtown, to one of the elementary schools. It's the first week of our program there; I want to see how it's going and I need to meet with the coordinator. Care to join me? I'd love the company," Lucia cautiously asked. She had no right to ask anything from her daughter at this point; she knew that. But, her daughter was remarkably forgiving, to a fault. She hoped it still held true.

Callie pondered her mother's request a moment, finally responding, "Sure." She had nothing planned. The change in scenery might be helpful and her mother seemed rather mellow at the moment.

Callie followed her mother out the door, sitting in the passenger seat of the Mercedes Benz. Lucia sat motionless in the driver's seat. Her hands remained folded in her lap. Callie observed her mother, intrigued by her lack of action. Finally, she probed, "Mom?"

Lucia turned to look at her daughter, "It was wrong of me to speak to you the way I did last night. I'm sorry. George had an unfortunate accident. There was nothing any of us could have done to prevent it. He wasn't a good husband to you," Lucia acknowledged.

Callie nodded, wishing she could forgive her mother readily, but she couldn't.

Lucia pushed the button, starting the car and the two drove off. Classical music streamed through the car, making the obvious lack of conversation less awkward.

At the school, Callie wandered through the halls with her mother, peeking in on the various groups. In one room, she noticed a taxed volunteer being put through the wringer by a group of boisterous young boys, to cool for this reading club. "I think I'm going hang out here," Callie said.

Lucia looked at her daughter questioningly, "Calliope, are you sure?" The youngsters were a challenging lot; their tough guy personas masked any eagerness to learn. Participation was required by the school. They made sure anyone assigned to them knew they were disgruntled. "I'm good," she replied. Her mother left her behind, heading to her meeting.

Callie spied the group. The volunteer was now focused on sorting out an issue with a handful of girls. A mysterious visitor entering the room left the students momentarily quiet as they sized Callie up. When she said nothing, they returned to playing keep away with the snacks. Apples and oranges went airborne, jetting back and forth across the room, occasionally landing with a splat to the floor. Callie's eyes went wide in amazement at the waste and disregard for the food provided. She knew she had one chance grab their interest. Without saying a word, she took out a ten dollar bill from her wallet. Grabbing a pair of scissors from a nearby desk, she stood in eyeshot of the group, cutting the bill up slowly, into tiny pieces. The group stared at her incredulously. The ten dollars was now confetti.

 _"Are you_ _ **crazy**_ _lady?"_ one youngster asked.

"Why are you doing that?" the one beside him exclaimed.

Another challenged, "Isn't wrecking money illegal?" At least they were paying attention, Callie thought. Having gotten their attention, she collected the pieces.

"It's not illegal. I have no plans to use this money to purchase anything. I'm just going to throw it away." Walking over to the trashcan, she sprinkled the tiny pieces into the barrel.

One of the young ring leaders called out, "You're nuts."

" _I might be,"_ Callie silently said to herself as she leaned over to pick up a squishy apple from the floor and dropping into the trash. "I don't see how my actions are any different than yours," she declared aloud with authority.

The boy glared at her, then shrugged. "Why do you care anyway? Did you buy the apples?" He stared long and hard at her, challenging her to answer.

"No, not me personally. But someone paid for them. I just returned from Africa. Fresh fruit is like gold there. It makes me angry to know my friends there don't have enough food for three meals a day and you're here wasting it." She held his gaze. His guilt kicked in and his eyes dropped to the floor.

"Why don't you boys help me clean this up? Tell me about school here," she asked.

"Did you see any lions on Africa?" one little boy asked as he tugged at her pant leg.

Callie laughed, "I didn't, but I did see some scary looking snakes." She didn't mention they were dead and an option for dinner.

Lucia peered in an hour later and watched her daughter hold the group of supposed ruffians spellbound with her animated storytelling. When it was time to go, Callie was draped in children, begging her to return next week. "Maybe," she truthfully answered. She had no idea what tomorrow would bring, never mind next week.

The return trip to the Torres estate was quiet at first. Mother and daughter cleared some of the air, but harbored emotions kept both on edge. "Calliope, you were very good today. You certainly have a way with children."

She forced a laugh at her mother's observation, as if it was some kind of sick joke to her. "I guess I relate to challenging youths - takes one to know one, right?"

"Calliope, that's not what I meant. Children gravitate to you." Callie rolled her eyeballs at her mother's lame effort at understanding.

"What are you implying, Mom? Just volunteer for the rest of my life in order to satisfy my motherly instincts. Is that what you're getting at? Seriously?"

Lucia saw her olive branch pushed away. "I'm not inferring anything. It was meant to be a compliment, nothing more." The older woman shook her head and sighed. "I'm trying here," Lucia sincerely said, knowing it was hard to ignore her own homophobic views. "You're asking me to disregard beliefs ingrained in me for years. This is not how I envisioned your life. It's going to take some time for me to see things differently. I've changed, not as much as your father, but I have changed. Allow me some time, please."

Callie nodded, unsure what to say, so she chose silence. She wasn't prepared to turn her back on her family, they were her foundation - whether she liked it or not. She wasn't prepared to turn her back on her future, either. At the moment she waited in limbo. She leaned back, placing her head on the headrest and let her mother drive her home, neither one breaking the quietude.

* * *

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* * *

Arizona walked into the kitchen, still panting. She was all hot and sweaty, having just run five miles. Not her best time, but it was respectable considering she was just getting back into it. Stopping at the sink, she pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water from the tap, greedily gulping.

"Oh, honey, you're back," Barbara called out reassuringly. Her mother, who was sitting in the other room reading a magazine, was keeping close tabs on her. "How was it?"

"Awesome. It's so pretty. Those trails never get old," Arizona cheerily responded.

Barbara Robbins walked into the kitchen. "Well, it's nice to see you smiling again," her mother observed. Just like that, the smile vanished. Her mother's words served as a reminder to Arizona why her smiles were scarce. "Arizona, dear, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

Arizona shook her head, replying, "You didn't, really. It's getting easier. I hoped to hear from Calliope, but of course, how would I? I don't have my phone...I didn't think I would need it. I'm trying to see this from her perspective, but it just doesn't make sense. We are supposed to help each other out, in good and bad. I thought I meant something more to her."

Barbara offered a sympathetic smile, trying to support her daughter while not undermining Callie's wishes. She liked Callie. She liked how Arizona shined in her company. But she also saw the terror in Callie's eyes. Callie Torres had some demons to shake and she needed to do it in her own manner, despite conventional wisdom. Her years of living in the military community taught her reactions from trauma came in all shapes and sizes. "I think that is part of Callie's worries, you do mean something more to her," Barbara offered.

"Well, she certainly has a funny way of showing it," Arizona sarcastically replied.

"Arizona...honey, by your own admission, this relationship feels different to you. It's deeper, more special. And I can see that too. You two complement each other, you finish each other's thoughts, you move in step together, you glow around each other. But there was no glow the morning Callie left." Barbara placed her hand on Arizona's sweaty arm, holding on despite Arizona's efforts to slip away.

"Mom-"

"Hear me out," Barbara insisted. "New relationships are wonderful, but at the same time daunting. I remember when I first started dating your dad. I wanted to be perfect for him. I wanted him to like me. At the beginning, I was so afraid to say the wrong thing, worried he would find me too dull or too chatty. But Callie's worries exceed dullness or chattiness. It's something even more horrific. I don't know what it is, but it's big. Certainly not the kind of challenge a new relationship should be taking on."

"Yeah, but it's a lot for her to take on by herself. I could help her."

"Maybe you will at some point. Isn't she going to her parents' place in Miami? They'll help her."

"Mom, her parents aren't like you and Dad. Her dad threw me out of his office and her mom - she hung up on me! And they don't get the whole girlfriend thing."

"Arizona, respect Callie's choices. Every family functions differently," her mother firmly stated. Arizona bit her lip, trying not to blurt out how idiotic she found her mother's advice.

The older woman changed the subject, "By the way, how long do you have off, dear?"

Arizona stammered, "Uhhh….off? What do you mean?"

"Yes dear, how long is your vacation?" Barbara's intuition perked right up as she saw her daughter's face pale. "Arizona..."

Arizona placed her hands on her hips, staring straight at her mother. She confessed, "I'm not working. I quit my job."

Barbara stared at Arizona, shocked by the disclosure. She wasn't devastated by the revelation. She and her husband helped pay for medical school so their daughter would be a doctor who actually practiced medicine. The Robbins never approved of their daughter's position with _Humans First_. Mulling the situation a moment, Barbara Robbins probed further, "Why didn't you say something before? Do you have something else lined up? "

"Since Calliope arrived, it seemed more like a vacation, an idyllic vacation. Then everything just turned into a shit storm. I didn't want to talk about it," Arizona said sharply. "And truly, I forgot about it."

She honestly did forget about her joblessness. For the past month she fretted to the point of paralysis over her incarcerated friend and the last few days she totally focused on free Callie, who it turned out wasn't free at all. She planned to keep the fact she hadn't worked in weeks under wraps. What's done was done. Unemployment totally went against her parents' ideology and she certainly did not want to burden them with more reasons for concern. If her parents learned the true extent of her self-destruction after the supposedly failed visit to Carlos Torres, they would smother her with well-meaning attention.

Barbara approached Arizona, attempting to draw her into a hug, but Arizona stepped back. "Mom, no. I'm hot and sticky, I'm gross. No hugs." When she saw the hurt on her mother's face, she added, "but I appreciate the thought." Barbara Robbins knew 'the wall' was being reinstated.

Barbara stood at a loss, nodding. "Well, I'll let you shower, but this conversation is not over."

Arizona acknowledged her mother's words with a curt nod before heading up the stairs to her bedroom, wishing Calliope was still here and angry she wasn't. Her lack of a job was a non-issue for Callie. Callie would have spun the joblessness as a new adventure, as an exciting new start of their journey together, a journey not hampered by the restrictions of a job.

Her parents would have readily accepted that plan. It opened the door for all sorts of possibilities for the two of them. Her parents, on the other hand, were now going to make this a major deal. Her whole life was a progression of jobs - chores then babysitting, waitressing and then as a doctor. She always had worked. Unemployment was not a viable Robbins' option.

Since Callie's departure, unspoken conversations overtook the Robbins' house, as though the walls were gossiping behind Arizona's back. It was cramping her style. Her parents didn't broach the subject of employment or Callie, wary of Arizona's habit of disappearing from their lives altogether. "How about another hike tomorrow?" Daniel asked at dinner each night, yearning for his daughter's company. A hike was safe. It required minimal conversation while allowing for father/daughter time. His wife warned him not to push their daughter too hard about getting her life in order and Daniel took that advice. Arizona agreed to the hiking adventures the previous three days. Tonight, she refused, divulging that the time had come for her to leave.

Callie had left four days ago. Arizona had not worked in almost six weeks. After living under her parents' roof for almost a week, Arizona woke knowing it was time to leave this safe haven. Her earlier outburst, reminding them how they were less than supportive of her after Tim's death, lurked in the back of all their minds, making the mealtime conversation polite and not terribly intrusive. Uneasiness joined them at the dinner table.

At dinner, Arizona announced, "I'm heading back to my apartment tomorrow." Her parents stared anxiously. Then she spoke the words she knew they needed to hear, "It's time to start looking for a job."

"Really," her mother hopefully commented. "Do you know where you are going to start looking?"

Arizona smiled. She knew this question was coming and she had an answer. "Actually, I do. I'll be doing per-diem work. I spoke to the agency awhile back. There are always a few places in need of a temporary doctor in the greater L/A area. It's a great way to ease back into surgery."

Her mother clasped her hands in excitement. Her father, with his poker face intact, gave no telltale expression. "So, you're finally going back to real medicine," he gruffly said. His statement spoke volumes about how he felt about her _Humans_ _First_ job.

Not wanting to spoil their last night together, Arizona managed to respond with a simple, "Yup."

"Well, we'll be happy to take you back," her mother offered. "We need to do some shopping in the city anyhow."

* * *

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* * *

Arizona opted to sleep in a bit, stalling her departure. While she didn't want to stay, she was intimidated by leaving. Her trip had been positive in terms of her relationship with her parents. The lingering wounds were healing. Her parents loved her and worried about her; they always would. For the first time in ages, she didn't feel inadequate. She had spent so long feeling like a guilty survivor - her own mind concocting the notion, created so she could justify distancing herself.

She opened her bedroom door and stared at the closed door across the way. Tim's bedroom door stared back. After Tim's death, her parents felt like they lost two children, not one. Now, they felt as though their daughter had returned to them. Even Tim was present as a pleasant memory these last few days. After hearing the shenanigans the two pulled, Callie encouraged her to enjoy the time the two siblings shared while he was alive because it sounded like Tim was not a person who would want to be placed in storage, tucked away from their lives even if she was occasionally sad. Callie was right, she owed Tim that much, and vowed never to let him slip away again. But even so, Arizona still wasn't ready to cross the threshold of his room. Next visit she'd open that door, she vowed.

Her thoughts drifted to Calliope, the present void in her life. Those memories made her simultaneously annoyed and melancholy. Her annoyance stemmed from the fact the brunette was so damn pigheaded. Couldn't Callie see together they would figure this out? Calliope's departure left a fissure, making her feel woefully incomplete. Calliope Torres made her feel whole, happy, and secure; Arizona rediscovered emotions she never expected to feel again. Packing her bag, she trudged down to the kitchen, finding an immense breakfast set out on the table before her.

"Morning dear," Barbara said, leaning in to give her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

"Mom, this is a lot of food. I can't eat all this," Arizona whined. Her mother always felt she needed to eat more than she did.

Barbara smiled, "I'll pack up a doggy bag for you. I know your cupboards are sparse. If you are going back to work, you'll have even less time to cook. I can't imagine hospital food is all that appealing."

"It's not." Arizona smiled. Her mother knew her. There was not a morsel in her refrigerator. "Thanks, Mom."

Her parents drove her back to the city, taking the opportunity to do some shopping in bulk. As she hugged her mother goodbye, Arizona asked, "If Calliope contacts you, you'll let me know, right?"

Barbara shook her head at the silliness of her daughter's request. "Of course. Be patient, honey. It hasn't even been a week. She has your number, doesn't she?"

Arizona thought for a moment, and then nodded; remembering how Callie mentioned that Arizona's voicemail was full and she couldn't leave a message, which was how the brunette ended up at her door. First thing she was going to do was find her cell phone, charge it and empty her voice mailbox.

Daniel hugged his daughter. "Look honey, you need to have faith that this thing with Callie is going work out. She looked me straight in the eye and told me she loved you. I'm a hard man to lie to."

Arizona whispered, "Thanks, Dad."

Arizona labored up the stairs deciding her next move. If she became desperate, she could always call the Torres home. She never mentioned to Calliope she had spoken to her mother before. She wasn't certain how cordial Lucia Torres would be if she called again, but it might be better than showing up at Carlos Torres' office, from which she had been previously escorted out of. Arizona knew she had the residence number someplace. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Emotional turmoil was exhausting, she concluded as she opened the door to her empty apartment. She put her leftovers in the refrigerator, thankful that her next few meals were already prepared. She tracked down her dead cell phone and plugged it in. Feeling overwhelmed, she decided to climb into bed, a bed which smelled like Callie and sex. Pulling the covers up, she succumbed to sleep. Everything else could wait.

Arizona woke at 4:30pm, happy to be in her own, comfortable, Calliope-smelling bed. It took a few sleepy moments to get her bearings. Her childhood bed was not as cozy as she remembered; this one was definitely superior. The only constant was her mother's cooking. It was just as delicious as she recalled and certainly something she appreciated more now that she was on her own. She existed on cereal, boxed mac & cheese and takeout.

Bundled up in her blankets, she pondered whether or not she wanted to let the placement agency know she was ready to start. Looking around, the last memories of her time in the apartment enveloped her. Those recollections were only going to depress her if she stayed in the lonely space so she picked up her cell, eagerly looking at the screen, wishing an alert of missed call or awaiting text was present. Nothing. Opening her contacts, she located the number and took the plunge.

"Yes, this Dr. Arizona Robbins. I was told to call when I was ready to start. Well, I'm ready." She waited while the receptionist transferred her to the medical placement specialist.

A far too cheery voice on the other end spoke, "Dr. Robbins, so nice to hear back from you!"

Arizona groaned. And people say I'm perky, she thought.

The sickly sweet voice continued her sales pitch, "We currently have two opportunities. One is perfect, a beautiful fit, especially for a physician of your caliber. It is at an excellent suburban hospital, located forty-minutes outside the city. You'd be managing a top-rated pediatric surgical department on an interim basis. There is even consideration for the permanent position if you are interested. The money is impressive. The best I've seen come through here. You have a car, don't you?"

Why would she need a car? Her _Humans First_ job was constant travel, usually by plane. The infrequent instances she needed a car, she rented one or used Uber. Arizona answered, "I don't have a car, not yet." This was another hassle to add to her list.

"You'll be getting one or at least leasing one right off, won't you? I bet you'd look great behind the wheel of a sporty coupe? For this job, you need a vehicle; it's not accessible by public transportation," the woman divulged.

"What else do you have?" Arizona discouragingly asked.

A disgruntled sigh came through the earpiece. The perkiness was replaced with sourness. "Well, that only leaves us with LA General. One of the pediatric surgeons is on maternity leave. The original replacement is no longer there. He must have secured a full-time position elsewhere. The pay is far less than the other and you would have no control over your schedule. It's only for a couple weeks."

LA Gen, Arizona pondered as she remembered Calliope's friend worked there. "I'll take it."

The voice on the other end paused. "Really?" the woman questioned with incredulity. "It's a lot less money. Your role at the other one is much more prestigious. Couldn't you lease a car for a bit? I'd be happy to help you arrange that," the woman tactfully pleaded as she saw her commission dwindle to peanuts.

"I'm positive. I prefer to work at General," Arizona assuredly replied.

"Fine. When can you start?" the recruiter huffed.

"Tomorrow, if you want." Arizona smiled. Work might be a good thing.

* * *

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* * *

Arizona was sitting in Human Resources bright and early the next day. The hospital was immense and her duties would be confined to one small area. It didn't matter. Her purpose was to find a connection to Callie, no matter how scant. Miranda Bailey helped her once. She hoped she would do it again.

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	7. Chapter 7

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 **Author's Note:** Big thank you to Cycworker for all her help. My thanks to all of you who continue to read, follow, favorite and review. I do appreciate it.

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 **Chapter 7**

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The next couple days were expectedly stressful. It had been a few years since she worked in a hospital as an employee. Her role with _Humans Firs_ t was mostly as an outsider looking in. Now she was the specimen under the microscope, certain her every move was being scrutinized. It was rather unsettling to be on the other side of the looking glass.

Arizona had no choice but to dig in, determined to get a handle on her new job and make a favorable impression on her fellow doctors. Truth be told, having the distraction didn't hurt either. Callie was omnipresent. Of course she would be. A hospital was where they met, in the scrub room specifically. Arizona still remembered Callie standing at the sink with her back to her. Her eyes were drawn to the colorful scrub cap atop Callie's head. Then she turned around all badass and bitchy. Even if the woman did piss her off, she was unquestionably hot Arizona thought with a short-lived grin. _Oh, Callie…._

Arizona was understandably nervous, wondering if she could achieve superstar status in a short time. She was already a few days into to her two week contract. It all was coming back to her. The skills were there. She always maintained her license, taking the needed courses and squeezing in practice. Nonetheless, she poured herself into this job. The stakes were higher now. She couldn't shake the feeling that this place was her next step toward Calliope. She pushed forward, quashing any insecurity she or even others might be harboring about her abilities.

When she first walked through the hospital entrance, her inclination was to run straight to Miranda Bailey and ask for help yet again in regards to Calliope Torres. She refused to cave into those desires. Appearing desperate and needy would not raise her stature one iota, even though she _**was**_ desperate and needy. Nope, this time Arizona was doing it right. She would figure out the job. She'd get her life under control. Then she'd sort out her relationship. She counted on Miranda Bailey being her ticket to Callie

Ideally, her plan was to "bump" into Dr. Bailey on a consult or a surgery and reintroduce herself, not that she had spent any time in the OR yet. At least that hurdle would be crossed today. Her name was smack dab on the surgical board for a routine bowel procedure on a poor ten year old. Did Dr. Bailey notice, she wondered. Not that Dr. Bailey would even remember her. They had only met once.

As she schemed to have another Calliope conversation with the formidable doctor, Arizona planned her approach, wanting to be prepared. It was Dr. Bailey who shot down Arizona's theories of Callie wanting fame and fortune. It was Dr. Bailey who fully removed her blinders, bluntly informing Arizona of Calliope's connection to multi-millionaire Carlos Torres and that the orthopedic surgeon was already an award winning doctor. It reminded Arizona of how much she still did not know about Calliope Torres, except what her heart told her.

Arizona grabbed the boy's chart and headed for her desk to review the details. She could spout the procedure by heart. Just the same, she prepared. The last thing she needed was a stupid mistake; stupidity would not gain her any points with the headstrong Dr. Bailey. "Patience," Arizona said to herself

* * *

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It was a relief to have her first surgery behind her. As Arizona scrubbed out, she reveled in the moment of rocking the procedure, consumed by the awesomeness of being a surgeon. She missed this high. Few things compared to post-surgical elation. She involuntarily blushed as she recalled the few _other things._

Certainly, there were many feel-good moments in her previous job, but successfully completing a surgery was special. As she basked in her triumph, she carelessly bumped into a striking woman who entered the scrub room as Arizona was exiting. She quickly apologized as she was roused to the present, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"Not a problem." The tall women gazed down at Arizona, taking stock of the blonde, "Are you new around here? I don't remember seeing you before."

"I'm new...and temporary, just covering Dr. Oliver's spot while she is finishing up her maternity leave," Arizona announced as she extended her hand, "Arizona Robbins, Peds."

"Pam Martin, Obstetrics and GYN." The two exchanged pleasantries. "So, you're the perky, new doctor. I've heard there was a replacement for the replacement. You are a pleasant change!" Pam said admiringly. "The previous surgeon was extremely irritable, a real bastard. What kind of person goes into Peds if he doesn't like kids? Admin finally let him go before a department mutiny transpired," Dr. Martin revealed.

Arizona smiled nervously, reminded she was still coming to terms with the kid-thing. But, she liked kids. Of course, for Callie, she'd have a hundred kids. "I'll keep that in mind," Arizona noted.

The taller woman eyed Arizona curiously. "Which hospital did you come from? I haven't heard your name before? Usually, there's a little scuttlebutt," Pam inquired suspiciously. The latest hospital gossip was the temporary doctor knew what she was doing. The Peds surgeon astutely diagnosed a few issues that had stumped more than one attending already. The nurses found Arizona to be a polite professional who was a perfectionist. One or two may have even described her as cute. Pam was intrigued. She had not heard of a Dr. Arizona Robbins before. A name like that was hard to forget.

Arizona sheepishly answered, "None, actually. I was in more of an administrative capacity in my previous position, lots of travel...outside the country. I think I'm an unknown in these parts. I...I wanted to return to hands-on medicine."

"Well, welcome aboard. Perhaps we can have lunch. I'd love to hear more about your travels and former job. It's interesting to learn what else we doctors can do outside these hospital walls. What about tomorrow, when are you free?" Dr. Martin asked with surprising interest.

Arizona apprehensively answered, "Sure, tomorrow sounds awesome. I can meet you in the cafe at noon," she responded after quickly running through her schedule in her head. "My surgery should be done by then."

"The one on the Westin boy. I heard about that. Good call by the way," Pam complimented, to which Arizona humbly nodded.

After the two parted, Arizona berated herself. She was so hyper-focused on tracking Callie down, she hadn't thought about sharing her story. She needed to get her facts straights. The last thing she needed to do was come across as a confused, desperate, jilted lover, even though she kind of was. Bailey asked her that very question when the two first met. She had convinced herself that this was an entirely different situation. Arizona was putting a plan in place so she and Callie could find their way back to each other. Plus, having lunch in some place other than her office would be a nice change. And befriending an ally to help navigate this medical maze was a good idea. She hoped Bailey would be an ally of sorts, too, but she was rather a strong personality.

* * *

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As promised, the following day Pam Martin was waiting for Arizona at the cafe entrance. "Dr. Robbins, I'm glad you didn't stand me up!" the OB jested.

"I'm so sorry, my surgery ran over, and the parents were super nervous. The whole twenty questions thing. I wasn't sure how to reach you. Thanks for waiting," Arizona panted, breathless from her mad dash to the cafe.

Pam smiled, "You're not that late; I knew your surgery ran over. I checked before I left my office. It's a hazard of the job; a lunch date is a luxury for us surgeons."

Arizona stiffened at the woman's words. Was she being polite or forward? After hearing the phrases, 'stand-me up' and 'lunch date', she wasn't sure. This was just a date for lunch right? Because it was sounding more and more like an 'I-like-you' lunch date. She anxiously smiled at the attractive woman, blurting, "I'm starving, what do you recommend?"

"The lasagna is excellent. Other than that I'd stick with the make your own sandwich bar. At least you know what's in there," Pam mischievously grinned. "I'm getting the lasagna. I have a long day today." Pam said as she pointed out the window.

Arizona nodded. "Right," she said, noticing the heavy, dark clouds amassing.

Pam replied with a grin, "Yup, it's gonna rain babies!" she joked. "Three women are already in labor as we speak. I'm counting on the carbs to hold me over. It might be my only meal for a bit."

Arizona followed, choosing the Italian entree as well. They settled into a table by the windows, where Pam peppered Arizona with questions. Arizona had nothing to hide, per se. Her time with _Humans First_ was rewarding and interesting. She had seen things that depressed her and inspired her. Pam hung on to every word as Arizona recounted her stories, which conveniently glossed over her time in Bata and excluded the mention of Dr. Callie Torres altogether.

"Amazing career path, Arizona. You have quite the history."

Arizona shrugged, "It was a good experience, but I'm happy to be here and get back to the operating room. I missed this part of medicine," she cheerfully said.

The conversation was easy and flowed naturally. Before either knew it, it was just past one p.m. "Oh, wow, I've got to go," Arizona exclaimed. "Don't want to make a bad impression the first week, especially since I'm a short-timer!"

The two women left the cafeteria, still deeply engrossed in conversation, when voice bellowed through the hall, "Holdup Dr. Martin! I have a question for you." The doctor scurried up from behind, "Pam, I need to-"

As both women turned around, Dr. Bailey stopped short. "-Dr. Robbins? What are _**you**_ doing here?" Bailey's mind whirled with possibilities. Why was Arizona Robbins talking to Pam Martin?

Arizona stood speechless, staring at her shoes. She never followed up with Dr. Bailey after their initial conversation almost two months prior. Though, as she stood before the woman, who clearly had not forgotten her, she realized she should have stopped by and at least said 'Hi'.

Pam Martin looked at the two, perplexed by the exchange. "You two know each other?" she inquired in surprise.

Bailey straightened her back, adding at least five inches of intimidation to her height. "We do. And Dr. Robbins owes me a conversation, which I don't have time for right now." Bailey turned to Arizona and commanded, "I'll see you at five pm in my office." Without waiting for an answer, because none was needed, Bailey turned to the OB, placing her hand under the woman's elbow, leading her down the hall, asking, "Do you have a minute? I need a consult."

Pam looked over her shoulder, with arched eyebrows and a smirk. Arizona turned red, looking like she had just been caught with her hands in the cookie jar. She bit her lower lip and shrugged in response, wondering what tidbits Miranda Bailey was going to share with Pam Martin, if any. More importantly, she needed to decide how to phrase her explanation to Miranda Bailey so she remained on the doctor's good side.

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"Tell me you working here, in this hospital, is a bizarre coincidence?" Almost a week ago Callie Torres stood in her office as she prepared to run to the east coast. Now Arizona Robbins stood in the very spot. An impossible coincidence.

Arizona sucked in a deep breath, ready to answer 'yes' when Miranda Bailey raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. Exhaling, Arizona shook her head, "No," she replied in a hushed tone.

"Well, go on. I not going to bite, or at least not hard," Miranda said sternly. "I want an explanation and a damn good one at that! Two months ago you show up on my doorstep, get me all worried about Torres, pry personal information from these lips and just disappear. Now you take a position in my hospital a couple months later and can't be bothered to stop by and say hi. What the hell happened?"

The shorter woman stared at Arizona, watching tears pool in the blonde's eyes.

"Go on," Bailey commanded as she pointed to a chair, indicating that Arizona should sit.

Arizona dropped into the seat, relieved she could finally talk to someone about Calliope. First, she profusely apologized to Miranda, explaining she never expected that Dr. Bailey would have remembered her. Arizona spent the next hour recounting all that transpired since she had last sat in this very chair, leaving out the more intimate moments.

"I quit my job at _HF._ After the whole thing with Calliope, I couldn't work. I couldn't get out of bed. I thought she would be in that jail or stuck with that bastard Rivas forever. But she came back. I thought she wanted me to be part of her life, her future. But, she's gone. She was having bad nightmares, afraid she would hurt me. Totally absurd thinking on her part. I mean she did hurt me, once, but it was a freak accident. Now I can't get into bed. It... It reminds me what I'm missing, who I'm missing," Arizona recounted.

Bailey sat quietly, realizing that before her sat one of the pieces to the Torres puzzle. When Callie showed up at the hospital a week ago, Bailey knew the woman was scared and scarred, but Bailey wasn't alarmed. Callie Torres was a strong woman. She assumed the whole escape from Africa fiasco had taken its toll on the orthopedic surgeon. Time and therapy would ultimately be the best medicine. Callie mentioned Arizona, but Bailey did not realize the depth of their relationship.

Hearing Arizona Robbins talk of her own broken heart, Miranda knew that Callie was far more broken than she first feared. Callie's heart was fragile. There was only so much heartache a person could recover from. Callie's previous love life left her heart in shambles, leaving her feeling unworthy of happiness. It was Callie's nature to put others first, despite her own heartache, which explained the sad woman sitting in her office.

Miranda chose her words carefully, not letting on that she had seen Callie or even helped treat her. "Callie Torres is an emotional woman. She reacts without thinking through the consequences. It's what makes her special and frustrating, the unbridled passion firing within her. Her past has made her guarded and pig-headed if you ask me. She needs time to figure out it is love, not distance, which will heal her. Give Callie some time to settle down, perhaps she will reach this conclusion on her own," Bailey suggested unconvincingly. "

"You don't think she's coming back for me, do you?" Arizona asked.

"I think she may need some prodding," Bailey advised. "But she also needs space. She can be a hot head, a little impulsive."

"Callie asked for some space, but I'm ready to fly down to Miami and knock on Carlos Torres' door. If I do, I'm afraid I'll ruin any chance I have with her. He threw me out the last time I showed up on his doorstep," Arizona explained.

"I think that man thanks his lucky stars every night you did go to see him. He loves his daughter dearly." Miranda shuddered to think what would have happened had Arizona not stepped in.

"So I should go to Miami?" Arizona excitedly asked.

Miranda shook her head, "Don't be an impatient fool. It hasn't even been two weeks. She asked for time. Give it to her. I'm not saying wait forever, I'm just saying be a little more patient. You're committed here for a couple weeks, so you aren't going anywhere," Bailey dictated. "We need you here right now and I expect you to complete your commitment."

Arizona grimaced, even though she basically liked what she heard. A little more patience would be prudent. "Okay, I'll wait," she conceded as she walked to the door.

Bailey called out, "And Arizona..." The Peds surgeon stopped and turned.

Miranda came around the desk, crossing her arms as she leaned against its front. "You already know how I feel about getting involved in other people's personal business. I don't. But you're new here and in a vulnerable place. And Pam Martin. Well, she is a good friend, a very good friend. But so is Callie, one of my oldest and dearest," Bailey explained. Arizona furrowed her brows in confusion.

Watching the blank expression covering Arizona's face, Bailey threw her hands up in frustration. "Am I the only one with a lick of common sense right now? Torres really has broken you, hasn't she? I thought you people were supposed to have some kind of gaydar or whatever you call it."

Arizona remained bewildered by Bailey's rant. "Bailey, I..."

"She's flirting with you! Can't you see that? Pam Martin is a helluva doctor and a wonderful friend. The best. But she's a female Sloan," Bailey shared with exasperation. Not seeing any reaction and realizing the name Sloan would mean nothing to Arizona, Bailey continued spouting, "She's a womanizer, Robbins. Pam Martin likes beautiful, smart women - like you! And you're too damn distracted to even notice. I'm just saying to watch your step. If you go crying on Pam's shoulder, well, who knows what will happen." She then gave Arizona her best evil eye. "Don't give me a reason to kick your ass."

Arizona smiled. Miranda Bailey had her back. "Thank you, Miranda."

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She left the hospital understanding that her bull-in-the-china-shop girlfriend needed time to process. _Yes, they were still girlfriends in her mind, despite Callie's overtures of distance._ Arizona chuckled as she recounted Bailey's parting words. Her 'gaydar' as Bailey put it was working just fine, thank you. Who was Sloan? What did Bailey know anyhow - the woman was straight? Miranda Bailey clearly had an active imagination. It didn't matter. Arizona wasn't worried one single bit. It was true. Pam Martin was talented, friendly and beautiful. Now that Bailey mentioned it, if Calliope Torres hadn't crossed her path, Arizona could totally see herself dating Pam. But Pam didn't register on her radar because she didn't come close to Callie.

As Arizona walked into her apartment building, she noticed the yellow post-it on her mailbox, **"Please empty."** She located the small key on her ring and with effort, opened the narrow mailbox. It was crammed with magazines, flyers, junk mail and a few bills from companies who had not adopted the green philosophy, arriving every month regardless of auto-pay. She really should just get a post office box. Arizona groaned as she yanked the mail from the box.

When did she sign up for _Time_ magazine, she thought. Four issues were intermixed with her _Pediatrics Today_ and her _Medicine Matters_ journals. Definitely cancelling _Time_ , Arizona decided. She would never have time to read these four issues, never mind another forty-eight.

Once in her apartment, she quickly shuffled through the junk mail, rapidly tossing the envelopes and flyers into the trash can. She was almost through the stack when she noticed a pale pink envelope in the trash bin. It must have been hidden inside a flyer. It was addressed to her by hand in beautiful cursive. Arizona reached down and retrieved it. There was no return address, but it was postmarked a few days ago, in Miami. Arizona stared at it, bringing the envelope to her nose, convinced the letter smelled like Callie's Hermès perfume.

She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine, never letting the letter out of her sight. Nothing good was going to come of this letter if it was from Calliope. Liquid courage was needed before she could open it. She finished the glass and poured a second before she unsealing the top.

Opening the letter slowly, Arizona noticed the silver embossed monogram at the top. It was an over-sized, scripted "T", flanked by a slightly smaller "C" and "I" on each side. Arizona smirked. She knew with certainty Callie did not pick out this stationary. The pink shade alone told her that. The bold, shiny initials adorning the page screamed her mother or an aunt purchased it. Callie wasn't shiny or pink. Callie would have chosen something far simpler and understated, Arizona easily deduced.

Her eyes dropped down the page and began to read. "Oh Calliope," gasped Arizona. Some of the words on the paper were blurred from where the ink ran, but not beyond recognition. It was obvious - this was as hard a letter to write as it was to read. Arizona kicked herself mentally for not having her cellphone with her when she was at her parents' and even worse, for being too careless to clear out her voicemail. Arizona knew hearing Callie's voice would tell her truly what Callie felt. She could not decipher the actual emotions behind the penned words.

Reading it a second time made her not just sad, but also angry. Why couldn't Callie understand - her baggage was never going to be too much for her or for them. Africa - that seemed insurmountable at first and it didn't stop Arizona from taking on the whole country until the last card was played. But this, the nightmares and the terror, this they could manage together. "Callie, you're not thinking straight. I know that. Damn it" Arizona walked to the window, staring blankly outside, "I'll give you time, but not too much more."

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 **Author's Note #2** \- Just want to give a shout out to Miranda Bailey. After writing this chapter, I am reminded what a fun and versatile character she is. She's awesome. And Chandra Wilson totally does her justice!

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	8. Chapter 8

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 **A/N 1:** This is a long chapter. I considered splitting it, but in the end decided it was best to keep it whole. Continued thanks to Cycworker for all her wonderful beta efforts. This chapter was originally 2,500 words. It evolved, and she needed to revisit it multiple times - and I still changed things even after she looked it over.

My sincere appreciation to all of you who have continued to read, follow and/or review! This story is winding down, another 10,000 words or so to go.

 **A/N 2:** Caution regarding triggers - this chapter includes some dialogue about Callie's traumatic memories.

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 **Chapter 8**

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Callie's stomach twisted in knots as she warily strode to the entrance of the counseling office. She was a jumble of angry and anxious. She hated William Rivas. Despised him. Every day her hatred of him intensified. In turn, she disliked herself even more for the hate flourishing within her. It was her nature to be forgiving and optimistic. But not anymore. He ruined her. She didn't want him so he made sure she was too broken to be involved with anyone else. It was that one thought consuming her mind to the point of obsession - her brokenness. Each day, she rotated through a myriad of emotions: despair, anger, anxiousness and loneliness.

At the moment, she was plain pissed off that the bastard still managed to haunt her life and drive her to this moment, to this appointment, and away from Arizona. With no resolution in sight, her future appeared destined for solitude. As her mind ran rogue, she envisioned Rivas smugly smiling at his control over her, like a puppeteer pulling the strings.

During her rare moments of clarity, she knew he was up to his eyeballs in legal troubles, trying to avoid his own jail sentence. Since her return to Miami, her common sense had been deteriorating by the hour. She knew a man of Rivas' means could buy his way out of jail, and that irked her even more. The only consolation was the price tag for his freedom would be hefty and financially ruin him. Her father made sure of that.

As Callie sat there, navigating through a sea of toxic sentiments, a professional woman in her early forties stepped into the waiting area and called out her name, "Calliope." Callie looked around her, deciding it seemed rather silly to say her name aloud; she was the only person sitting there.

Callie forced a weak smile. She stood, securely hugging her pocketbook against her stomach and tentatively walked toward the woman.

Observing the uncertainty in Callie's steps, the therapist asked again, "Calliope?" Callie nodded. "I'm Dr. Mercedes Smith. Come in."

Inside the simple office, Callie noticed some cozy chairs, a couch, a few Kleenex boxes and floor to ceiling windows with light streaming in between the vertical blinds. Nothing remarkable, just simple and comfortable.

"Have a seat," Dr. Smith affably offered as she sat down herself. "I see Dr. Martin referred you. She's an acquaintance of mine from residency."

Callie nodded, unsure of what else needed to be added, so she continued to remain silent.

Seeing Callie's anxiety, Dr. Smith continued, "Why don't I explain how I run my practice. I want you to be comfortable. If you think this type of therapy is something you want to try and you feel comfortable here, we'll move forward. If not, I can recommend another therapist. My specialty is post-traumatic stress. I've had success with victims of abuse recovering repressed memories, which we then process to help manage the trauma. I use a variety of techniques, including guided imagery and visualization."

Callie's wrenched her hands even tighter as she sat on the edge of her chair, seemingly ready to bolt at a moment's notice. "That sounds fine," she croaked, not that the words spoken by Dr. Smith even registered in her brain.

Dr. Smith stood and walked to her desk area, pulling out a bottle of water from the mini fridge hidden behind it. "Take a deep breathe, Calliope," she suggested, as she handed Callie the water bottle.

"Actually, I go by Callie," she quickly corrected after drinking from the water bottle. Only her parents and Arizona used Calliope and she wanted to keep it that way. It sounded unappealing coming out of anyone else's mouth.

Dr. Smith smiled. It was a baby step in the right direction. "Callie it is. Let's start. Please, share what you can when you are ready."

Callie nodded, looking down at her bare wrist. She rubbed the space where her watch usually sat. Nervous, she looked around the room, presumably searching for a clock.

"Callie, relax. There's no a stopwatch running today. You're my last appointment of the day. I always set the first meeting up with a person this way so there are no time constraints. You can stop anytime. Share what you can and take your time. I can be here all night if you need."

Callie smiled in relief. She couldn't dispute that this therapist seemed to be a good fit. Pam Martin put her at the top of the list with good reason. Callie spent the better part of her session describing her last year. With each word she spoke, the next became easier. It was as if the dam holding back her fears and frustrations finally was able to release some of its volume. She talked about why she went to Africa in the first place, her time there, her challenges, her successes, the children, the soccer team, William Rivas, her nightmares and ended by confessing how she recently left someone she loved dearly with telltale bruises.

When Callie stopped speaking, Dr. Smith noted, "Well, Callie. It's good you've chosen to be here. Give yourself some credit. It was quite an ordeal you survived. I know you're frightened by not knowing whether or not you were sexually abused. The wrongful incarceration was a form of abuse you had to suffer through."

As Dr. Smith sized up Callie and her situation, she explained sincerely, "Doctors work so hard fixing others; it's often hard to accept help when we are the ones in need of fixing. For me to help you, I need you to learn to trust me. I get that it may take a few sessions for you to get there. We will work through it, together. And I know you don't want to hear this, but it's going to take some time. There's no magic solution here."

Callie paused a moment, thinking through the therapist's words. She took another gulp from the water bottle. "There's more," she said as her voice quivered. Tears streamed down her cheeks and Callie started to hyperventilate, unable to breathe, never mind speak.

Dr. Smith scooted next to Callie, sitting next to her on the couch. She placed her hands on Callie's to stop their trembling. "Deep breathes, Callie. I'm here to help you." It took a few minutes, and more coaching before Callie was able to breathe normally. "Did you want to share more?" the doctor asked tenderly.

Callie nodded. The remaining demons needed to be expelled. If she held them inside any longer, they would destroy her. Maybe they already had. She didn't know. Callie described how she was implicated in an unremembered eating episode only two nights ago, tearfully divulging her latest woeful paranoia that her life was spiraling out of control.

"Do you know how freaky it makes me feel that I can have a perfectly logical conversation with someone and have no memory of it?" Callie grabbed a tissue as she wiped her eyes dry, concluding, "Dr. Smith, it's getting worse. I'm afraid to close my eyes. I don't know what scares me more, waking with the nightmares or wrongfully assuming I've slept through the night."

Dr. Smith smiled warmly, "Callie, I don't think it's getting worse. I think we are talking about two distinct issues. My hunch is the Zolpidem is causing some of this. One of the crazy side effects some people have from that sleep aid is eating while one is asleep. Some people have been known to even take a midnight drive and not remember a thing. Let's stop the sleeping pills. I know you are struggling with fatigue, but I don't think a sleeping pill is right for you at this time. I know that's not what you want to hear. Can you get out for a walk or try some form of exercise?"

Callie nodded her head, thinking about the pool at her parents' house. She could swim a few laps. She swam a decent individual medley in her youth. She was out of shape. A few laps and she'd be spent.

"Let's see if that helps," the therapist suggested. Dr. Smith armed Callie with a journal. Should Callie remember anymore of her dreams, she was to write down any detail, no matter how trivial. Callie felt slightly lighter as she stepped into the Audi she borrowed from her father.

She felt hopeful that Dr. Smith believed her missing time was only a side effect of the medication. In a day or two she would have confirmation that her initial fears were unfounded. Once she answered that question and had another appointment, she would revisit the idea of calling Arizona. Callie dropped the cell phone back into her purse. She put the car in drive, heading back to her parents' estate before she could change her mind.

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She entered the quiet house. Her parents had a social event to attend that evening, leaving her on her own for dinner. It was just as well. She didn't want to talk about her appointment. She opted for a salad and ate in the kitchen, preferring Anna's company. "This is not enough Miss Callie. Here, you need some protein with that," the older woman declared as she automatically added grilled chicken to Callie's salad.

Callie smiled, Anna was right. "I know we've had this conversation before, but why can't you just call me Callie?"

"You can't teach old dog new tricks. Miss Callie is what I'm used to and it's your name as far as I'm concerned. What I call you doesn't change how I feel about you. I've known you for years, watched you grow into a beautiful, smart woman. But thank you for offering."

"Oh Anna, fine. You're a good friend. Thank you," Callie said as she hugged the cook.

After dinner, Callie decided to take a dip in the pool. The doctor suggested a bit of exercise. She should have done it before dinner, on an empty stomach, but she hadn't thought about it until now. She would merely set a leisurely pace, a few easy laps.

After swimming, she wrapped herself in an over-sized towel and stretched out on a chaise lounge on the veranda. It was a beautiful night. The air was refreshing and tranquil with the clear sky sparkling above. Callie decided to watch the stars, resting for a bit under the beautiful blanket of stars.

As she distracted herself trying to identify the constellations, a shooting star caught her attention, making her instantly weepy. It reminded her of the night a couple weeks ago when she and Arizona saw their shooting star, together. "God, I wish you were here Arizona," Callie said aloud to the star, knowing Ptolemy's theory had not an ounce of truth to it, but old habits die hard.

A few moments later she heard, "Calliope." Callie cringed upon hearing her mother's shrill voice, shattering her peace. Her mother appeared with two cups of tea. "It's a bit late for coffee, but this might help you sleep," Lucia softly suggested.

As the two sipped their tea, Lucia talked about her night. Though the details were pedestrian, Callie listened in earnest, taking her mind of her troubles for at least a bit.

Her mother finally broached the topic Callie was desperate to avoid. "Calliope, how was your appointment today?"

"No, Mom. Don't. I can't get into it with you. Please," Callie insisted politely yet firmly.

Her daughter's response was a stark reminder to Lucia that she was no longer a trusted confidant. She lost that right years ago. Lucia remembered young Calliope, so trusting and honest, sharing every thought that crossed her mind, blurting it out without a consideration. That Callie disappeared by high school when Lucia started challenging her daughter's dogma and passing judgement as she tried to mold Callie into the woman she planned for her to become.

Torres women were strong-willed. Calliope was no exception. Calliope would walk away from everything except her values. Lucia knew she was not nearly as principled as her daughter. Lucia would never walk away from the money, the house or the social status. Calliope was stronger than she was and material items mattered little to her. Lucia mulled this as she watched her defeated daughter, wishing she could lessen the burden and pain.

Lucia was overwhelmed by both a surge of pride and a sense of remorse. Calliope was unselfish to a fault. Lucia loved her daughter, no question. But this whole concept of bisexuality made no sense to her. Calliope said she could love either a man or a woman. Why couldn't she just make everyone's life less complicated and choose a man? Why did it have to be this Arizona in California? Even the woman's name was confusing. It was a terrible struggle for her as a parent to manage.

Regret lingered. Lucia knew she could not undo the past; her words, at times, had been harsh. As a mother, she saw the torment and suffering of her own flesh and blood. She wondered how she could make this right, finally deciding all she could presently do was bring up some other mundane topic to fill the void in conversation in an effort to maintain any connection to her daughter, no matter how trivial.

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Pam Martin cornered Arizona as she was leaving the OR. "Dr. Robbins, do you have time for some coffee? I noticed you have a gap in between surgeries."

Arizona smiled, unsurprised to see Pam Martin. She assumed it wouldn't be too long before the woman tracked her down again. Her gut said Miranda Bailey was not the type to gossip, and Pam was left with a few questions. She looked at her watch. "Sure," Arizona replied. "I have some time."

The two sat down on the bench by the least frequented coffee cart, out of earshot of most of the foot traffic. "So Arizona, you know Miranda Bailey," Pam smugly stated. It was not a question.

Arizona nervously played with her hands, not looking at Pam. The conversation she had with Bailey a couple days prior was running through her mind. She saw Pam Martin in a vastly different light at the moment, causing her face to flush with nervousness. Pam Martin was an attractive woman, no question. And Bailey was right, she was certain of it. Pam might be a nice, good looking person, but Arizona needed to tactfully nip this flirting in the bud. "What did Miranda tell you?" Arizona asked coyly.

Pam replied, "Not a word. Told me it was your story to tell."

After hearing that Arizona liked Bailey even more. But now it was on her to discretely disentangle herself from this convoluted situation. "I do know Miranda, though not for all that long. We have a mutual friend. Actually, it's not really a friend...No, that's not quite accurate. She's Bailey's friend. They've known each other for years. They have a lot of history, but that's not to say I don't have a history with...this friend - it's just not as long as Dr. Bailey's...Actually, she's not exactly my friend. That didn't come out right either. She is my friend, well, I mean... we're more than friends or we're supposed to be more than friends." Arizona said nonplussed, "It's a complicated story."

"You babble; it's endearing." Pam's comments caused Arizona to blush again.

"It is? I didn't mean to...Endearing is not what I'm going for," Arizona huffed all flustered. "This is not coming out right. Calliope, I mean Callie is our mutual friend, Miranda's and mine...She means a lot to me."

The pieces for Pam quickly fell into place. She looked at Arizona intently. An awkward silence rested between them as Pam realized the friend in question had to be none other than Dr. Callie Torres, her patient.

Pam sported a vanquished smiled, trying to extricate herself as nobly as possible from her forward behavior. "You're telling me this because you're this hot, blonde new doctor in the hospital and you think I'm going to ask you out, right?" Pam challenged.

Arizona was unprepared for Dr. Martin to boldly call her out on such a presumption. Making it worse, Arizona was of course thinking Pam Martin was romantically interested in her. "Are you going to ask me out? Because if you aren't, I've just made a complete ass of myself?" Arizona humbly acknowledged.

"Well, you should know, I'm an incorrigible flirt, but I don't date within the hospital. It's too messy. So no, I wasn't going to ask you out." Arizona was mortified by Pam Martin's answer. Miranda Bailey led her astray.

Pam grinned, deciding to relieve the blonde of her embarrassed state. "Actually, that's not entirely true. I wasn't going to ask you out for at least another week...I was waiting until your contract was over. I really don't date within the hospital," Pam smirked. "It doesn't really matter, does it? It appears your heart is already taken."

Arizona nodded, grinning as she thought about Callie. "It is," she affirmed. "But I'm flattered. Super flattered."

Pam laughed at Arizona's cheeky response. "Touché," the OB answered. A few minutes earlier, she was the cocky one. But the moment Pam heard the name of Arizona's love interest, the game was over. "Understood. Want to talk about it? I'm a pretty good, Bailey-kind of friend. You look could use another friend right now." Though the offer was made in earnest, Pam knew she was walking a fine ethical line, having treated _the friend_ in question.

Arizona's confidence was short-lived as she turned melancholy, replying, "Maybe, at some point, but not now. It's been a rough couple weeks. I'm barely keeping it together. This facade is paper-thin," she said, pointing to her smile. "How about we just talk about the job? Can we do that? The distraction would be nice."

The two doctors talked shop as they finished their coffees. Pam mentioned she heard the Peds attending was back in another week, "But, we like you here. I heard admin is hoping to keep you. I wasn't overly excited to hear that initially...for personal reasons," Pam winked as she said it. "But now that I know where I stand, I'm all for it."

Arizona shook her head, a smile finally reappearing. "We'll see. I'm not sure where I'll end up. I'm waiting to hear from...my friend."

"Your _**friend**_ is lucky to have you, Arizona. I hope she knows that," Pam said sincerely.

Arizona shrugged, "I don't know," she sadly answered as she thought back to the letter.

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Callie shored her strength to walk into Dr. Smith's office for her second appointment. Her journal had very little to share. A few words were jotted down: bathroom, dark, two men, jail, yelling. She knew she was still having nightmares - her bed-sheets and pillows were strewn about each morning, leaving telltale signs. When she woke, her heart was pounding furiously. She couldn't quite pinpoint anything more specific.

"Callie, welcome back," Dr. Smith greeted.

"Hi," was all Callie managed.

"Let's go over the last couple days," Dr. Smith suggested. "Any more incidents of missing time?"

"No, I don't think so," Callie replied. As the two chatted, Callie shared her days, her sense of feeling increasingly unsettled in Miami and her lack of trust in herself. "At first, I felt safe in Miami." She didn't have the nightmares when she first returned from Africa. Now, even in her parents' house, she could not evade them.

"Are you talking to anyone else, a family member or a friend about this?" the doctor asked. "It sounds like you are spending a lot of time alone. That's not healthy, Callie."

Callie stared at her therapist defeatedly. "I don't have any friends around here. My sister isn't living in the area. My parents would do anything for me, but they aren't great listeners. They only hear what they want to hear. I'm only staying with them because it makes sense until I feel more secure, but security seems so far away. Our relationship is complicated. They love me, but they don't love my ' _lifestyle_ _choices'_."

Dr. Smith prompted Callie to explain further, "Meaning?"

With a shoulder shrug, Callie explained, "I mentioned to my mother the other day it wouldn't matter to me if I was a single parent. That earned me a lesson on the Catholic Church's beliefs. I'm already divorced. I'm sure they annulled my marriage, even though I told them not to. Even harder for them to understand is the person I now love is a woman. My parents - or at least my mother - definitely doesn't understand that. Those conversations get me the Eternity in Hell speech. I've dated men before. Even married one. It's the person that matters to me. My bisexuality confuses my parents. They see it as some kind of switch I can turn off and on, as though I can pray away the gay."

Callie's shoulders drooped, "Really, none of this matters if I can't sort out this nightmare thing. I certainly wouldn't date or become a parent with my screwed-up life."

"Then let's talk about the nightmares and see what we can do about those," Dr. Smith prodded reassuringly.

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Callie left the doctor's office with mixed feelings. Sure, Dr. Smith drew out some new details, but no revealing answers. Another person, a man, kept popping into her head. He didn't scare or revile her as Rivas did. The faceless assailant left her confused and uncertain. Reliving her time in prison depressed her even more. Callie was less confident of solving this problem than ever.

It was only two appointments, Dr. Smith reminded her. Two appointments which didn't make her feel measurably better about herself. _Give it some time. Get out, be with people. Talk to a friend,_ was the parting advice from her doctor _._ She had few friends, but only one she felt she could talk to. But no, she wouldn't call Arizona. How would that conversation go? "Hello, Arizona...How am I? I'm still screwed up. Still having those fucking nightmares. Still hating myself more than ever. Hey, nice chatting. Have a nice day." Nope. Not calling. She hated herself and this mess. Why did she ever go to Africa?

Callie decided to go straight home instead of driving aimlessly around town as had become her habit the last couple days. Perhaps she'd swim again. She slept better the other night after a few laps. Or she assumed she did. No one said anything about any unusual behavior on her part. She was certain her parents had staff on the lookout for such an occurrence.

As she entered the house, she bumped into her mother, who immediately noticed her daughter's bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "Calliope, I'm going downtown again, to the school. Why don't you join me? The children adore you."

"Not today, Mom. I can't."

"You might feel better," Lucia hopefully offered.

Callie despondently shook her head, "I'll see you later," she said as she walked up the stairs.

Later that evening Callie entered the dining room, obviously interrupting an intense conversation between her parents. Carlos and Lucia abruptly stopped talking the moment she walked in.

"Is everything alright?" Callie suspiciously demanded. She glared at her parents, insisting, "If there's something you want to tell me, just say it to my face. Please respect me enough to do that!"

Carlos calmly replied, "Everything is fine, Mija. I was just asking your mother how you were doing. Since you are here, I can ask you directly."

Callie stared at her dad, who clearly was lying, at least partially. In her mind, she had reached a dead-end, stating, "I'm as fine as I'm going to be. I am, really. Therapy is hard and I'm not making the progress I need to live the way I want to. To live with whom I want to. And I'm tired, Daddy, really tired. You know about the sleeping pills. Don't worry, you can take Robert and Anna off high alert," she bitterly noted. "I can't risk taking them because who the hell knows what crazy me is going to do. And it won't be your problem much longer. I'm only staying for a little longer because I truly don't think I can escape this," she sadly said as she extended her arms wide. "It's time to get used to dealing with this hell on my own."

"You're just a bit down lately, Mija. It will get better," Carlos insisted, now extremely worried about his daughter's fragile emotional state.

"Will it?" Callie dejectedly challenged.

Lucia suggested, "Perhaps you could go out, have some fun. Are there any friends still in area?"

Callie immediately became irritated with her mother's suggestion. As if socializing with a bunch of phony people was the answer! "Mom, I have no friends here. Had you actually paid attention to me and my life over the last decade, you would be aware of that. Just so you know, they were never really my friends anyway. They were friends of your money." Callie paused a moment, softy adding, "You know, I'm not really hungry tonight. I'm going to pass on dinner." She turned around and walked out.

Tears pricked at Carlos' eyes as his beloved daughter disappeared from sight. Lucia fared no better, watching first her daughter and now her husband struggle with anguish. "Carlos, I don't know what to do for her anymore."

Carlos stared at his wife, disappointed in her words. "You don't know what to do for her because you refuse to understand her. Is she really all that different than any of us?"

Lucia was unprepared for her husband to lay blame on her. She barked, "How do you expect me to understand? How can she love a woman as one loves a man?"

"Lucia, the only thing you need to understand is love. When did that become so hard for you? Why does the who even matter? I certainly wasn't a favorite of your parents', all brash and bold. Did you listen to your parents?" He didn't wait for an answer. "You didn't because you loved me and that's all we needed!" Carlos loudly professed as he banged his fist against his chest. "Back then it didn't matter if we were rich or poor. Money has changed you, Lucia. Hasn't that woman-"

"It's Arizona," Lucia said softly. "The woman's name is Arizona."

"Right, the doctor. Hasn't she proved her worthiness? Just because she's a woman, we don't consider her suitable?" he challenged.

Lucia shook her head, "What makes you think this person could even help Calliope? Calliope is the one who left her. Don't you think if Calliope thought that this Arizona could help her, she would have stayed out in LA? They barely know each other. Calliope knows home is where she needs to be, with us. She's just depressed. She needs to be with people who know her and love her and who don't live thousands of miles away. She's _**my**_ daughter and I just need some time to figure this out for her," Lucia decided.

"Lucia, you might think you can handle this, but our Calliope is at the end of her rope. Can't you see that? And we're running out of time to help her," Carlos noted. "For godsakes, if you can't open your eyes, at least open your heart. You need to stop making this about you and start realizing that this is about _**our daughter**_ \- the daughter I thought we selflessly loved or at least I do." Distraught, Carlos threw his napkin on to the table and left the dining room.

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Over the next week, Callie dodged her parents as often as she could, joining them only occasionally for a meal, thankful when their social commitments took them elsewhere. Her parents invited different friends and relatives over on the weekend, desperate to draw Callie out of the shell she was crawling deeper and deeper into. Callie only left the house for her therapy appointments.

"No more guests, Mom," Callie demanded. "It's not helping. You invite them, you entertain them." Callie grabbed the keys to the Audi and disappeared for hours.

Callie left her most recent session with Dr. Smith. She had made nominal progress in therapy. She couldn't explain it, but there was definitely another person involved, a man. She couldn't place him. In her dreams, this stranger didn't anger her. But he was angrily yelling, frightening her. It didn't make sense.

The nightmares continued to plague her, leaving her unsettled, distracted and exhausted. Her mantra became if she didn't want to be involved with this mess, why would Arizona? The more she thought it, the more she believed it. She was certain that leaving Arizona was the right call. Losing hope made her increasingly unmotivated in her therapy sessions. Late one afternoon, Callie returned to the Torres Estate after driving around for hours, trying to fill her head with anything but Africa or Arizona. Both topics depressed her.

She walked into the sprawling estate via the service entrance by the kitchen, hoping to avoid her mother. She saw Anna busily cooking. "You're finally back, Miss Callie," the older woman noted. "Your mother will be happy. She said to let you know dinner will be at 7:00 and to dress more formally. She suggested maybe a nice dress." Anna paused, knowing her next words would not be welcomed. "Your father is bringing home another business associate for dinner."

Callie pinched the bridge of her nose as she felt a killer headache coming on, exacerbated by her parents' meddling. She clenched her teeth, spouting, "I'm not going. I already told my mother I'm done being the center of another pity party, sitting through a bunch of bullshit, where she insists on shoving people into my life and forcing me to have empty conversations because she thinks it will be ' _good for me'_." Callie air-quoted the phrase. "I would have thought she would have exhausted her list by now. This is bullshit! I'm done. And I won't be at dinner."

Anna nodded sadly, "I'll let your mother know."

Her head was now pounding furiously. "I'm going to take a nap," Callie said, storming from the kitchen. "I'll eat later," she barked uncharacteristically at Anna.

It was dark out when Callie woke. It took a few moments for her to get her bearings. The clock read 8:38pm. Her headache was better. Her stomach was now complaining. Its grumbling reminded her she hadn't eaten lunch either. She needed to eat something before the headache returned. She hoped Anna was still around; she owed the woman an apology for her earlier outburst. Callie pulled her hair into a messy ponytail, and threw on her shirt and shorts, tiptoeing down the stairs to avoid her parents' notice.

As she surreptitiously snaked through the hall, she heard laughter from the dining room. When she heard the voice, it angered her. She must be imagining things; she was sure of it. She picked up her pace en route to the kitchen, certain she was just light-headed and needed food. Again, she heard the laughter. Furious and unable to ignore it, she walked over the dining room entrance, and peeked in.

Angry, Callie barged through the doors, disbelieving who she saw. "What are you doing here?" she screamed.

Arizona Robbins was sitting at the dining room table between her parents, right across from Callie's empty place setting. Arizona turned pale white, unprepared for Callie's unwelcoming response. Tears pricked at the blonde's eyes as she sputtered, "I...I…"

Carlos stood, coming to the defense of their guest. "We invited her, Mija. Dr. Robbins is our guest, please treat her as one," her father demanded, surprised and embarrassed by his daughter's inappropriate tantrum.

Arizona couldn't be here. She shouldn't be here, not in her mess of a life. Callie turned to her father. "What right did you have to invite her here?" Callie demanded. "I specifically told her I didn't want to see her," Callie spewed.

Arizona shouldn't be here. Didn't her parents understand? She was broken and irreparable. Callie couldn't decide who made her angrier - her parents for inviting Arizona or Arizona for accepting their invitation.

Callie glanced at Arizona before swiftly averting her eyes. It was too painful to see the sadness pooling in the blue eyes.

Arizona stood silently dejected. Her greatest fear was coming true. Did Callie no longer want her?

Lucia interceded, and approached her daughter. The older woman knowingly smiled, questioning, "Really, Calliope? You don't want her here? I was certain I heard you wish for your Arizona to be here."

Confusion painted Callie's face. She turned and stared briefly at her mother before gazing at the ceiling, lost for words.

"Who do you think taught you about Ptolemy?" Lucia asked. "I heard you last week, on the veranda. I didn't say anything because, well, I didn't want to hear _those_ words. I tried to ignore your wish, worried you were going to burn in Hell. But, over these past few days, I can no longer ignore the fact that you are already living in your own private hell. This can't be what God wants for you. I can't watch you suffer anymore, Mija. I won't."

Lucia stepped closer to her daughter, cupping her daughter's cheeks in her hands, forcing Callie to look at her. Brown eyes met brown eyes. "Bringing Dr. Robbins here was the only way I knew to help you. She didn't cause this, but she is the only person who I believe can help you escape it."

Tears streamed down Callie's cheeks. Her mother actually heard her. Using her thumbs, Lucia wiped away the tear drops.

Carlos lightheartedly scolded, "Calliope, is that anyway to greet your friend? That is not how we raised you." Lucia nodded in agreement, turning her daughter around so she could face Arizona.

Arizona looked compassionately at Callie, stepping around the table, within an arm's length. "Trust me, Calliope, all this baggage is not too much for _ **us**_ to handle _ **.**_ " Tearfully _ **,**_ Callie pulled Arizona into a hug, certain she would never let go.

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 **A/N 3:** Ptolemy was a Greek astronomer and geographer. He was initially introduced in _Let It Be_. _"According to Ptolemy (1st century A.D.), when there are shooting stars the gods will be looking down on us and listening to our wishes…...you must say your wish out loud!"_ from the Library of Congress _Wishing upon the Shooting Stars: The Geminid Meteor Shower_

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	9. Chapter 9

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 **Chapter 9**

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Robert brought Arizona's luggage to a spacious corner room on the guest wing of the mansion. Each night, after rumpling her bed sheets, Callie made the trek to Arizona's bed and crawled in, sleeping better each time. The nightmares ceased immediately. As the fatigued diminished, Callie's wellness improved two-fold. Nobody, except Callie, was surprised by the immediate healing effect Arizona's presence had on her. Dr. Smith noted, "Don't underestimate the progress you've made here, Callie. You've been in therapy for a few weeks. I'm glad you are starting to see how it's helping you."

The counselor pointed out how Arizona's apartment and the Robbin's home were both new, unfamiliar locations, causing the subconscious fear. Her childhood home, while it had a history of security for Callie, now created a sense of sadness and uncertainty due to her mother's lack of acceptance of her sexuality and by extension, of Arizona. This tension allowed the nightmares to creep into her mind at night, even at the Miami estate. Callie was shocked by Lucia's invitation to Arizona. It gave Callie's subliminal thoughts the strength to quash her nighttime demons.

A week later, Arizona awoke in the middle of the night to find Callie madly scribbling in a notebook. "Calliope?"

"He was my friend. I didn't know him, but the second man, another guard, said he was my friend," Callie explained. "The first guard grabbed me from behind. I tried to get away. We were struggling. He banged my head on the sink. I was dizzy. The second man walked in and startled the guy. The bastard angrily shoved me away. Next thing I knew I was on the floor. The two men were viciously arguing. I remember the second guy was irate; he went bat-shit. He grabbed the awful guard by the throat and pushed him against the wall, saying, ' _Touch her again and people will hurt you and your family._ ' I remember all of it. The guard panicked and said, ' _But Rivas, you don't know Rivas. He'll kill me'._ The other man said, ' _Tell Rivas what he needs to hear, but if she is harmed in any way, touch her one more time and someone is going to hurt you and your family. Trust me. A lot of people are watching out for Dr. Torres and you have a price on your head,'_ the second man threatened."

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The two left Callie's next therapy session, hand in hand. "What do you think, Calliope? Is it enough; the pieces - are they enough?" Arizona asked, concerned her girlfriend would be unable to break free of the cycle of grief and guilt she was caught in.

Callie pondered her answer. "He, this anonymous friend, threatened to hurt the guy's family. I know the guard was a bastard, but...I don't know," she exhaled dejectedly. "I guess I would like to know for certain what happened to that ass who worked for Rivas, if anything. I wonder if he is alright...It's just I don't want to be responsible for any more harm."

Arizona stared at Callie wide-eyed, extremely frustrated with her big-hearted girlfriend. "First of all, you're the victim here. You keep forgetting that. You didn't put _ANYONE_ in harm's way. Rivas did. Second of all, do you really need _**those**_ answers? What if the man isn't alright? What if his family was harmed, then what? How are you going to handle it if it's an ugly truth?"

Callie shook her head, "I don't know," she said discouragingly. "How do I live with any of this?" This was one predicament even Carlos Torres' money couldn't resolve. Only Callie could. In her naiveté, she was tricked into indirect association with a child slavery ring that ran rampant in that corrupt country. She penalized herself by wallowing in her own blame.

Looking up at her girlfriend, Arizona stood tall, placing her hands on her hips. "The country is run by crooks, you know that. Even the United Nations hasn't been able to change the place. You didn't stand a chance!"

She pulled Callie into a secure embrace, pleading with her, "You have a tremendous heart, Calliope. It's what made me fall in love with you in Bata. It only took a couple days for you to leave me smitten. As much as it is in your nature, you can't save everyone from the world's asses. And you certainly can't take on the pain of others out of guilt. Now's the time to be selfish. If you can't, I will. I love you and I'm not losing you again," Arizona resolutely stated.

Arizona paused a moment, taking stock in her girlfriend's contemplative reaction. She mellowed her approach, "You're finally healing, Calliope. Look how far you've come with counseling. If you need to keep going to therapy forever, so be it. Bata doesn't operate under the same principles as we do. You need to remember that. You helped a lot of people over there. You saved so many. Look, because of you so many more people are _**still**_ getting help and support. They were just paying you back the best way they knew how. You answered your big question; no one hurt you, at least sexually. You had no control over anything else. Let it go. Let Africa go."

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Callie laid by the pool, opening her eyes when she heard the French doors shut. A smile spread across her face as Arizona sauntered toward her. Arizona was right; it was together that they figured this out. The last few weeks were unquestionably healing. Callie was happy and everyone knew it. Her transformation was a relief to all, especially herself.

She put most of Africa behind her. Sure, there would always be the _what-ifs_ _and I-wonder_ moments. There were sporadic pangs of guilt. But she pushed those thoughts out. Therapy was teaching her how to manage it. She never intentionally hurt anyone. In Bata, those in need continued to receive the support of the Torres Foundation. She could live with that. She would live with that.

Arizona sat down beside her on the lounge chair. "Hey, Beautiful," she said as she leaned in to kiss Callie.

"How are your parents?" Callie asked, knowing her girlfriend just spent the last half hour checking-in with Barbara and Daniel Robbins.

"Happy because I'm happy," Arizona said as she took Callie's hand in hers. "They said 'Hi'. Of course, my mother wants to know when _**we'll**_ be back. I told her I didn't know...I'd like to visit them. Together."

Callie pursed her lips, "The thought of seeing your parents again makes me nervous. I didn't make a very good first impression."

"You won my mom over the moment you snatched my phone at the restaurant. And she's relieved you've sorted out what happened, at least the important parts," Arizona shared.

"And your dad?" Callie asked.

Arizona shrugged, "I don't know. But once he spends some more time with you, he'll love you, too."

Callie remembered her post dinner chat with Colonel Robbins, suspecting it would now take more than just words to win over Arizona's father.

Arizona forced a smile, knowing that Callie would always be left with some uncertainty, but it wasn't in regards to her welfare. They were moving beyond Africa, finally. "Don't worry about my parents yet. I told them we were still figuring it out….What is our plan, Calliope?"

"I think it's time to take a break from Miami and get some real R&R. This sneaking around at midnight is exhausting. I feel like a teenager again. I'm much too old to be living with my parents and their scrutiny," Callie stated playfully, though her intent was genuine.

"I don't think you've fooled anyone, Calliope. You've slept in my bed every night since I arrived. Your parents aren't stupid."

"No, they aren't. My present state has left my parents with quite the conundrum. I can only imagine their conversations about me...and us," Callie discouragingly said.

Arizona furrowed her brow, "Why? Things are great, aren't they? You're happy again. That's what your mother said she wanted when she called, asking me to help them get ' _ **their Calliope'**_ back,'" Arizona explained.

Callie shrugged. "They say be careful what you wish for with good reason. I may be 'their Calliope', but I'm also 'your Calliope'. And I am extremely happy, especially with you back in my life," she said as she fiddled nervously with Arizona's fingers. "They need to share. Neither of my parents knows how to manage...us, which is why they are now in the _don't ask, don't tell_ mode of operation."

Confused, Arizona replied, "I still don't understand the problem."

Callie sported a discouraged smile. "Take my dad. He likes you. He even likes you with me. He's said as much. But that's the problem. He's trying to ignore you and I are doing it."

Arizona smirked, "Well, we are doing it, frequently."

"Exactly! If he acknowledges we are...' _doing it'_ then that totally goes against his morals, particularly when ' _it_ ' is happening under his roof," Callie said in exasperation. "I mean if you were a man, he would have tossed you out by now."

Arizona furrowed her brow, whispering with dramatic flair, "Are you saying if I want to have s-e-x with the daughter of Carlos Torres, in his house, I need to make an honest woman out of her first?"

Callie giggled, "Perhaps. I'm not sure what he wants. Some of this is new territory for him. Not me being in a serious relationship, me being in a serious relationship with a woman. I think what he wants is not to know too much. He's adjusting. It still kind of freaks him out."

"Well, I guess should take some solace in the fact your father is chivalrous, not holding me to the exact standards as the former men in your life. I'm afraid to ask where your mother stands on this," Arizona declared with annoyance.

Callie shook her head in frustration. "She doesn't acknowledge our relationship includes romance and sex. In her archaic head, she is justifying your presence here as a friend who is a girl. I'm sure she has an inkling that we are sleeping together. She's convinced herself and others that we're just having an old fashioned, endless slumber party. She just can't deal with us as lovers. That's how she is managing this right now."

Arizona couldn't hide her incredulity. Her own parents initially had their concerns with her relationship with Callie, but at least it had nothing to do with asinine optics and ignorance. "You can't be serious? We're not fawning all over each other, but we haven't been all that discreet with the PDA either."

"Totally serious. So I'm handling it by totally taking advantage of the fact that they are over the moon in seeing me happy again, knowing they're not going to say anything to upset me just yet," Callie deduced. "But at some point, they will surely bring it up."

Arizona raised her eyebrows at the absurdity of the whole scenario, right down to Callie messing her sheets each night and then sneaking into Arizona's bed. Needing a change in ludicrous subjects, Arizona eagerly asked, "You want to take a real vacation? I'd love that."

"I've always wanted to go back to Playa del Carmen. I went as a kid. It's beautiful. Dr. Smith said I could scale back. She suggested some time away from my parents and just with you might be a good idea."

"I've never been to Playa del Carmen. A couple weeks of just you and me on a beach, absolutely!" Arizona paused, cautiously noting, "At some point, we do need to talk about after that. How….what happens next...for us. And my parents, we need to visit to them. When we were there last, we left things...unsettled. My dad, he's skeptical about us."

Callie crossed her arms defensively, "No, he adores you. He has a problem with me. He warned me not to hurt you, but I did."

Arizona warmly smiled, "Calliope, my dad is a lot of hot air. He's really a great dad. He'll see the real you this time. You're better. Can we go back to California, just for a few days at some point soon?"

Callie anxiously nodded. "Yeah, we can. We should."

"Okay," Arizona beamed. "But let's not worry about it today. Today, let's just talk about our trip."

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Arizona entered the dining room alone. Lucia was already seated, having her morning coffee. "Good morning," the older woman greeted.

"Good morning, Mrs. Torres."

Neither woman was good at engaging the other in anything more than small talk. Usually Carlos or Callie was present, bridging the uncomfortable gap.

To Lucia, Arizona was the woman leading her daughter astray. She was also the woman who saved Calliope when her daughter seemed beyond help.

To Arizona, Lucia was just another narrow-minded homophobe. But she was also the loved mother of her girlfriend.

Both women sipped their coffee, quietly mulling their predicaments. "I'll send someone up to get your luggage," Lucia offered after a lull.

"Actually, I left it in the foyer," Arizona replied. Seeing Lucia frowned, she added, "It was just one small suitcase." Nonetheless, it was not how things worked in the Torres house.

Just then, Callie breezed into the dining room, all smiles and bouncy. "Morning!" She sat down in her designated spot, across the table from Arizona.

"You look like you slept well again last night," Lucia noted approvingly, finally seeing her daughter's face free of dark circles and weariness.

Callie blushed. In fact, she didn't get a lot of sleep last night - but she did eventually sleep well.

Watching her girlfriend's tongue-tied reaction, Arizona decided she would answer Lucia's question. "We did sleep well, thank you."

Lucia choked on the bite toast she was chewing. Callie eyes went wide, surprised at Arizona's forthright response. Arizona sat smugly, her eyes twinkling as she impishly peered over the rim of her coffee cup. She proudly and honestly answered the question that Callie and her parents seemed to be dodging. Carlos walked in on the awkward scene. "Lucia? Are you alright?" he asked worriedly as his wife sputtered as she swallowed the dry toast.

"I just had a bit of trouble swallowing that last bite," she answered, her sober eyes connecting with Arizona's roguish ones. "I'm fine," Lucia responded.

"Good, good," Carlos said as he took his seat, still trying to assess the room's mood. "So Calliope, are you and Arizona all set for the trip? You've made arrangements at The Presidential, right?" The Presidential was his hotel in Playa del Carmen.

"Daddy, we're not staying at the hotel. We're staying a small cabana with a private beach. It's off the beaten track."

"Really?" Carlos couldn't understand why his daughter would forgo the lavish accommodations at her disposal.

"Daddy, Arizona and I need some time alone. At the hotel, it will be like being in a fishbowl. I'm a Torres. Arizona and I will be on display; our every move scrutinized. We won't get a moment's peace. They will be so afraid to leave us be, wanting to make sure they are catering to our every whim. We'll be smothered. At this place, we'll have our privacy. Plus, it has a small kitchen so I can cook or we can drive into town for meals."

"Carlos, it makes sense. There's no point in drawing attention to Calliope." Lucia quickly justified, "Like she said, it won't be very relaxing."

Carlos raised his eyebrows. "If that's what you want...Are you sure the place is decent? I can make some calls. I know people-"

"-Daddy, please don't. The reservation is not even in my name. I'm booked under Callie Robbins." Lucia's mouthful of coffee sprayed out.

"Excuse me," Lucia said as she quickly blotted her mess.

Callie smirked at her mother's reaction. "I'm traveling incognito this trip. That's all. You can relax, Mom. I'm not sneaking off to Vegas again.

"Okay, I get it." Carlos replied, as held his hands up defensively, not wanting to broach the concept of his daughter contemplating another committed relationship. "So you'll be back when?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you both about that. Arizona and I are planning on flying directly to LA after Mexico," Callie explained.

"What about your therapy?" Lucia asked worriedly. "Don't you think you should be staying in Miami a bit longer?"

"We're traveling with Dr. Smith's blessing. I've been going to counseling for a couple months now. I'm going to call in every few days. If I have any issues, I'll either fly back or she'll set me up with someone local. And Arizona has been coming to my sessions with me. Dr. Smith thinks she'll know if I start going crazy again," Callie teased.

"So you two are..." Lucia stopped, lost for words.

Like mother, like daughter, Callie too was speechless, unable to honestly answer her mother, worried at her mother's response.

Arizona and Carlos looked at each other, both well aware of the problem. It was time to acknowledge that Callie and Arizona were in a romantic relationship and the two were ready to find their way together.

"If we are still living in this happy bubble after our trip," Arizona joked, "we're going to visit my parents for a few days. The plan is to spend some time at my apartment after that and talk about our future. Together. As a couple." Arizona gestured to Callie and herself. "We're not dropping off the face of the earth. We'll stay in touch and let you know how we are doing," Arizona reassured.

An uncomfortable silence hung in the dining room. "Well, that sounds like a good plan," Carlos said, breaking the quiet. Lucia nodded, knowing at some point Calliope would be leaving. Her daughter was better, much better. Even Lucia could not dispute Arizona was instrumental in helping Callie turned the corner. She just wasn't ready to verbalize her thoughts quite yet.

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 ** **Author's Note:**** My thanks to Cycworker for her ongoing beta efforts. However, mistakes are mine, I'm always making changes up to the last minute. Equatorial Guinea does have human rights issues (www dot hrw dot org). Thank you to all who are continuing to read, follow, and/or review this story. I truly appreciate it!

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	10. Chapter 10

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 **Chapter 10**

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Arizona pulled into the familiar driveway, this time in a sleek, black Jaguar. Callie loved to spoil her with sporty rentals. In Mexico, they drove a dune buggy. Arizona tooted the horn a couple times. It was a superfluous gesture. In all likelihood, her mother had been perched by the window all morning.

Both women, all fully rested and tanned after their trip to Mexico, exited the car. Callie reached behind the seat grabbing two gift bags and her suitcase. "I don't think I'm ready," she nervously said.

Arizona playfully grinned as she tilted her head to the left. "It's too late to worry about that." Both her parents were waiting on the top stoop. Slowly, Arizona and Callie made their way to the stairs.

Barbara immediately rushed down the steps, throwing her arms around both women, wiping clean the last months of separation and hardship. Tears trickled down Callie's cheeks, "Mrs. Robbins," she croaked as she handed over one of the gift bags holding a bottle of fancy wine. "I'm-"

"-Hush dear, you're here now," Barbara reassuringly said. "That says all that needs to be said."

"Ahhem," Colonel Robbins cleared his throat a few moments later, waiting longer for acknowledgement than he preferred.

"Daddy!" Arizona called out. She hopped up the steps and greeted her dad with a huge bear hug.

Callie reluctantly pulled away from Mrs. Robbins and turned her attention to the Colonel, "Hello, Colonel. This is for you." Callie handed the older man a gift bag which held the finest bottle of brandy she could find. "For later, sir. I suppose you will want to talk again."

Daniel peeked in the bag, offering a slight grin of satisfaction. He was impressed by its contents. "I suppose I will, Ms. Torres," he replied assuredly.

"Let's eat," Barbara decided. "Daniel, would you bring their bags upstairs?" she requested, not that he actually had a choice. "Look at the two of you, so tanned and rested. You both look marvelous. The trip did you wonders. Now, tell me all about Mexico," she lovingly pressed, as she wrapped an arm around each woman's waist.

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"Mom, we can't eat another thing," Arizona said firmly after lunch. "I think I'll take Callie on the West trail and walk some of this off or else there will be no room for dinner."

Barbara Robbins frowned, "Well, if you must...but don't be gone all afternoon. I'd like to spend some time with you, too," she playfully demanded.

Callie interjected, "We can stay, Arizona."

Arizona rolled her eyes, "Mom, we'll back in a little bit. I know it's Callie you want to spend time with, not me. I promise you can have her all to yourself when Dad and I go for our run."

Barbara grinned at her daughter's astute supposition as she handed both women a bottle of water. "See you soon, ladies."

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"Hi," a nervous voice called out from the kitchen entryway few hours later. Daniel Robbins commandeered his daughter outside, leaving Callie to fend for herself as she entered the kitchen. Callie shored her confidence and entered the house solo to face Arizona's mother.

"Callie, you're back. Come in," Barbara said welcomingly as she peered over her shoulder. Mrs. Robbins was chopping vegetables at the counter. Sensing trepidation in Callie's voice, the older woman turned, "Do I make you nervous? I hope not."

Callie's eyes were immediately drawn to the sharp utensil still in the older woman's grasp, which Barbara unconsciously waved as she spoke. "Well, ummm….Mrs. Robbins, maybe a little," Callie uneasily acknowledged. Mesmerized by the knife, she asked, "You wanted to talk?"

"Oops." Barbara realized the source of Callie's distraction and quickly placed the knife on the counter. "Callie," the older woman said, as she approached the brunette, placing a hand on each shoulder. "Relax. First, I don't want to talk, per se. It sounds like you've been doing a lot of that lately. I just wanted to spend some time together. My intuition tells me we'll be seeing a lot of you."

Callie blushed, "I hope so."

Barbara promptly responded, "That being the case, let's drop the formalities. Please, call me Barbara," the older woman requested. "So, are you any good in the kitchen? I could use a hand making dinner."

Callie beamed, "I love to cook."

Barbara clapped her hands as she joyously replied, "Alleluia!" The thought of her daughter spending a lifetime eating boxes and boxes of mac & cheese was disheartening. "Tell me what you like to cook…."

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* * *

Arizona and her dad walked the last quarter mile to wind down after their late afternoon run. "Dad, you better be nice to Callie this trip. You make her really nervous and that says something because her dad can be super intimidating."

"Arizona, I'm -" he said as he tried to justify his actions.

"-Dad, she's been through a lot. She's still here. And I really like her."

"Just like her?" the Colonel challenged.

"You know what I mean." Arizona placed both hands on her hips and stared her father down, "Seriously. She's not going anywhere without me. She's definitely the one. I told you that before and it's still true. I love Callie. If you scare her off, we're both going," she threatened, her gaze never wavering from her father. "I want her to be comfortable with you and Mom," she softly added.

"Okay."

"That's it? Okay?" she asked, surprised her father backed off so easily.

"That's it. She came back and that tells me what I need to know."

"Okay," Arizona replied with a huge grin.

* * *

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* * *

Daniel, Barbara, Arizona and Callie all gathered at 5:00pm. Cocktail hour and the dinner following it were just as fun as last time. Arizona smiled in relief that her parents didn't make this awkward for Callie. Everything was going well until Barbara Robbins stood to clear the dinner dishes.

"Callie, why don't we go sit on the porch," the Colonel suggested. Arizona's eyes darted nervously to her dad. She turned pleadingly to her mom. Her mother merely shrugged as she continued to collect the dirty dishes.

Callie stiffened. "Yes, sir," she replied obediently as she made her way outside.

Colonel Robbins poured two glasses of brandy from the extremely expensive bottle, handing one to the brunette. "Very nice," the older man commented as he savored his initial sip.

Callie's pores were oozing anxiety. She gulped her first taste and finished the glass with her second swig. Colonel Robbins eyes went wide seeing the younger woman drain the fine brandy so rapidly. "Young people have no understanding on how to enjoy the finer things in life," he grumbled. "Each sip is meant to be savored, to be enjoyed. How can you appreciate anything if you just rush in?" the older man questioned.

Callie's eyes went wide as she realized her faux-pas. She placed the snifter on the ground next to her, deciding there was no adequate response so she stayed silent. This was not going how she had hoped.

After a few moments of uncomfortable quiet, Colonel Robbins spoke. "So, Callie, you're back."

"Yes sir, I'm definitely back," she replied confidently.

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* * *

Arizona grinned. She loved how the morning sun streamed through her window, caressing her cheek. Her arm was still wrapped securely around Callie, who she heard gently snoring. Between yesterday's hike, her mother's late-night gabbing and her father's endless after dinner drinks, poor Callie was wiped out. Arizona finally opened her eyes, confidently gazing at the sight of her girlfriend peacefully sleeping. She never doubted that it would be together that they would figure it out.

Old habits die hard. In her childhood bed she didn't dare rollover and go back to sleep. After easing out of the cozy covers, she made sure Callie was all tucked in. Arizona pulled on a pair of boxers, slid her feet into her slippers and yanked an oversized sweatshirt from high school over her head, surprised her mother had held on to it after all these years.

As she closed her bedroom door quietly, Arizona found herself face to face with Tim's bedroom door. She turned to follow the scent of fresh coffee, taking a few steps, but stopped. Doing an about face, she confronted the door, placing her hand on the knob.

Arizona slowly turned the doorknob, pushing the door open. She waited, stalled at the entrance and stared at the familiar space. To the naked eye, the room was timeless, a throwback to high school years. But everything _had_ changed. Except Barbara Robbins didn't see the point of undoing what gave her comfort, so the space remained as it always was - Tim's bedroom.

His _Die Hard_ and _Beavis and Butt-Head_ posters still hung on the wall. The patchwork, handmade quilt of his favorite sports teams still covered the bed. Dusty trophies stood tall on the shelf. And the stale scent of boy vaguely hung in the air, presumably from the sweaty socks and smelly sneakers that spent years carelessly lying about the floor.

Arizona knew if she peaked in the closet, Tim's trademark red Converse high tops would still be sitting there, along with his baseball glove and his revered collection of Sports Illustrated magazines. She smirked, remembering the time she first discovered the swimsuit edition in the mailbox, and conveniently forgot to give it to Tim for a few days. Once she distracted him with the highlights, he forgot how mad he was at her. Reading _that_ issue together became an annual ritual. As Arizona walked to the bed, she felt the tears pooling, but swallowed them.

After sitting a moment, she picked up a worn stuffed dog and started talking to it. "So, I just wanted to say hi. I know it's been a long time since I checked in and I'm sorry. I just wasn't ready. But I'm good now...I..ahh...I wanted to tell you about this girl I met. Well, she's actually a woman. She's awesome. You'd totally like her….And yeah, she's hot. I'm telling you _that_ because I know that would be the first question out of your mouth. Callie, that's her name. Callie is smart, too. She's an amazing orthopedic surgeon. I bet she could have fixed your knee up as good as new and you wouldn't have lost out on that scholarship and maybe…" Arizona stopped talking, needing a moment to compose herself.

"So I think she's the one. I've never said that about anyone before. I'm pretty sure she thinks the same thing. We haven't specifically talked about it yet. It's been a little nuts. But we're gonna talk...soon. And guess what? She even wants kids and she can cook! So of course Mom is crazy about her. Can you imagine maybe your nephew sleeping in this bed one day? It still kind of weirds me out thinking about that, but then I get all warm and fuzzy and I know it's all good. Who knows, maybe he'll like football, too. And Dad, he's trying to be all Mr. Tough-Guy, but he loves Callie. She actually makes him smile." Arizona paused a minute, beaming. Callie made her smile, too.

Arizona continued her conversation, "We met in Africa of all places. It's a wacky story. I'll tell you that one next time. I'll bring the tequila….Ummm, soooo...I'm gonna go. I can smell coffee and I need a cup. Dad had us drinking a lot of brandy last night. I'm not sure why he even drinks that crap…..Hey Timmy, I hope you're good. When I look at the sky at night, I'm sure you're watching out for me. I hope so because it helps me not miss you so much." Arizona tenderly placed the much-loved dog back to its sentinel spot on the pillow and walked out the door, shutting it tight.

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* * *

"Morning dear," Barbara said as she handed Arizona a cup of coffee. "Is Callie on her way down?" Barbara asked, as she grabbed a second mug from the cabinet. She realized Arizona entered the kitchen alone.

Arizona shook her head. "No, she's still sleeping. I don't think we'll see her for a while." She teased, "How times have changed. She can sleep like the dead these days."

"Oh. I thought I heard you two talking," Barbara said as she returned the mug to the shelf on the cabinet.

"Ahh,...ummmm…. that was me. I was talking...to Tim, sort of." Arizona's eyes glistened with the confession. "I needed to talk to him somehow, so I went in his room…..finally."

Barbara leaned against the counter, arms crossed and she sympathetically smiled as she felt her own sadness embrace her.

"I miss him, Mom. And I wanted him to know I'm finally happy again. It's been so long. I wanted to tell him about Callie. I didn't even know how to tell him, so I told that stupid dog of his."

Barbara chuckled as she sat down by her daughter, placing her hands on Arizona's, "Charley. He loved that poor, old stuffed animal. He couldn't sleep without it for years. It's okay, Arizona. I miss him, too. His room is full of so many memories. Memories I don't want to lose quite yet. So I go in there and just sit. Depending on what I remember, I cry or laugh. Much like that first night Callie was here for dinner, I try to remember the good things."

Arizona looked at her mom, smiled. "Don't change his room, Mom. Ever. Okay? It just feels like he's there. Maybe he's haunting it," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. "That would be a Tim thing to do."

Barbara grinned. "Maybe he is. Alright, I won't change a thing. Perhaps I should go in and dust and vacuum next week, just in case. It's been awhile. This way Tim will know we are still thinking about him." Each woman held an understood moment of silence. She asked, "So, how would you like your eggs, dear?"

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It was the third day of their visit. The two women planned to leave the next morning for Arizona's apartment. It was time to move on with life, whatever that next move was to be. They had yet to talk about anything in regards to their future. During their trip to Mexico, they conveniently ignored those topics. It was the first time they were truly on their own, away from parents, doctors and nightmares. Each day on their vacation to Mexico, they freely consumed each other, reaffirming more and more that they were meant to be together. Now, in California, their connection only felt stronger.

As Callie and Arizona reached the waterfall, it was a different feeling this time. No anxiousness, no ambivalence, no trepidation.

The two sat with their feet dangling in the cool stream as they watched the water cascade down the rocks and the hot sun beat against their backs. "So you survived our visit with my parents. It hasn't been too bad, has it?" Arizona wondered.

Callie smiled, "It's been great."

"As much as I hate to break the happy bubble we're living in, it's time to figure our life. We can't stay on vacation forever, Calliope."

"Actually, we can. Trust fund baby, remember?" Callie joked. "But I don't want to," the brunette quickly clarified.

"We're leaving tomorrow. So, what's next, for us? I mean once we get to my apartment, we need to talk about us," Arizona sheepishly commented.

Pulling a box from her pocket, Callie presented it to Arizona. "Marry me," she said.

Arizona stayed silent, shocked by the request as she stared at the black velvet box waiting in Callie's palm. Her eyes darted from the box to Callie's face. Finally, she nervously took the box, opening it warily. Arizona gasped as she stared at the ring sparkling at her. "This is my Grandma Robbins' ring," she squeaked in total surprise.

"It is. Your dad gave it to me."

"My dad?...You discussed this with my dad?"

Callie nodded. "I did. I talked to your dad the other night. Actually, I had planned to buy a ring. I had an idea in my head of what I'd get, but he mentioned you always loved this one. I can see why. It's gorgeous."

"I do love this ring. I've always wanted it….. My dad...knows you're doing this." Arizona asked incredulously, "You actually asked for his permission to marry me?"

Callie nervously smiled. She wasn't sure whether Arizona was merely surprised or annoyed. "I didn't ask for his permission. I asked for his blessing, as a courtesy. You're certainly not a possession that I need to negotiate for. But your dad is rather traditional. I wanted to respect that," Callie replied in earnest.

"Wow," Arizona said as she ran her fingers through her hair. As much as it was everything she wished for with Callie," suddenly the reality of it was overwhelming. "I didn't see this coming. I mean after everything I figured...I hoped we were sticking together. We hadn't talked about things. But this...marriage..."

Callie looked panic stricken. "You don't want to get married?" she asked forlornly.

"No! Yes!" Arizona yelped.

"What?" Callie asked, totally perplexed.

Arizona threw her arms around Callie, pulling her tight. "Yes! Of course, I want to marry you. I just never expected you to do this right here, right now."

Callie beamed with Arizona's answer and eagerly slid the ring on Arizona's finger. She shared, "Actually, I had another plan in mind, but after speaking with your dad, I decided this was the right time and place. It's beautiful here, in the canyons, Arizona. Asking you here seemed right."

"Does my mom know?" Arizona queried.

Callie shrugged, "I don't know. Is your dad a good secret keeper?"

Arizona beamed, "The best."

Arizona turned contemplative, processing how best to ask Callie an important question. "What's wrong?" Callie asked with concern as she observed Arizona's happy mood diminish.

Biting her lip, Arizona paused nervously, "Well, does this mean I should go to Miami and ask your dad for his blessing?"

Callie's eyes popped open, "Ummm, I'm not sure that's a good idea. Our parents are very different. I mean, I'm not going to hide this from my parents," she said as she held up Arizona's left hand, "But, I can't do that to him. Asking him for his blessing would force my dad to make a choice between his daughter and his religion. It's an impossible decision for him."

Discouraged, Arizona shrugged, "So what do we do, leave your parents out of this? I can't do that."

Callie smiled, "We'll include my parents. We will just handle it differently. My father is a businessman at heart. I think we need to help him find a loophole so he can support us and his faith. It's best that we ask him to just be there, for us. One thing I've learned this past year is my dad believes he can support his daughter and still support his church. What's right for him and right for us are two very different things. I'm not asking him whether or not he believes what we are doing is right. I'm just asking him to keep loving me and be there for us. I'll call him and tell him. When we have our ceremony, he can choose to be there or not."

"Okay," Arizona smiled, understanding what Callie meant. "How about your mom?"

Callie shrugged, "Who knows. She won't say much, at least to us. Behind the scenes, I'm sure she'll be freaking out for a while. It takes her longer to come around. She did call you. She's the reason we are sitting here today. I know she loves me. She might challenge me and my beliefs, but she still has chosen to be part of my life. Fortunately, it's hard for her to walk away from love. And she might not love you yet, but she will. She does respect you. You did what she couldn't - you made the difference in me getting through all the bad stuff. Until my mom can get there on her own, I think she'll go along with my father. It will depend on what he does. On a positive note, we'll have free reign on the wedding plans. I don't think my mom will be interfering with any of the arrangements!" Callie joked.

"I'm sure my mother will drive us crazy enough," Arizona groaned. "Get ready. We are unleashing a cyclone. She's been waiting a lifetime for this. After Tim died, she figured she had a better chance at winning the lottery, than me getting married."

Callie stood, smiling at Arizona's silly worries. In her book, this was a good problem to have. She reached down pulled Arizona up by the hand. "I'm not worried one bit. C'mon, let's go unleash Cyclone Barbara."

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Barbara Robbins was puttering in the garden when she heard giggling in the distance. Dropping her trowel, she brushed the dirt from her slacks and pulled off over gardening gloves before standing. Using the back of her hand, she wiped the rogue tear from her eye, lamenting how much she was going to miss those two. "Hi, girls. How was your walk?" she asked as she turned around

Arizona glowed as she strode closer to her mother. Her left hand remained clutched in Callie's right one. The two approached Arizona's mother, playfully nudging each other, sharing adoring looks and silly whispers. Barbara tilted her head, trying to size up the scene. Something was different, she suspiciously deduced. "Alright you two, spill it. You two got into something on that hike."

The women blushed, stopping in their tracks. Barbara thought about her accusation and the affectionate duo standing guiltily before her. Their red faces caused her to blush. "Oh, dear God, you didn't, did you?" she worriedly asked. The path to the waterfall was nicknamed 'Lover's Lane' for a reason and there was no shortage of affection shared between the smitten duo. Something was amiss. "Oh, Arizona. I hope Mr. Jefferson didn't catch you two. He'll be on the phone to your father in no time. That old man has too much damn time on his hands," Barbara ranted.

Her mother's raving only caused Arizona to giggle more. "Arizona, it's not funny," her mother sternly scolded. "Do you not remember the skinny dipping incident with Tim and that girl? The whole trail association got involved. And there were pictures!" her mother frantically reminded her.

"Mom, we didn't do ' _that_ '. Besides, Dad already knows," Arizona drolly explained.

Arizona pulled her hand from Callie's grip and walked closer to her mother, holding her left hand outstretched, her palm facing down.

"Oh my God," Barbara cried out. Happy tears immediately surfaced. "Arizona..." she gasped. The sight of the ring rendered Barbara Robbins speechless. She pulled Arizona into an excited embrace, squishing her daughter with her enthusiasm. Finding her voice, she croaked, "Callie, come here. I need to hug you, too."

After a few moments, Barbara released her grip and stepped back to admire the diamond ring. It finally struck her that she had seen this ring before. It had been in her husband's family for years. It was a stunning two carat stone set in a striking platinum band. She looked curiously at her daughter as she held Arizona's hand, gazing at the beautiful ring. "Did you say your father already knew about this?" Arizona's eyes went wide. Her father was in trouble. Big trouble.

Before either woman knew it, Barbara Robbins was yelling, "Daniel Robbins, you get out here this minute! Daniel, I have a bone to pick with you!" The older woman turned to Callie, who's happy face was now fear stricken. "Don't you worry, dear. This has nothing to do with you. You'll find out soon enough, secrets in a marriage don't fare well - even happy ones!"

Arizona shook her head, smiling. Her dad would chide her later for throwing him under the bus. It just slipped out. And she was wearing a family heirloom, of course he would know. But in the end it wouldn't matter, her parents were ecstatic about the news - and so was she. She was getting married.

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 **Author's Note:** There is one more chapter after this one. For those still reading Let It Go, thank you for sticking with this story. I am very appreciative of the support whether it be by reading, following, favoriting and/or reviewing. Again, Cycworker has been a terrific sounding board for this chapter. I am thankful for her help. I don't do a great job of catching all my mistakes and I truly appreciate her feedback and efforts.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note (1):** This is a very long chapter. Sorry. It started out much shorter, but evolved. I couldn't figure out a place to split it. Hope you enjoy.

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 **Chapter 11**

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 _ **18 years later - Circa 2016**_

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"Mark Timothy, let's go!" The voice echoed up the stairs. "Nap time's over. If you want to get some driving time in, you need to be down here in thirty seconds with your permit."

"Geez. Chill, Mama," flippantly traveled down the stairwell.

It was greeted with agitated silence, which was loud and clear.

Finally, a grumpy "Fine" reverberated down the stairwell.

Arizona stared as all six feet of her almost seventeen year old loped down the stairs. She observed how much he'd grown in the last year, adding five inches to his height. There was no question. Genetically, he was Calliope's son with his beautiful brown eyes and engaging smile. His spunky personality reminded her of Tim, the afternoon snoozes notwithstanding. His quick wit and smartalec comebacks Callie always attributed to his namesake, Mark Sloan. She and Callie loved having those reminders of the much loved men who left this earth far too early. When MT occasionally pushed his mothers to their limits, those memories made it impossible to stay angry.

She pulled her sentimental self together lest he see her unguarded, soft side. Arizona smiled. She loved this job. To think there was a time she never thought she could do it. Certainly, parts of parenting were painfully difficult. MT's broken collarbone. The first time Robby was cut from a team. Torrey's first broken heart. Arizona was sure she suffered more than her children. But when they crawled into her lap and wrapped their arms needily around her neck. Or when they spouted their excitement from victories, large and small. And when they came to her, believing she could make everything right in their world. Well, she wouldn't trade being a mom for anything.

At the moment, she was trying to make a point. She stood tall, hands on her hips and a slightly perturbed look plastered across her face in response to being told to _"Chill."_

Seeing her furrowed brow, the teen answered sheepishly, "Sorry."

"Let's go. We're supposed to meet Grandma and Grampy at baggage claim. You know how Grampy feels about being late." She added, "And none of this five miles over the speed limit either."

"Everyone does it. C'mon, you and Mom go even faster than that," MT argued. "The cops don't ticket for five miles over. Everyone knows that."

Her eyebrows arched. Arizona stared at her son with her mother-knows-best-look. "That's not the point," she replied. He was right, of course. Callie, in particular, enjoyed ' _putting_ _the pedal to the metal'_. She and Callie needed to model better driving habits now that their children were reaching the driving age. She underestimated her son, thinking he was always consumed with his cell phone while in the car. "Silly me. And here I thought you weren't paying attention." Arizona smirked as she reached to tousle his head of black, curly hair. "It's a good thing you're not everyone."

"Shouldn't the girls be helping out? Equal rights and all. Let them be the lumpers for a change," MT complained, still a bit cranky at having been roused from one of his frequent teenage naps for the excursion so he could serve as a bellhop.

"You're really going to play that card with me? Do you see the girls here right now?" His younger sisters, the twins, Catherine and Elizabeth - aka Robby and Torrey - had a field hockey game. Callie was picking them up. She planned to catch the game after she finished up at the hospital.

MT rushed out the door, keys in hand, prodding, "Let's go, Mama. Geez, I'm always waiting for you!" He called out as he slid into the driver's side of the Range Rover, "I'm gonna tell Grampy it was your fault if we're late."

"Not funny, MT, " Arizona said as she trailed her son.

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It was the Saturday before Thanksgiving and Arizona's parents were flying in to join Arizona, Callie and their three children for the holiday. They arrived early so they could spend extra time enjoying their grandchildren, whom they saw less and less of with the advent of teenage activities. It wasn't just the Robbins' who were flying in. Carlos and Lucia Torres had already arrived, but were staying at a hotel in town, where Carlos had some business function this evening.

Callie and Arizona spent years trading off family visits over the Thanksgiving holiday, alternating between Miami and California. Christmas was always a stay-at-home holiday, though family were always welcome to visit and Arizona's parents usually did.

The two women settled on Massachusetts as the place to work. Once engaged, they considered their future. They agreed to settle wherever Arizona found a position that excited her. Children's Hospital in Boston scooped her up after the first interview. Callie held off on seeking full-time employment. As Callie and Arizona looked forward, both agreed now was the right time to start a family. Neither was getting any younger and it would be easier to have children before Callie was immersed in a practice.

After their ceremony in California, Callie delved into house hunting and then decorating tasks, though Arizona stayed involved. As the women met new friends, and colleagues of Arizona, they started socializing more. It was soon discovered that Callie Robbins-Torres and the award winning Dr. Calliope Torres were one in the same. The job found her. Brigham and Women offered Callie a consult position and promised a very flexible schedule when she was ready to return to work full-time. To this day, Callie loved her cutting edge orthopedic position at the prestigious hospital.

As the children came along, three in two years, they decided as long as they could manage it, they would travel over Thanksgiving to see one family and visit the other during the summer break.

Now that Mark Timothy was playing varsity football and the girls made the varsity field hockey team, traveling mid-season was not possible. This year was the first time they wouldn't be traveling for Thanksgiving. Callie and Arizona invited both sets of parents to join the Robbins-Torres clan at their home. It was of no surprise that Arizona's parents would come.

Daniel and Barbara had been actively involved in the lives of the Robbins-Torres family since the very beginning. They held a beautiful backyard celebration at their picturesque canyon home to commemorate the day when the two women publicly proclaimed their relationship as wife and wife, though on paper it was deemed domestic partnership. They didn't need a document and fancy party to prove what their hearts already had committed to, but Callie had dreamed of a fairytale wedding since she was a girl. She was more than ready to usurp the memories of her fiasco in Vegas. Arizona wanted nothing more than to make Callie's dream come true. It was a beautiful outdoor service. Both women were stunning in their traditional wedding gowns. Aria stood by her sister as Maid of Honor. Alex called himself Arizona's Man of Horror, but deep down he was truly touched when she asked him to be her person.

The event was beautifully orchestrated. The wise and wondrous Miranda Bailey officiated the service. Almost all in attendance - essentially Arizona's relatives, along with a smattering of friends - were teary-eyed as their handwritten vows were exchanged. The after-party was a catered, gourmet affair, complete with a bluegrass band that played well into the night with friends and family dancing under the stars.

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Arizona sat 'shotgun' as her kids called it, watching MT confidently drive her SUV to the airport. He was going for his license very soon. It would be a bittersweet day for her when her son would drive solo. While Arizona would always worry, her son was an excellent driver, adeptly managing the chaotic highway into the airport. Her mind drifted to her in-laws as she kept her eyes focused on her son's maneuvering. It surprised her that Carlos and Lucia accepted the invitation for Thanksgiving. She never doubted that Carlos would be a fixture in their lives. He traveled so frequently on business, his visits to the Robbins-Torres' suburban home were common.

But Lucia had never spent a holiday with their family, Arizona mulled. So often her presence in their lives was on Lucia's terms. She would arrive like a whirlwind, the center of attention, armed with a set agenda. It was always a pleasant couple days where they were wined, dined and spoiled as Lucia's guests at spots near whatever hotel she checked into. This week, Arizona worried how her family would fare with the haughty Lucia tagging along in their much less formal lifestyle and sitting at their often boisterous dinner table.

Her mother-in-law struggled trying to mesh new world happenings with her old world values. She attended the original wedding eighteen years ago, robotically playing her part. It was a limited role - Callie knew her mother did not consider whatever was happening in backyard of Daniel and Barbara Robbins as anything remotely close to a marriage. Lucia Torres stood on the sidelines and watched wordlessly. One would never have known she was Callie's mother by her actions that day. Some didn't.

Arizona understood that Lucia's presence at the backyard service was the only concession Callie's mother could make. Arizona inadvertently overheard a conversation as Carlos and Lucia left the rehearsal dinner. It wasn't going to be a "real wedding," she heard the older woman comment to Carlos. "Did any of Calliope's relationships ever last? Why will this be any different?" she challenged.

Arizona's relationship with Lucia was always complicated. She never disliked Lucia. She wanted to say to the older woman on more than one occasion - "You're not a bad person. You've just done a bad thing." She never did, though. The two had a mutual respect for each other, earned when they partnered to help Callie manage Africa. It still stung when she recalled that her future mother-in-law initially assumed her relationship with Callie would fizzle. She observed Carlos shake his head in frustration that night, ignoring his wife's rants. Arizona took solace in the fact that her father-in-law-to-be knew this relationship was different. She prayed that deep down so did Lucia.

"Too close, MT!" Arizona barked suddenly, noticing that her SUV was inching nearer to the car in front of them. Once she was satisfied that MT had allowed for sufficient space, she continued analyzing her mother-in-law's place in their lives.

Arizona smiled, remembering how Lucia evolved. Twelve years ago, Lucia Torres was the consummate hostess at their official wedding. Lucia had no qualms with it not being a church wedding. Her religion was still at odds with gay marriage.

Lucia concluded an official civil ceremony was prudent. Even the skeptical Lucia could not deny that Calliope and Arizona deserved this validation. If the State of Massachusetts was willing to call it a marriage, well then so was she. There were children involved now. Legitimizing the pairing was a safeguard her grandchildren deserved. Lucia spent the second wedding as mother of the bride but mostly as the abuela, a role she cherished.

No one would disagree - in eighteen years; Lucia Torres had come a long way. She didn't visit as frequently as her husband, but she did at least fly in once each year, particularly as the girls got older. And the family trekked to Miami, with the grandchildren even flying in on their own occasionally.

Lucia found herself increasingly drawn to her granddaughters. Initially, the trio found common ground over their mutual love of manicures. Soon after, they discovered a shared love of shopping. It didn't take too many visits for Callie and Arizona to see these outings were merely their excuse to spend time together. As MT pulled into the airport parking garage, Arizona concluded that Lucia accepted Callie's and her relationship. More importantly, she loved her grandchildren and they loved the older woman, who was crusty on the outside and soft on the inside.

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The November week had plenty of activities planned. The highlight for MT was Sunday. Carlos secured tickets for Daniel, himself and MT to go to Gillette Stadium in Foxboro to see the New England Patriots play division rivals, the Miami Dolphins. A gentleman's bet was made between grandfather and grandson. Luxury box or not, not one female in the group wanted to attend the game on the chilly fall day. Between the weather, the traffic and the overall rowdiness, where was the fun, Torrey asked. MT huffed, telling his sister it would be a waste of good tickets for her and Robby to go.

On Sunday, shopping and spas were on the agenda for the women - at Lucia's suggestion. She knew her granddaughters would jump at the chance to add to their wardrobe, visiting some exclusive Boston boutiques.

The grandparents would watch the girls play their last field hockey game of the season on Tuesday. Wednesday, Barbara planned to make the pies, sharing with her grandchildren a few family recipes. Cooking together had become their tradition. Thursday, there would be an early morning flurry of activity in the kitchen, with Barbara and Callie getting all the food prepared for the afternoon's feast. By 10am, the extended family would venture to the high school to watch Mark Timothy play in the traditional Thanksgiving Day high school football game. Each day that week, some family activity was on the agenda. On Saturday, the excitement would abruptly stop as the guests would depart, leaving the house to its normal, day-to-day teenage drama.

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The foursome returned early evening on Saturday from Logan Airport to the Robbins-Torres home in the Boston suburb. Callie eagerly greeted her in-laws in the driveway. "Daniel, Barbara," she exclaimed as she hugged them both. "I hope you're hungry, I just pulled a lasagna and fresh bread out of the oven."

MT grabbed the luggage and made his way into the house first. The group meandered behind, with Callie trying to get Arizona's attention, but to no avail; her wife was immersed in conversation with her dad.

On his way to the guest room, MT passed by his younger sister, Robby, who was laying on the couch with her face covered with a towel. She was usually good-natured and fun teasing between the beloved siblings was common. Under his breath, he quietly commented, "Halloween's over. You know that, right?"

Robby cried out, "Just shut-up, you ' _MT-headed_ ' ass!" That was one of the girls' favorite misnomers for their brother. Mark Timothy absolutely hated it. He was unprepared for the biting remark.

"Oooh, got the fangs out ' _Robweiler_ '," MT whispered.

Arizona and her father walked into the kitchen and overheard her daughter's comment. She scolded in frustration, "Catherine Lucia, do not call your brother an ass." She suspected MT stealthily started it. She had spent years reminding her kids that the retaliator always got caught. Would they ever learn, she wondered.

MT smiled at the rebuke. He won this round. He loved his sister, but he also loved tormenting her. It was like a game, which drove their parents crazy. He had no idea why his sister was so uptight at the moment. Her time of the month, he supposed, which meant he better keep his distance from Torrey as well. That was the problem with twins; things happened in duplicate. He took off for the guest room before she erupted again.

"He...owww...started it," Robby cried.

As soon as they group walked further into the kitchen, they saw a body sprawled on the couch in the adjacent family room, with a large towel covering her face.

Arizona's jaw dropped as she saw her daughter. "Robby! What happened? Calliope, what happened to her?" she asked as she hurried over and knelt down. She lifted the towel, only to discover it was holding a large bag of ice. Arizona exclaimed, "Oh, no."

Robby moaned as her mother groaned.

Callie shrugged at the unluckiness of it all. "An errantly hit field hockey ball caught her right in the nose. It might be broken - look at those eyes. Even if it is, there's not much we can do about it until the swelling goes down." Both eyes had the makings of two, colorful shiners. "I performed a SCAT. I don't think she has a concussion. But just the same, let's watch her tonight. What do you think?"

A distressed Arizona observed her daughter, "Robby, this is not good. You need to keep icing." She looked up at Callie, suggesting, "We might want her to see an ENT on Monday. Just to make sure she doesn't need surgery."

"Surgery! Mama, don't touch it." the girl squealed. Tears of frustration rolled down the teen's cheeks as her mother deftly moved her gentle fingers along her daughter's swollen face. This was going to end her season. Even worse, she was sure she looked like a freak.

Barbara walked over. "Oh darlin', I haven't seen a black eye that impressive on a pretty young girl since your mother," she cackled in an effort to lighten her granddaughter's spirits.

"Mom," Arizona protested, embarrassed at the memory.

A sniffling Robby, asked in surprise, "Mama had a black eye before?"

Daniel chimed in, "But she certainly didn't earn it as honorably as you did." Daniel turned to Arizona, raising his eyebrows, demonstrating his disapproval of his daughter's actions even years later. "Arizona was fighting on school grounds with Bobby Jones. She punched him and he punched her back. Got her right in the eye."

"He was calling me names, Dad." Her two children looked at her, surprised. Arizona spent years promoting self-restraint and taking the high-road. Her penchant for rules left her children assuming their Mama was the perfect child. Little did they know it was Arizona's paranoia of her own children's potential for impetuousness that might possibly parallel her own youth that inspired her strictness.

Arizona clarified, "I know. I shouldn't have punched him. It was a knee-jerk reaction. It just happened. And I got suspended for three days. I couldn't even make honor roll that quarter because of it. But he was mean to me. And it only happened that once. I think Tim had something to do with that," Arizona cheekily smiled, knowing Tim probably scared the bejeesus out of the boy.

MT looked at his mother suspiciously as one skeleton squirmed out of her closet. Feeling bold, the teen asked, "Mama, did you ever smoke pot?"

Arizona's felt her face flush as she stood amidst her parents and children. Her children, in particular, were intrigued, waiting for her answer to the spontaneous question.

Barbara arched her eyebrows in amusement. She knew the answer, stumbling upon it one night when Arizona came home loudly chattering and completely famished. And she was reeking of something that definitely wasn't Marlboro Lights. The older woman was curious how her daughter would respond. Would it be a case of 'do as I say, but not as I did', or a flat out denial? Barbara wondered if an answer was really necessary. Didn't her daughter's facial expression answer her grandson's question already?

As much as Callie enjoyed the light torment Arizona was being subjected to, Callie only let her wife squirm a few more seconds, well aware of Arizona's teenage antics. Having a multigenerational discussion on the pros and cons of marijuana was not how Callie wanted to spend her evening.

The truly audacious stories from either mother's childhood had yet to be divulged to their children. Both women knew it was only a matter of time before this particular question would surface. The mothers were very open with their children, so of course it would be answered if asked. The mothers had the 'sex' talk. When it was his or her turn, each child listened sheepishly, embarrassed by words like condoms, STDs, birth control, dental dams, vaginal, anal, and oral sex. Both mothers spouted the dangers of alcohol, drinking and driving, encouraging each one to call without fear of consequence if he or she was at a party with alcohol or drugs present. With the new laws sprouting up around the country revolving around recreational cannabis use, it was clear another conversation was looming.

"Let's finish this discussion another time. Grammy and Grampy would much rather hear about what you guys are up to, not relive Mama's teenage years," Callie suggested.

Arizona turned to her wife, her smile saying thank you for the rescue. "Good idea. Where's Torrey, by the way?" Arizona asked, looking for her other daughter. "I hope she fared better today."

Callie answered, "She'll be right down, I hope. She must have run out of hot water by now," she drolled. Torrey was their fashion queen, spending endless time in the bathroom and in front of the mirror. Hot and sweaty field hockey games ruined her hair and makeup. Yes, Torrey always looked good on and off the field.

Callie had the twins fifteen years ago. Catherine Lucia Robbins-Torres and Elizabeth Barbara Robbins-Torres, but those given names were rarely used these days. Catherine was older by five minutes. In junior high, the girls' friends started calling Catherine by the name 'Robby' and Elizabeth by the name 'Torrey'.

Neither grandmother took to the nicknames, which were proudly embroidered on the sleeves of their team sweatshirts and jackets. The mothers remained unfazed, initially never thinking the names would stick. Before either knew it, they were calling their daughters by the nicknames as well. The given names, middle included, were reserved for when either girl was in trouble.

"Let's eat," Callie suggested.

It didn't take long for everyone to assemble around the sizeable dining room table and catch up with all the recent news. Barbara and Daniel were frequent visitors to the home so they had no trouble following along. As Barbara watched her daughter and daughter-in-law lovingly interact, she remembered fondly the phone call from Lucia eighteen years ago as she tried to track down Arizona. Using a few of Carlos' connections, Lucia located the residence phone number of one Daniel and Barbara Robbins. Lucia pleaded with Barbara, explaining she desperately needed Arizona's help. Barbara didn't let on how much of Callie's back story she already knew; she merely gave Lucia Torres her Arizona's cell phone number, silently singing the Alleluia Chorus as she recited each digit.

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Sunday morning, Arizona, Callie, Barbara, Robby and Torrey were meeting Lucia at a five star hotel in Boston for brunch. The girls grumbled about having to dress Abuela-appropriate.

Callie reminded them, "We're Abuela's guests today. She doesn't visit very often. Taking you out makes her happy. And I can live without another one of her lectures on proper parenting. You don't want her to send you to etiquette class again, do you?" On one of the girls' Miami visits, Lucia arranged for a couple private lessons, ensuring each girl knew how to set a proper table and which utensil went with which dish and so on. She also arranged for a few dance lessons, including how to waltz.

Both girls went wide-eyed, blurting in unison, "No!"

Callie playfully grinned, "So please, wear something that won't stress her out. Nothing ripped or too short...Remember, _if the Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy,_ " she teased. Callie considered her rebellious youth, thankful her girls didn't go that route. She worked hard to be a compassionate, understanding parent. It seemed to be paying off.

"Nothing ripped or too short? You just described Torrey's entire wardrobe," quipped Robby. Torrey was the more fashionable of the two. Her style was creative and eye-catching, but risqué at times. Robby was happy with hooded sweatshirts, and skinny jeans, paired with colorful converse sneakers.

"Shut Up. You have no clue about good sty," Torrey answered. "You're actually going to have to wear something other than jeans and sneakers for a change."

"I better not see anyone I know. I have to wear a dress and I look like a raccoon," lamented Robby as she stared in the mirror.

Callie piped in, "Which of your friends do you think will be having brunch in Boston today? Remember, it could have been much worse," she said as she lovingly ran her fingers over her daughter's nose. "The swelling has gone down. It's probably superficial, though Mama and I still want you checked out on Monday. Those bruises will hopefully go away pretty fast. I'm sure in another day or two it won't be so tender. You'll be able to cover it with makeup then. By the way, you look good in a dress. I wish you wore them more often."

Robby gave her mom a disgusted look and returned her attention to the mirror.

Deep down the girls were excited to spend the day in Boston. Their abuela shopped in the really nice stores, stores Callie and Arizona rarely took their daughters to. Callie and Arizona didn't spoil their children; both were aware of those less fortunate. The mothers tried to model a less extravagant lifestyle. But there was no accounting for grandparents who lived to dote on their grandchildren. The two grandmothers complimented each other.

Whether it be in Miami or Massachusetts, Lucia left the spoiling of Mark Timothy to Carlos, which he did well. Carlos exposed MT to every sporting event imaginable. The teen had experienced every sport from deep sea fishing to the Grand Prix in Monte Carlo - his treat for his grandson's sixteenth birthday. Though, football remained MT's favorite.

Lucia always took the girls out on the town, often for manicures, shopping or dining. She planned to bring them to Paris this summer to celebrate their sixteenth birthday. She felt it was her duty to ensure both granddaughters grew up to be proper, worldly young ladies. Callie was overjoyed her mother had decided to be a part of their lives so she overlooked Lucia's extravagance.

Barbara, on the other hand, spent her time more informally and more frequently in the suburban home. She easily knew her way around town and had met most of the kids' friends at this point. She told bedtime stories, shared time in the kitchen and even played board games with her three grandchildren, thankful every day her dream of being a grandmother was resurrected when Callie Torres entered their lives. When Callie and Arizona traveled, whether on business or for pleasure, Barbara and Daniel readily stepped in to care for the children. Daniel did his part, making sure Mark Timothy knew how to throw a spiral, field a baseball, change a tire and make minor repairs around the house.

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Lucia met the group in the hotel lobby. Callie was the first to greet her mother, then Barbara, Arizona, Torrey and finally a timid Robby approached Lucia to give her a hug. Lucia went wide-eyed as she saw the teen and two vibrant black and blue eyes. "Catherine, what happened to you? Calliope! Who did this to her?" Lucia demanded, immediately suspecting the worst.

Callie and Arizona cringed, knowing this moment would happen and still unready when it finally arrived. Lucia was not pleased.

"It's not what you think Mom. Robby was hit by a ball in a field hockey game. It looks worse that it is, really," she added unconvincingly.

"Catherine, this is why you should just stop with all these silly games. There's nothing lady-like about it," Lucia protested. She would much rather see her granddaughter planning for a debutante ball - though those were essentially obsolete - than participating in a hazardous sporting activity.

"I know Abuela, but I really like to play. I'm good at it. Next year we might even win States," Robby explained.

"She's super good, Abuela. Like our team really needs her. She's the leading scorer," Torrey proudly shared.

"You mean you are going to keep playing after this? I have enough on my plate without worrying about you getting hurt again," Lucia complained, clearly concerned with the girl's well-being.

Robby gave her grandmother a hug, "I'll be super careful, okay Abuela? The season is almost over. I don't think my moms will let me play in the last game anyhow. You don't need to worry for a while, if that helps."

Lucia held on a moment, savoring every moment she had with the teen. Both granddaughters loved her - despite the self-righteous attitude Lucia occasionally displayed.

Lucia had come a long way in eighteen years, mused Barbara as she watched the interaction. Carlos was always personable. Once he accepted Callie's choice of mates, he was all in. When Callie and Arizona first married, Lucia attended the unofficial wedding in body but not in soul. Then she kept her distance for a couple years. Barbara initially worried Lucia might never fully accept her own daughter or Arizona. It made her even sadder once the grandchildren came along. Lucia did not visit. These children, products of so much love by two women who were clearly soulmates, were easy to love. Yet, Lucia stayed away at first, always with a lame excuse.

Barbara stared admiringly at her granddaughters, both tall, smart and athletic. Catherine was blond, the spitting image of Arizona. Elizabeth was brunette, a mini Callie. Modern medicine, Barbara thought. It was truly miraculous. The two women opted to have an egg from each implanted in Callie's uterus, hoping one or both would survive.

It took some time for Lucia to accept this unconventional fertility technique. In the end, love won. Lucia did not have enough willpower to resist her adorable grandchildren. The children reciprocated, loving their stodgy grandmother, who seemed to lose a bit of her stodginess each time they were together.

After brunch, Callie, Arizona and Barbara headed right for the treatment rooms, leaving Lucia, Robby and Torrey to have their shopping spree. Callie reminded her daughters, "Do not be excessive, please. Okay? "

Torrey rolled her eyes, "Yes, Mom."

Callie kissed her mother, "Thank you for taking them. They are so excited."

"I'm selfishly excited. I have them all to myself for a couple hours. It's been too long. We'll be back by 4pm for the manicures and pedicures," Lucia stated.

As the trio walked out the door, Callie wondered what they talked about when they were together. Her daughters were like her, bold and not afraid to speak their minds. They were also respectful, but that didn't mean their filters were in check. Ahh, to be a fly on the wall, she mused as they disappeared through the revolving door.

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The temperature dropped a bit more each day. Early Thanksgiving morning it was a chilly 22 degrees. The heat was raised to 72 degrees in the house for the benefit of the grandparents as they grumbled about New England weather. Carlos and Lucia arrived moments earlier and two cars loads of fans would soon be heading to the high school football game; its occupants bundled in hats, scarves, mittens and warm coats. A few hours later, Lexington snagged the victory with a late, fourth quarter run by none other than Mark Timothy Robbins, earning him the game ball.

It took another two hours to get the meal on the table, which was preceded by grace from Carlos. He was clearly becoming increasingly sentimental with age. He thanked the good Lord for the events eighteen years ago that brought this miraculous family together.

As Carlos sat by the fire, sipping his scotch, he thought back to Calliope's wedding - the one that occurred twelve year ago, once the state of Massachusetts recognized same sex marriage. He insisted on hosting an elegant dinner party at one of Boston's finest restaurants in the Seaport, feeling it was his duty as father of the bride. It also mollified his feelings of remorse harbored since the original union eighteen years earlier. On that particular day in California, he was merely a bystander. It wasn't that he disapproved of Callie and Arizona's simple ceremony. He just didn't understand his role. The Robbins hosted the event - Daniel and Barbara were parents of the bride or rather one of the brides. He and Lucia were excluded from the planning for the obvious reason of Lucia. It was all so unfamiliar to Carlos. He more than made up for his inaction with the legal wedding.

It was an over the top affair, right down to the Fillet Mignon, Maine lobster and Dom Perignon. The guests list more than doubled in size from the first celebration. Family from both sides were represented; even more friends, old and new, and now children were present. All danced the night away to a Big Brass band.

Though much cherished and appreciated, Callie and Arizona always considered the second celebration a formality. Their backyard wedding, in the canyons, was the date they celebrated each year. The subsequent event served as a wonderful opportunity to renew their vows. The two women were still love struck six years later. It was truly a lovely evening, capped off with a second honeymoon to Italy, courtesy of Carlos and Lucia.

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Lively conversation filled the room over the Thanksgiving meal. The happiness of the loving family was without question. Carlos' blessing resulted in pangs of guilt coursing within Lucia throughout dinner as she recalled her efforts to squelch her daughter's relationship with Arizona, and really just ruin her Calliope's chance at happiness, period.

"You should have seen Abuela at this cool boutique. She bought the best outfit, right Abuela?" Torrey confirmed, as she wrapped her arm around her grandmother, pulling Lucia from her thoughts.

"Abuelo is going to think you're hot," added Robby.

"What Elizabeth?"

"That awesome dress you bought, remember?" Torrey reminded her. "You dress pretty stylish for a grandmother," the teen conceded. "Robby said you'll look hot."

Lucia blushed. The outfit in question was a brazen choice for her. Carlos would undoubtedly love it. She purchased it at the urging of her granddaughters. "Oh yes, I have just the occasion to wear it," Lucia confirmed with a cheeky grin. "Would you girls excuse me a minute?"

"Yeah, sure Abuela...Are you okay?" asked Robby.

Lucia nodded, "I just need a refill," she said, grabbing her glass.

Lucia walked to the kitchen, and stood in front of the sink, staring aimlessly out the window. She was blessed. Despite her unsupportive thoughts and actions through the early years, she was blessed. Sitting at the table, she was surrounded by so much love and happiness. Eighteen years ago she was just a one action, one word, one criticism away from losing all of it. Sunday, she spent a wonderful afternoon with her granddaughters, who loved her unconditionally. She regretted at first that she didn't know how to love them. It took almost two years for her to even meet her oldest grandchild. Those two girls and Mark Timothy brought her such joy.

"Mom, is everything alright?" Callie asked as she walked into the kitchen. Lucia turned around pulling Callie into a warm embrace. "Mom? You're crying."

Lucia smiled, "Happy tears. I'm getting to be just as foolishly sentimental as your father in my old age. I….I love you Calliope. I love all of this. It occurred to me as I sat through dinner that I almost lost the right to be here, to enjoy you and your family. Thank you for letting me share all this with you. It took me time to get here. Thank you for being patient with me."

Callie smiled, "Daddy said you would figure it out. He asked me to give you another chance. He was right. Arizona and I are made for each other. We love each other. We always have. I'm just glad you see that too."

"I do," Lucia agreed and quickly changed the subject, "Well, shall we get these pies on the table?" Lucia suggested. "Barbara has outdone herself, hasn't she?" she commented as she grabbed the delectable apple pie and walked back into the dining room

Callie shook her head. That was as long a conversation she had ever had with her mother on the subject of her true love with Arizona. Her mother had come so far. When her children were born, she never envisioned a Thanksgiving like this would ever be possible. She resigned herself to the fact after her daughters' birth, she would never see her mother again. She wasn't sure what prompted her mother to attend the twins' christening. It was the first time Lucia met her three grandchildren.

Arizona cautioned her on seeking the answer for Lucia's presence that day. Taking her wife's advice, Callie decided not to prod, fabricating her own reasons for her mother's reemergence to her life. Now, after all these years, she truly didn't care why her mother showed up to the girls' baptism. Had her father threatened her mother with a divorce? Was Lucia present purely for optics, so she didn't look like a spiteful old biddy to her snooty friends? Did her parish priest tell her she shunning her child and grandchildren was leading her on a path to Hell? Or had her mother truly changed?

It could be another ugly truth, Arizona warned, and what would Callie do then? Let it go, Arizona encouraged. So Callie did. But in that moment, in the kitchen, with her mother, Callie found the only answer she had truly ever been seeking. Lucia wholeheartedly loved all of them.

Callie chose to believe her mother had changed, though maybe not initially under her own power. Still, the woman standing in her kitchen moments ago clearly loved her and her family. That was enough for her.

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Arizona returned home after dropping her parents off at the airport. She found her wife already under the covers on the chilly Saturday night. "Well, all our guests are officially gone," she announced as she walked into their bedroom.

"Hey, you're back," Callie said in relief as she put down her book.

"Torrey's not home yet?" Arizona asked, noticing her daughter's bedroom door was open and the lights were off. Both MT and Robby were staying overnight with friends. Torrey was out on a date.

"No, not yet. I told her to be back by midnight," Callie advised. "I know one thing - after the full house this week, I don't like an empty house. It was much too quiet tonight."

Arizona smirked. "You better get used to it. In a few years, the kids will all be gone and our all nights will be this quiet."

Callie groaned in reply.

As she prepared for bed, Arizona kept talking, "At least the house is finally back in order. Imagine only needing to run the dishwasher once a day again. The week definitely worked out better than I thought it would," Arizona decided. "Who'd of thought eighteen years ago we would be having Thanksgiving dinner with _**our**_ parents in _**our**_ house with _**our**_ children. Our kids...they're really great kids. And did you see our dads at the game after MT scored that touchdown? They were so proud. I'm surprised your dad wasn't handing out cigars. And your mom is now a coolest grandmother ever. When did that happen?"

Callie smiled. "She's always been fashionable. Teenage girls and a blank check, she couldn't lose. We're lucky, Arizona, our kids enjoy their grandparents. And unlike his mama, MT even knows how to cook thanks to your mom. Our parents add so much to our kids' lives."

"They really do….Do you think they will all really come back for Christmas or do you think it's just an idle threat?" Arizona wondered aloud as she crawled into bed, calculating the time she had to recover before the next family invasion.

"Probably, your parents are coming, right? They usually do. I mean, they all had a great time. They even all got along. My parents are supposed to be spending Christmas with Aria and her family. Though, my father wants to talk Aria into coming to Boston this year. I don't see Aria trading warm, sunny beaches for freezing cold temperatures, snow and ice," Callie replied.

"We don't even have a month to recover. I'm not complaining. In three years, the kids will all be in college, our parents will be even older and maybe not able to travel easily. Who knows where we will be spending holidays by then." Arizona propped her head up on her left hand and continued talking, "Hey, you know, this is the first waking moment I've had alone with you in a week. I've missed you," she said as she ran her right hand up and down Callie's left arm. "Let's focus on the upside of an empty nest. Just think of all the wild things we can do when the kids are gone." Just then there was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," Arizona called out.

Torrey poked her head in. "I'm back."

Looking at the clock, Callie smiled, "You're early. So, what did you end up doing?"

"We went to the movies. We saw _The_ _Revenant_. A little too primitive for me," the teen complained.

Callie chuckled. Torrey was so much like Arizona. The wives had yet to see that movie. Blood, guts and gore didn't faze Callie given her line of work. The movie was a little too outdoorsy for Arizona, so seeing it wasn't a priority. "Well, I'm glad you're back safe and sound."

"Good night," Torrey said as she took a step backward and was about to close the door.

"Hey, no kisses," called out Arizona with a pout.

"Geez, really?" Torrey responded with a well-practiced eye-roll. "Don't you think I'm a little old for that?" the teen playfully protested. The goodnight kiss was an ongoing game. The parents demanding, the children whining and all thankful that it still mattered.

Callie merely outstretched her arms, waiting for her daughter's embrace. Torrey dropped her bag on the hall floor and stepped back into the room, giving each mother a goodnight kiss and hug.

"You'll never be too old to kiss us goodnight," Callie affirmed. "Love you."

"Love you guys, too." Torrey replied. She smiled as she closed the bedroom door.

Arizona crinkled her nose, "The Revenant? Ew."

Callie, looked at her wife, eyebrows raised and her reading glasses propped at the end of her nose. "Would you rather have heard ' _Netflix and chill'_ again?"

"No!" Arizona answered emphatically. They naively heard that phrase from MT a few times. It was a relief to the mothers that their penniless son was finally realizing there were plenty of activities to do that didn't cost a small, teenage fortune. Their happiness at not shelling out $20-$30 for his dates was short-lived once they discovered the underlying meaning of that phrase. Of course, MT was inundated with more safe sex conversations than was necessary, but that was because both moms were perturbed that MT took advantage of their naiveté.

"Let's go back to talking about all the things we can do when the kids are gone, like traveling," Arizona eagerly suggested. "I don't need to be reminded of the things they might be doing under our roof when we are not looking," she grumbled.

Callie smiled at Arizona's motherly trials and tribulations. Callie spent her own teenage years showcasing her antics as a way of tormenting her own parents. Her children's naughty deeds rarely dismayed her, never quite reaching the level of her teenage mischievousness. Arizona, on the other hand, had a wilder and, at times, more reckless youth than Daniel and Barbara were initially aware of. Bits and pieces spilled out over the years. Barbara Robbins playfully warned her daughter that payback was a hard pill to swallow as a mother. Barbara was right. Arizona worried about their children's antics enough for both of them.

"Travel sounds good. Where do you want to travel to?" Callie asked, knowing her wife was ready to change the subject.

"Well, we used to talk about a visiting Bata again once the kids left for college." Arizona hesitantly suggested, "Maybe we can visit there."

Callie vehemently shook her head, "No, I can't. I know we talked about it, but I don't think I can." Rattled, Callie drew Arizona near, so Arizona's head was now resting on her chest. Her mother's sort-of apology over Thanksgiving had Callie ruminating the last few days, sending her thoughts all the way back to Seattle, to a time she was certain her life would be full of nothing but solitude, which prompted her escape to Africa. In Africa, a new turmoil evolved. Despite the horrors, it did bring her to this moment. But she didn't want reminders of what was. She was content to be reminded of what she presently had. Africa needed to remain a memory.

Sensing her wife's introspection, Arizona stated assuredly, "We're great, Calliope. I mean eighteen years of marriage and three kids. Together, we're really great."

Callie tightened her hug in affirmation. "I know," she choked. Over the last eighteen years there were a few days she couldn't shake Bata from her brain. They were usually sad depressing thoughts of 'what if'. But then the kids would be bickering over something trivial or just acting ridiculously silly. Or Arizona would just happen to call, checking-in or like tonight, saying the magic words to bring her back. It miraculously happened at the moments she needed it most. Her family constantly pulled her back to the present, to her happiness, to her life. Despite the occasional heartache, she'd never regret Africa.

Callie affirmed, "The chaos of kids and parents - and the best wife in the world. I wouldn't have it any other way. But I've let Africa go. I went there when I was lost, searching for something. And I found her. Or, rather, she found me." A quiet calm took over the room. "How about Italy, like the Amalfi Coast or even the Greek Islands?"

"We'll go wherever you want," Arizona replied encouragingly. "As long as I'm with you, I'd be happy to just watch _Netflix and chill._ Actually, very happy," she provocatively teased.

"Hmmm," Callie seductively crooned. "A _staycation._ Or maybe I should say ' _laycation_ '." Callie gloated at her inappropriate play on words, a silly habit both women indulged in, each trying to outwit the other with shameless phrases when away from young and eager ears. "Perhaps a quick trip south?" she murmured.

Arizona waggled her eyebrows. "An overnighter. Love those," she cooed. After flicking the light switch off, she reached for Callie...

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 **The End**

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 ** **Author's Note (2):**** This story has finally come to an end. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, follow, favorite, and review. I do appreciate it! My sincere thanks to Cycworker who was very patient and generous with her time. Having a second set of eyes to look over and process an idea with was very helpful, especially since I seemed to change things all the time. When it started this story was 8 chapters and less than 20,000 words. **  
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